i hate so much hating myself
my skin
my arms
my waist
my legs
and all my body
'cause I'm a living, breathing creature
who can walk and talk and think and feel
my body works perfectly
and it has done so much
just to keep me alive.
my body loves me,
so why can't I love it back?

i hate how no matter how we're born
we are taught to despise
every bit of ourselves.

i hate how we learn to hate food
while so many are starving
for real reasons.

i hate this tortuous looks in the mirror
and this never ending cycle.

i hate how we try so hard to
make our outside look pretty
while we empty our insides.

i hate how our society
damages young girls and boy's brains.
i hate how they'll never feel whole
and proud of themselves.

i hate how socially acceptable it is
to do whatever it costs to lose weight
and i hate how we applaud
when people do.

i hate how we think it's okay
to comment in other people's appearance
as if it was meant for us
to define what they should look like.

i hate how hypocrites we are
talking about how wrong all this is
but reproducing this all the time.

i hate how no one actually cares
until it's too late.
and i hate how we're all broken,
pretending to be okay.

tears keep on falling
like the rain outside
and I'm sick of having to hide them
and I'm sick of feeling this
and being so inevitably alone.

and when u finally notice
my sadness
you tell me that I'm just being dramatic
and I just have to chill.
Fine,
get me out of here.
far, far away,
and I'll chill

maybe we give up on each other
because we see how broken we are
no glue can fix it.

maybe we give up on each other
'cause we already gave up on ourselves.
so why fight for anything at all?

maybe we give up on each other
'cause we're so used to the cracks
we can't even remember
how it feels like to be whole.

maybe we give up on each other
because we lost all strenght fighting
and saw that it wasn't worth anything.

maybe we give up on each other
because it's already hard enough
to carry ourselves
and our own mess.

maybe we give up on each other
'cause we can't remember
how it felt like
when we were one
and whole.

maybe we give up 'cause there rly ain't nothing else left.
just accept it.

friendships all fallen apart
like fruits from a tree
and we watch as they rot
tired of being the only ones who care
tired of being the only ones that make an effort.
as if  it wasn't enough everything being so ****** up,
we're ****** up.
but we were supposed to be there for each other
we were supposed to tell what we're feeling
and help
but everyone's hurting
caught up in our sadness
we can't see through our tears

I kinda wanna write about it
about every single thing that's cracking inside
but writing means feeling,
living all those things again
and all I wanted was to not feel at all.