It's like Rupi Kaur says,
"You should have known."
You should have seen me
as a candle,
you should have felt
me as a flame.
You should have never
tried to hold me,
should have never
changed my name.
I was never merely embers,
I was always made
for pain.

He sees me as a candle
soft and light and
smelling sweet.
Or he sees me as
a wild fire and he
marvels at my heat.
He's the wind and so
he tests me
and I
burn out or I rage.
He's the wind and so
I need him,
to clear away the haze.

He can quench the
flicking candle,
he can feed the
blazing flare.
He can touch me
without burning -
I can't breathe without
his air.

There's a lens to my eye,
There's a filter to my ear;
There's a seal on my mouth,
And a mask on my face.

There's patience in my mind,
But frost bites in my heart;
It feels a little lonelier,
And yet a little safer.

I once heard that every cell in the body replaces itself every seven years, and I often hear people saying how lucky they are to one day have a body that will have not been touched by you, but unlucky for me time is of the essence and I want no further delay. I'm ripping the skin from my lips where you last kissed me because I'm scared I was never gentle enough. I'm burning my tongue to rid myself of your taste because I was always too bitter for a sweet thing like you. I'm scratching at my legs until my fingers are raw because they were once wrapped around you and I'm anxious that my grip was too tight. I'm tearing at my fingernails because they once scratched down your back and I'm worried the cuts may have run too deep. I'm pulling myself to pieces until I'm slouched in a puddle of blood, and I need it all to be gone because you tended to my wounds and it sickens me that I let you get into my heart in such an intricate way.

O dear time,
I blink my eyes and you pass..
pinching my attention..
making  me realize how far you have taken me with you
that when I look back..
I see a long endless bridge of ceremonious past
built with the  bricks of
an immensely spirited childhood
and a carefree wonderful teenage..
and now when I turn back to see forward..
All I can see is the mosaic you have constructed..
with the  streaks and dazzles of an unseen future..
which is calling my novice feet
to walk on its Zigzag path...

Have you ever missed someone so much that your arms feel numb without them there to be held in them? So much that you can see their absence pulsing round your body? So much that you'd give anything to be back in their arms, kissing lazily as the sun makes stars out of the dust particles floating around the air? So much that you've started believing that maybe single beds weren't made for just one person? So much that you're starting to think maybe phantom limb syndrome is the only way you'll be able to feel their touch again? So much that you have to pull over on the side of the road because them not being there is causing a sickness inside of you? So much that missing them is the only feeling inside of your body and so much that it's infecting your chest with a sadness that never feels like it's going to go away?

I miss you more than all of these combined.