In my mind I can see the rain pouring everything it has into the ground,
I can see the sun shining with all its might onto the earth
and I can see the air breathing all its breath to help a single rose blossom and grow,
and I know that due to all these things,
bouquets of flowers are given to lovers to show their affection for one another
and each petal, no matter the color, represents all the feelings we may or may not feel
yet cannot express,
so we give each other flowers to show emotions that mean more than we can say,
just like all the things given to a seed growing in the ground every day
to prove that anything, no matter size, shape or color,
can become beautiful enough to express the one emotion that can never be explained by mere words,
yet easily expressed with a single rose.

We never found each other
amongst the traffic of our lives,
though I waited for you
in a pauper's tomb;
overgrown with pre-existing grass
and violent rosebush.

What is left after old sentiment?
After the nights spent hoping
for your uncertainty,
for any kind of sadness
that may bring you back to me.
I have not found the answer yet

and I have stopped asking the question.
I just work the day,
collecting free moments
as ash mounts the incense burner,
over-thinking each word exchanged
across the pillow of my mind.

The television news keeps rolling,
the world keeps turning.
Despite atrophy in routine
and the absence of you;
that deficit I cannot absolve
when left alone in its entirety.

Love arrived once I wrote it off
as a folly of forsaken selves;
freedom reduced to paranoid glances
at inactive screens.
I am ready for pain again,
if you are the one delivering it.

I had spent the majority of my life dosed up on antipsychotics,
pills floating in my stomach in a desperate attempt to flood my brain with sanity.
Grown men and women asking me questions and then putting me somewhere with white, cushioned walls.
And if I did so much as raise my hand to defend myself, i'd find myself being restrained by men in white clothing.
I never really saw daylight.
I'm writing this letter to whoever may read this as i need to apprise of why I did such a thing.
I selected the first woman I saw, I saw plenty of women within the white walls, but none with a complexion so beautiful and so unique.
I had this urge since I could detect detestation,
It was as if i needed to make my mark on the world as I has not done so before.
The urge seemed infinite, I could not cease the sensation.
The last thing I saw in her eyes was my reflection.
That night, I watched her blood drip from the coffee table to paint the carpet red,
I watched the whites in her eyes grow more intense,
And that night I lost my virginity to the most beautiful woman I had ever met.

I will love you
in the worst ways possible

I will take you slowly at first
then all at once like a sudden storm

The small light touches
Innocuous

A gale of laughter

Secret smiles
Like the sun playing hide and seek
on a particularly cloudy day


I will rip you apart and settle into your bones

Love you like you've never felt it before
As if there was no one but Me


I will tear you into bits
And open out the auricles
and ventricles of my heart


Tell you it's necessary
And leave
In a sudden storm

I will say it was for you
So you could move on  
Find someone better

Love someone the Right way
I'm too much of a mess,
I'll tell you

And when I leave
You'll beg me on your knees
To stay

I will say it is necessary
and go away
Say that one day,
looking back,
You'll see why

But my lightning
Will reside in your lungs and breath
Even as I make you burn

You'll never see why

But you know I wouldn't stay
I can't stay, I always say

I will apologise
I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry

But

But
Maybe I really needed to go
before you sunk into my bones
became my lightning
and took me by surprise

I will make you taste blood in your mouth
I'll be your biggest fan
When you write raving about my misdeeds
and coldness

I will see your writing grow exponentially
In oceans and mountains

I will love you love you love you
The only way I've known how

- from a distance.


this is how I've survived.

If I had a second skin
you'd still get under it,
still get in,
and so surrender seems to me
to be the only way that I can win.

I raise my hands and arms to you and you
come through to hug and kiss me,
hold me tight and
so slightly change me.

If I had a second skin
knowing what I now know
I'd let you in quite willingly
and never let you go.

I see these photos of these beautiful things
Even one of you sleeping
In the middle of the day

I know now that we won't
Talk almost at all this week
And that saddens me
But when I do get that call
Whenever it may be
Your voice will be the highlight of my day

Even though,
You will be gone for a week
Happiness, for you, I will seek

I want you to know
I'll always be thinking of you,
So be happy
And have a beautiful week

I will want your touch
I will desire your lips
I will urne for your eyes and smile
And need you in my arms

With beautiful weather
Get a tan
And come back to the land of snow
You will surly glow

I'll be waiting in your driveway
With open arms
To catch you
As you jump into them
In a weeks time
We will be reunited
And fall tremendously in love
With lying down together again

What is this maze?
Of questions
I am trying to go through
But there are nothing
But dead ends
Trying to make me look bad
Either way I go
I hit another dead end

It's been 6 months
Of being with you
But
Over a year
Sense I fell in love

6 months
Of time spent with you
Hugging, Kissing, Loving
Each other

6 months
Of loving you
And missing you
When your gone
So, here is to
Another
6 months together!
(Hopefully a better poem then)