What if you wake up one morning and realize you've made a huge mistake?

I've never liked the color brown
It has always seemed too weird to me..
In art brown can be made by mixing every color together and waiting to see what happens..

I ruined some of my best paints that way.

In earth brown is the tree bark, sometimes the fur of a small animal
Sometimes brown is the pile of dung you stepped in playing in your yard as a little kid.

Brown reminds me of the smell of a cow pasture
some people find it comforting
I just find it disgusting

I thought I could never love someone with brown eyes, for I even hated my own golden brown eyes.

But then I say him
He was perfect
everything about his was something I desired
everything from his hair to the small things like his country accent that got me so captured

The first thing  noticed when I saw him was his eyes
His big beautiful brown eyes
They were so mysterious and there was whirlpool of emotion entwined inside
I could see into them like open doors and I got lost in them
I loved his eyes
more than I thought i could ever love anything that shade of brown.

*I still hate my eyes
but the thought of his eyes bring me such joy.
The thought of the chocolate eyes that made me so happy and I fell so hard for.

The initial heartbreak is gone...

And underneath that is anger;

Anger at you for leaving
Anger at myself for crying because you left
Anger at fate for giving me you
Anger at my heart for being so easily fooled

Under that anger is empty bitterness.

Bitterness because I let you get so close to me
Bitterness because I let you break my heart repeatedly

and bitterness because after all of that;

I still believed you loved me.

He pushed play
He said "Hey"

But he pressed fast forward
And leaned inward

So I pressed play
We could've kissed all day

He pressed pause
There were a few flaws

I pressed play
I thought it'd be okay

He hit stop
Was I too over the top?

Ether way,
I want to press replay