in the end i cant decide
if it is better to love another broken thing
or if it is even possible to love something that is whole

One day the moon stepped aside for the sun to take its place.
Apollo had never been bashful, but he dug his heel into the dirt and swore you were the center of the world.
Quite frankly, my dear,
It was only a matter of time before I was drawn to you.

She makes me laugh in the way nobody else can.
She makes me smile in a world full of familiar frowns and furrowed brows.
She makes me roll my eyes in a way that seems too playful to be genuine.
I think she loves me,
and maybe that isn't so bad.

She makes me feel at home when I have nowhere to go.
She keeps me warm when even my fortress of blankets stands no chance against the cold.
She makes me sigh in such a way that even I can't tell what emotion I'm feeling.
I know she loves me,
and maybe that isn't so bad.

I don't know which seems further-
the distance in miles, or months?

You're so far away,
and it might seem cliche,
but I'll walk to you if I have to
if it means that you're okay-
and,
three years isn't that bad, right?
If I just keep talking to you at night
it'll be easy to pretend that
maybe we're both doing alright...

You know, you mean the world to me.
I don't even have to try to rhyme for you anymore
(seriously, those were accidents),
it just comes pouring out.
I can't wait for the day that I can kiss you and say,
"Hey, bb. We made it."

and it's not just you, or everything that you do,
it's not that i'm never high, or that i don't appreciate drops of sunlight on cold days,
but every step is fighting an earthquake and i'm struggling to stay on my feet
and it's too much to ask if i want to take a breath while i'm in (anyone's) space

Two pills later with droopy eyes,
Cinnamon aphrodisiacs,
Candles that smell like your skin when you bury your nails in my thighs and seek some greater vengeance,
Sun-kissed skin and the muscles of a lover (and a fighter,
because what is love without fighting).

Heaven in copper pools,
except I've never believed in God.

Today I found a sense of peace within myself,
and it made me uncomfortable.
This isn't to say I didn't see it coming,
but,
if that storm was my vacation, then I hated summer break.

I don't know what to do with anyone anymore-
not excluding myself, of course-
and you are certainly no exception.
I feel no pang when I see you with her, and why should I?
Have her, if you want. I have another, anyway, and it took me too long to realize
what I would really be giving up
if I tried to chase down another lost cause.

Maybe we're following each other, but I am officially clearing my scent
and leaving myself blind to you.
We will not remain,
but maybe you and me can work out a way not to fall apart.

This isn't a poem;
But it's hard not to miss some people,
when you see things that remind you of them,
when shows play that remind you of them,
when songs stream that remind you of them,
of their voice,
of how you used to be...
I wish things were the same.
Maybe they can be the same.
Maybe I should stop holding on to memories
(but they're all I have).

This mare will not heed-
she was meant to succeed!
Power on, don't let your confidence waver,
tomorrow may bring something greater!

O, You,
who stole my heart so long ago...
Where are you now?
I need you more than ever.
Maybe if we stay up together I'll forget
what makes me tremble at night,
and you can finally say
that someone got you something
for your birthday...

If I take your hands into my own,
quivering,
and tattoo your skin with kisses,
passionate,
do you think you'll fall in love with me?

don't take this personally,
I just don't want to go back there.
dirt and concrete never appealed to me
any more than your children's bad blood.
woe is you, though
if I try to leave for me.
clipped my wings so I'll never be free.
I'm not good at chess, but I make a good pawn.

Bury me in the ocean of my tears,
please-
or, at least drown me in it.
I've grown so dependent it's pathetic
and I'm walking circles in inquiries
pretending to figure out what to do next.
Your love, her approval, their eyes-
I don't think the events of my childhood are the reasons I'm on these ******* pills.

Here's to another night hoping there won't be another morning,
and to another tear-stained pillowcase.

One had wise cocoa eyes and dimples like craters in his cheeks,
and spoke with such energy you couldn't help but love him.
The other had hair like fire and such a perfect smile,
and the fervor in his voice was like taking your first sip of coffee in the morning.

Is it too much to ask for two more hours with you?
We didn't stay long but I can remember the way your hand fit to mine and the taste of your cheek from our rushed goodbye.
What kind of shoes do I need to wear to walk to where you are?
One day I'm going to wipe the hair from your face to reveal those gorgeous green eyes and revel in the emotions you try to tuck away.
Do you mind if I call every day to tell you how beautiful you are?
I might not always see your face, but I can never forget it when it makes my heart race more than a mile a minute.

If I am not important to you,
then I guess I can understand ignoring me the one time we're in the same mile radius of each other
for the first time in three months
after four years of friendship.

She is five-foot-three,
with an odd crop of brown hair
and a catlike grin
that forces her to smile when she doesn't want to.

She is fourteen (fifteen in thirty-seven- no, thirty-six days),
and makes me think that age might really be
just a number,
because she carries herself
with all the wisdom and remorse
of someone much older than me.

