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i do not like to talk...i do not like to judge...
although i could be beautiful...

...دوست ندارم حرف بزنم...دوست ندارم قضاوت کنم
...با این که می توانستم زیبا باشم
 Jan 2017 Joseph Schneider
Olive
I hope when you leave,
You don’t think about leaving me.
I hope we stay friends,
I hope we still have the 2 a.m talks.
I love the way you told me goodbye,
I love that you knew from day one.
I think you know me too well,
I think you see me too clearly
You’re my friend and I wish I could disappear with you.
I’m never sure if you’re smiling at me or looking just over my shoulder.
I hope you come back in April,
I hope we go on that road trip in May.
I wish I could say the things I’m too stressed to say.
I’m missing you like hell, although I’ll smile when you drive away.
 Jan 2017 Joseph Schneider
Olive
I wish you’ve never heard me laugh,
I wish you’ve never seen me cry.
I hate how without even looking, you can tell I’m upset,
I hate when you can tell I’m lying.
I want every night to be like November,
I want you to race back to my house and spend two hours with me in the driveway.
I want to be your biggest fan.
I love how you say you’ll call,
I love the tattoo on your right shoulder that you never posted,
I love how irritated you get when I say ‘never mind’
I love to imagine I mean something to you, maybe just a fraction of a thought.
I want to yell at you and pick fights,
I want to tell you you’re insane when you swerve on the road to avoid the potholes,
I want to be the best friend you thought you didn’t need,
I want to hold your hand.
I know you’re leaving me in the rubble,
I know you’re driving far, far away,
I know why you’re leaving too.
I want to know your heart like how you’ve come to live in mine,
I want to know you like how you’ve come to know me.
Notes, musical keys, rythmic changes-
A modification of the Word
Which purifies her soulfulness
And expresses clarities in the fog,
The hint of Dickinson in her words,
The scent of reality in her reflection,
     The words become a path:

One wet summer I heard your words,
The vibrant sky breaths
And the sun became as embers
Of poetic sacrifice,
Through reading your poem
I became as a double being,
Movement began
A sudden dispersion of birds
Followed by the Humm of water
On stone,
Murmurs of infinite moments
Painting them all like some
Poet Saint,
The words became a lineage
To the unfathomable depths of you,
In the helix of hours
The beat of the sea and the stilled
Shimmers of light on water can be found
In the edification of her poetry;

Master strokes,
Like a naked liberation
Of a diamond body beyond
A turquoise sunset,
A co concubine of words
That form constellated meanings
Among the pnumbra,
Reminiscent of the March of hours
In which the words come
And a fixed glitter in her eyes form,
The form of woman,
A form of dizziness
Like a dance of wind and water,
I read between the words,

    Vicki,
         Vicki,

I imagine a lamp in the middle
Of the night,
A pen and a womans scorching
Words as God had spoken
The First Word,
Like a moon in heat in midday's
Grasp, she counters every word
Of expression
Like a cell for my tortured soul,
She became my solitary star,
I wander in her hours,
Hungry for more words,
A memory inventing itself,
Masterfully,
She makes the sky walk the land.
For my infinitely talented friend Vicki.
align
your soul
with
the stars
align
your mind
with
Allah
but
know thyself
and
who you are
Most times you will find me silent.
Unwilling to put the thoughts into sentences.
But I promise you;
I will return.

Step by step,
Piece by piece,
We will examine each one on it's own.

We'll lighten the darkness a little,
And make it a more pleasant view.

Imagination I leave for you to decide what to do with.
I fight myself awake every morning,
dragging my lifeless body out of bed
because I am so tired of trying
to deal with the reality that you're gone.
And you're not coming back.
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