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 Jul 2017 july hearne
Leena
Burn.
 Jul 2017 july hearne
Leena
Her coffee addiction slowly took a turn,
when the liveliness within ceased to exist,
and each day, the burn against her lips
reminded her of him
and she knew it'll take a while
to escape.
 Jul 2017 july hearne
dusk
"round and around and around
and around we go."

she hurt you and you
hurt me and i
probably am hurting him too,
but that's life for you.

you call me at 3am,
every day, like clockwork.
the routine's the same; i slide
out of bed, change, and meet you
and the diner down the street.

you say the same things; how
you can't sleep now that she's gone
and how instead of wanting her back
you just want a second chance to
get things right.

i sit there, etch an expression
of sympathy onto my face, reach out,
and hold your hand. but all i'm thinking
is how my heart aches when yours does, how
i wish i could be the one to piece you
back together again.

suddenly i hate her,
the girl who did this to you,
because she had it all, *your love
,
and she threw it away.

but then i look at her face and i realize
it's not her fault, it never was.
the problem with paper hearts
is that it's never a clean break,
just a messy tear.

all the words i speak will never be enough
to heal the hole in your heart
because those words come from my heart,
not from hers.
 Jul 2017 july hearne
Zero Nine
The new ghosts of old loss are coming 'round again.
They're wearing their adult size shoes in the young sun of mem'ry.
Never has there been such a sizzle. HOT. HOT.
Fingers. They put their fingers in the children.
Into the past and reach for damage.
The new ghosts of old ghosts
Want to get their fingers on my
Past, would you imagine that?
 Jul 2017 july hearne
Zero Nine
She'd gone from discharge straight back to the office, dressed in her sweats and intake band. She got into the elevator, fingered lucky seven, and rode the way up stuck in molasses thoughts, in anger and shame.

She was no one's property, The Agency's least of all.

The neon lights over River City's southeast side popped and sparked, dancing gracefully in the array of dull grey derelicts. She watched them exploding through the safety of the glass.

She'd tell Asgar exactly what she thought.


"I don't give a **** about the why, I give a **** about the how. How could you do that to me, man?"

I was doing you a favor.

"No, don't even -- you were doing your ******* self a favor. "

Oh, of course. We all thought you might like to have some teeth, Miriam.

"Don't say my name like that! I'm not your ******* daughter."

Calm down, okay? Please?

"You made a decision about my body that was not yours to make. If I want to be a toothless crone, that's my business. If I want to have one *** and a ****, that's my ******* business, Asgar. "


And when it was over, as most do, she rode the way home with her head hung below her shoulders, wondering if the words she'd found to say were too true. She wondered, what some wonder, if her truths were better used when they were cut from the script to defuse inconvenient situations.

When she went inside, Miriam threw her keys and her clothes into a pile by the bedroom door, pulled the band from her wrist and then stepped into the shower. She'd go out. If she truly weren't worth her weight, then she'd throw herself to the city, hoping to trade what was left for ***.

And drugs. Drugs, too.
From wherein did I say I was something way back when?
Excuse me for my grammar, it's this ******* mescaline.

From here on out where were we before the barmaid came to call?
Before I have another whiskey and demand we hear The Wall.

Ahh, you were just about to leave me where others flown before.
Well please don't let me stop you. Here, I'll hold the ****** door.
I had a long day.
The sun met me at the foot of my bed.
The grass was moist.
I didn't burn my toast.
No cat puke to clean up.
My car started.
I sat on my deck and stared at the nothing.
I didn't think about her at all.
Until now.
My steak came out good.
I still had four nips in the cabinet.
Wrote a poem for the moon.
Under the moon.
I had a long day.
My story?
I know you didn't ask.
I love two women.
They're both off getting plowed by other people.
I'm trying to drink myself to death because my heart disease is too painful.
Yayyyyy life.
At times.
It seems like I've got a bag literally filled with **** tied to my waist. Because I think or I have convinced myself I need it. That I am to suffer the weighing stench my own failings.
Well **** that ****. I'm human. And I hold no doubts that there are far worse than I in character by comparison. Am I the best I can be? Probably not. However I like to think I'm doing a little better than the guy wearing a diaper while being led around the room by an under aged Cambodian girl. That ******* has issues.
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