She is perfect
in the most imperfect of ways,
and her dry humor and quirky attitude
can keep me smiling all day.

She is everything I never asked for,
but
She is everything I've ever wanted.

It's not even about you.

It's fire scorching everything in your path,
the way you command attention from everyone without saying a word.
It's starshine in your eyes,
how you can make the worst things sound like they've been made of velvet,
how you could snap my heart in two and convince me it was a good thing.
It's the seduction,
the growl in your throat when something you want is just within reach,
when you don't make promises and I still expect you to deliver,
but you're still a ******* god when my expectations exceed everything else.

It's about how you love,
how you could suffocate me with your two hands,
and I'd still waste my breath on you.  

It's about the way you noticed me,
how it was only for a moment,
and I'm still enamoured.

I think I've fallen already,
because I keep waiting for you to pull away,
and just the thought of that has me crippled.

I sigh a lot,
and my tears taste like the ocean,
and I don't talk very loud,
and I stutter a little,
and I am not very pretty,
and I am constantly tripping over air,
but,
I could love you with every bit
of my Awkward Little Self
if you would just give me the chance.

theres empty spaces between your fingers that fit Oh So Perfectly with mine.
you are too easy to love, and easier to lose.
i would do it all over again.

We found each other in the crevices of our hearts.

Someone who is worthless has no right to act happy.
You are not gracing society with any sort of compensation, so why reap what others are sewing?
A stupid sack of nothing, a waste of oxygen. Can't keep a job, can't pay your one ******* bill. Just one. One! And you can't pay it.
Can't provide for anything you say you love, but, oh, what's this? You can crack jokes? Great! That'll put gas in the car.
You were a ******* accident for a reason, I guess.
Go cry to someone who gives a ****.

I really want you to love me.
Or maybe it's just 3:33am.

I want to hold you.
I want our breathing to synchronize and our hearts to beat in the same rhythm while our eyes stay locked and the only thing running through our minds is love.
I want to squeeze your hand and twine our fingers together and feel your pulse when our wrists touch.

I want to show you the house I grew up in and introduce you to my family.
I want you to step foot in that apartment and touch the walls and understand why I can call it home.
I want to take you to my backyard and hear your laughter fill the air while my dogs cover you in kisses because, ****, you're something special.

I want to visit your hometown and learn of everything that means something to you.
I want to meet your brother and thank him for holding onto someone so amazing.
I want to  hear the confidence in your voice when you introduce us to your family and press my lips to your forehead so you know how proud I am of your bravery.

I want to explore the world with you and create memories only we can share.
I want to wake up every morning with your breath on my skin and stroke your hair while I think of how lucky I am.

I want you.

Pressed into the mattress, there's a sheet over my head
I'm screaming for some end cause I'm tired of being dead inside
Every mistake haunts me for years
I disappoint everyone around me
Can't keep a ******* job, barely graduated high school
Don't even talk to my friends anymore
These tears should be forbidden, I don't deserve to cry
I've just brought shame and disappointment and agony and anger
I've no right to be sad when it's my own ******* fault
I just can't move when I **** up every time I do

Note that, when you change your mind,
my thoughts shift, too,
perhaps not always in a way too kind,
but, at least they still center around you,
and that is good enough for the both of us.

The day I can hold you to my chest and know you're safe is the day I'll finally be able to relax a little.

My hands fit to your waist,
so perfectly,
so effortlessly,
I could swear we were crafted together.

Your lips feel so good on mine, that,
when I'm feeling down,
like the world is against me
(it probably is),
just the thought of your delicate skin
gracing Abaddon with the most divine of touches
is enough to soothe the charcoal soul
of Lucifer (her)self.

Lying awake at night was so
dreadful
before you were around.
I never want to sleep because I can hear the smile
in your voice.

Sometimes, I see the stars,
and I trace the crinkles of your
beautiful eyes
in the astounding wonderland
God crafted solely for you.

God, God, I love what you do to me.

It is 7:19 in the morning and I want nothing more than to
wrap my arms around your waist
and pull your body to mine
and kiss your shoulder blade
and the back of your neck
and your cheek
and your hair
and it isn't enough to murmur your name every waking moment of my life
because I could be holding you instead
but there are
miles
and hours
and years
between us
and I know it's worth the wait
but, man,
what I wouldn't give to feel you right now.

I want your body pressed to mine so our hearts feel each other's beats.

My arms circled around your waste
and a kiss pressed to your face
a sound rhythm in our veins
I can't even begin to explain
You drive me crazy,
in a good way
I'd give anything at all
if it meant forever you'd stay
I don't think I have to, though
we're near tied together
A hundred minutes, weeks, or years
Any amount of time's forever
An infinity of our own
I can build a life around you
Pressing kisses to your palms
Pressing faith into truth
Matrimony? In time,
no need to rush it all
we've got forever ahead of us, darling
and I've already started to fall.

I'm beginning to wonder if it's a nightmare or a wish...

