Have I gone mad
(I'll ask myself)

It can't be normal to think this much
(I'll tell myself)

If only I wasn't so vulnerable
(I'll blame myself)

STOP IT
(I'll scold myself)

I'm worth the time
(I'll encourage myself)

I'm valuable
(I'll remind myself)

Think positively & Trust in God
(I'll challenge myself)

I'll be okay
(I assure myself)

REPEAT

it was pouring when i left your house that november night and everything reminded me of you
like the spot that the windshield
wipers can never reach
god, i didn't see that car coming
but i swear you were the last thing
going through my mind
before it went through the windshield

(cjw)

Dread, is when I took step after endless step on the staircase of death.
No. ‘Death’ is too extreme - ‘staircase of scattered limbs and self-esteems.’
The summit wasn’t far now yet it wasn’t getting any closer.
My cousin Keya was behind me; her breath cooled
my sun-blistered calves and I looked back at her.
Her almond eyes and her thin lips came together
in that customary way that moved anyone to her command.
I turned back and took the steps two at a time, too quickly to think.

Was the sky really this blue?
When it isn’t crowded out by buildings, planes and industry
it could be mistaken for the smiling reflection of an unbroken ocean.
It was a strange feeling, to be so tall and no taller. I thought:
‘if I were to live here,
I’d forever be looking down at the rest of the world.’

Keya’s little head scans the ground at my feet before she joins me.
I grit my teeth and
ignore my knocking knees.
The clouds had stood still as if they had stopped to watch and right then, it was hard to see
how this moment could possibly end.

Braying, restless braying shook me out of my reverie.
The clamour of the fiendish contingent below us clashed violently
against each other. Some
were new challengers.
Others hoped to reclaim the dignities they had lost up here.

I raised my foot; ‘I am ready’.
A hand gently pushes the small of my back.
‘No’ I thought. ‘I’m not ready at all.’
My bony bottom bounces off the sides of the slide to cheers from below. Keya laughs, and follows.

Thousand glaring lights I see,
But wait, who's there for me?
Thousand signs on every Road I see,
But who's out there to help me?


Eternity of every hope,
Ends with every tear drop,
Time runs across limitless sands,
Who's gonna see it fleeting til the end?

Sleeping cities do exist,
Where silence too depict..
Ghost stories, they are living,
Anybody out there Believing?

Life at its pace,
I can no longer race.
Long way to the shore,
Can we hold on a little more?

Ran Hard  and Fast,
For success that might ever last..
Too much in this World to have Or,
Just a walk from my Home To my Grave?

One of my wishes is that those trees,
so old and firm they scarcely show the breeze.
Where not as 'twere the  merest mark of gloom,
but stretched away, unto the edge of  doom.

I should not be withheld, but that some day,
into their vastness I might steal away.
Fearless of ever finding open land,
or the highway where the slow wheel pours the sand.

I don't know why I should ever turn back
or those not set forth upon my track.
To overtake me, who should miss me here
and long to know if still I held them dear.

They would not find me changed from him they knew-
only more sure of all I thought was true.

I've lost someone that I've new for a long time
and now i really want to die it hurts so much i can't take it anymore
i really want to sprawl out on the floor.
i know she's with god now but why'd you have to take her from me
she's only 21 and i'm 16 but we really had dreams me going to college while she has her office in her big city me being a Docter she having a family i just don't understand she was so young and beautiful i just can't take it anymore it's making me burst inside..but bye now i'm gonna go die