If you find thin traces of despair on my veins tomorrow mo(u)rning, will you still love me?

Hypocrisy is buried deep in your bones,
nestled between the promises you kept tucked into your skin
and the charm you held on your tongue.
"Don't hurt them," you said,
"Don't hurt the ones who care about you
and leave them for someone who doesn't give a ****."

Well, Lovely,
see how the tables have turned?
I suppose you figured out that 'evil' spelled backwards is 'live.'

I see you;
In the horses slowly trotting, riding along at the commands of their masters;
In the leaves clinging desperately to the vulnerable trees, left to the fate of the unrelenting breeze;
In the clouds drifting by, their shapes reforming at the will of the wind;
In the flowers wilting in the sun, screaming at their roots to find some source of water in this drought.

You go at the leisure of the ones who saddle your back,
and hold onto those hurt people, who angrily batter at your cowering form.
You mold yourself to others' preferences,
and are crushed by your god, looking for some hope he may have left you in this seemingly eternal despair.

I see you in my reflection, seeking some sort of break from an already fractured world.
You are broken and the world around you bent,
but there are ways to fix everything,
and I am studying to be a Mender.

Your taste is so unique,
some combination of something piquant, like peppers,
dull in comparison to the unmistakable flavor of sweet strawberries,
and it's so devilishly easy to plant cherry kisses on your skin
while your effortless groans are soaked up by whitewashed walls and cheap carpet.
I could write a novel about everything you do to drive me crazy
and I would call it...

So many people die
just to breathe again.

Treading softly with fingers on your skin
our eyes locked on one another
gotta go soon, can't stay too long
every second with you is time well spent
though, I wonder if you feel the same
hearts beating as one
eventually we'll give in to
reduced sleep and nights spent drawing lazy circles in our wounds

From dusk til dawn
one thought on my mind
recoiling at the thought of anyone else
everything is you
various ways to ask you the same, but
even I can't figure out how, instead just
reveling in the way you say my name.

I'm bleeding horizons into the carpet with every ideal I can't obtain.
Oxygen catching in my throat, my lungs don't want it anymore.
You left me heaving promises into thin air and holding myself up on a chair with a missing leg.
Who are you to tell me what I don't want?

I'm not scared of you. (I'm terrified.)

I can walk this earth alone and confident. (Will you catch me when I stumble?)

Tripping over my own tearstains is an accident I've grown used to,
but outsiders still think it odd...
Who would've known to be afraid of themselves?

Is it still a sin if you say it's love?

I am not a Good Person
I will tear your heart out and stomp on it,
throw it to the dogs
let you watch the love drain from your own body

I am not a Good Person
I will love you and hold you in my hands
like a wounded bird
and I will fix broken wings
before I smash them to pieces once again

I am not a Good Person
and you will wind up hurt very soon
if you do not take your vessels and leave me stranded here
quaking in your absence

what do you give someone when they already (think they) have the universe?

She doesn't know how to make you happy.
She doesn't have the ability to wrap her arms around you and whisper in your young ears that old women are strangers.
She doesn't know how to kiss your tears away because the ocean terrifies her and you taste like saltwater when you bask in the sun.
She doesn't want to watch you suffocate but it's hard to let you breathe when she needs oxygen, too.
You are sunlight and glory and an inescapable breeze in winter but to her you are fragile and have broken too many times and she's running out of super glue.

Maybe this doesn't make any sense, but neither does her head
neither do you and neither does she
cause you aren't a single thing she knows what to do with
yet she can't find it in her to let you go.

Part your lips and speak my name
in a whisper so quiet the dead can't even hear it
because I want to know you're mine.
Come closer and tell me you own me
so I can pull you to my body and plant a kiss to your neck
and murmur my sins into your skin
because we're both going to Hell someday.
Drag me to my knees
and make me plead for you to stay
because you're too good for any saint
and I can't possibly worship you enough.

You're my sun and I want to ******* bask in your glow
like you're the only thing there and like you're all that I see
until there really isn't anything left.

i. twilight on the mountaintop

ii. say I've got room for two in this coat
sharing warmth, but it's more than convenience

iii. does kissing ward off the cold? let's find out

vi. your cheeks look like fire but they're too soft to burn

v. I wish these gloves weren't separating our skin

I want to be the one that makes you happy;
I know I can never make your eyes light up like that.

I want to feel your body against mine, in some perfect rhythm that orchestras can only dream about;
I know that someone else will fit your mold better than I can.

I yearn to be the one to hold your hand on chilly days set in between autumn and winter;
I'm scared that you'll let go again.

I want to love you like I never had the chance to;
I remember I won't be able to break that threshold.

I want you to be mine;
I remember that I am always yours.

I miss the way you feel
and I want you to love me.

I miss your absence
and I want you to crave me.

I miss your presence
and I want you to kiss me.

I miss your friendship
and I want you to tell me.

I miss the way you held me
and I want you to **** me.

If you told me God crafted you in Her image,
I would go to church on Sundays.