I want your body pressed to mine so our hearts feel each other's beats.

My arms circled around your waste
and a kiss pressed to your face
a sound rhythm in our veins
I can't even begin to explain
You drive me crazy,
in a good way
I'd give anything at all
if it meant forever you'd stay
I don't think I have to, though
we're near tied together
A hundred minutes, weeks, or years
Any amount of time's forever
An infinity of our own
I can build a life around you
Pressing kisses to your palms
Pressing faith into truth
Matrimony? In time,
no need to rush it all
we've got forever ahead of us, darling
and I've already started to fall.

If I am not important to you,
then I guess I can understand ignoring me the one time we're in the same mile radius of each other
for the first time in three months
after four years of friendship.

Someone who is worthless has no right to act happy.
You are not gracing society with any sort of compensation, so why reap what others are sewing?
A stupid sack of nothing, a waste of oxygen. Can't keep a job, can't pay your one ******* bill. Just one. One! And you can't pay it.
Can't provide for anything you say you love, but, oh, what's this? You can crack jokes? Great! That'll put gas in the car.
You were a ******* accident for a reason, I guess.
Go cry to someone who gives a ****.

Treading softly with fingers on your skin
our eyes locked on one another
gotta go soon, can't stay too long
every second with you is time well spent
though, I wonder if you feel the same
hearts beating as one
eventually we'll give in to
reduced sleep and nights spent drawing lazy circles in our wounds

From dusk til dawn
one thought on my mind
recoiling at the thought of anyone else
everything is you
various ways to ask you the same, but
even I can't figure out how, instead just
reveling in the way you say my name.

It's not so much a longing as it is pure curiosity,
but there's no need to reopen closed wounds.
Sugar soothes my scars, but you're salt,
and we were meant to fall apart eventually.
So, I will call some neutrality
(this is my doing so),
because we all **** up, and I've no ill will left to poison anyone with,
and I will be here if you ever need me.

Pressed into the mattress, there's a sheet over my head
I'm screaming for some end cause I'm tired of being dead inside
Every mistake haunts me for years
I disappoint everyone around me
Can't keep a ******* job, barely graduated high school
Don't even talk to my friends anymore
These tears should be forbidden, I don't deserve to cry
I've just brought shame and disappointment and agony and anger
I've no right to be sad when it's my own ******* fault
I just can't move when I **** up every time I do

Absolutely beautiful,
coming down, elegance flowing graciously,
harmoniously.
I'm jubilant, keep leaving my noose on pretty quaint Sycamores.
Trust, under vows, with xeroflulogitis.
You.

-Zee

I just want to know you're **mine.

It's been eons (no, days) since I described to her how much I love you, how much you mean to me.
It's been forever (no, maybe a week) since I told her I think I'm in love with you.

You don't even have to say anything, I'm content with your breathing,
because sometimes it still sounds like hope.
I could trace the fissures in your bones and count the stars in your eyes and I still wouldn't believe an earthquake like you brought me so close to home.
I want to lie by your side and take dumb pictures that will only show my face because you're too embarrassed to show yours and I'm too proud to not show you off.

I think your kisses probably taste like forever.

I don't know which seems further-
the distance in miles, or months?

You're so far away,
and it might seem cliche,
but I'll walk to you if I have to
if it means that you're okay-
and,
three years isn't that bad, right?
If I just keep talking to you at night
it'll be easy to pretend that
maybe we're both doing alright...

You know, you mean the world to me.
I don't even have to try to rhyme for you anymore
(seriously, those were accidents),
it just comes pouring out.
I can't wait for the day that I can kiss you and say,
"Hey, bb. We made it."

I think I've fallen already,
because I keep waiting for you to pull away,
and just the thought of that has me crippled.

We found each other in the crevices of our hearts.

Monday,
starting the week with a kiss good morning and the scent of breakfast blend in the air.
No time for eggs, we'll settle for Eggos and Poptarts.
A hurried goodbye and meaningful promises to return soon.

Tuesday,
waking up late,
****,
going in in a rush, no time for a shower,
quick kiss and we're out the door.

Wednesday,
traffic is crazy, no break today.
In a hurry to get back home.

Thursday,
leftovers again, really wanting to spend all day together,
only cuddling close at night.

Friday,
longer with the promise of an enjoyable presence tonight.
A romantic comedy, maybe,
some homemade spaghetti and a glass of wine,
relaxing into each other's curves late into the evening.

Saturday,
No time to rest, so many plans been made,
maybe dropping by IHOP and laughing at the complicated orders.
Hanging with family or friends, visiting the city,
coming home and getting warm, playing games and feeding the cats.
Gentle teasing making the night right.

Sunday,
Brushing the hair out of your face and laughing because we woke up at noon.
Making a big breakfast because we'll feed ourselves and our friends, assuming we ever leave the house.
Spending most of the day lazing around and watching cheesy horror movies, yelling at the protagonists for being stupid, making a big dinner to last us the week
and accidentally saying "good morning" instead of "goodnight" because it's past our bedtime and we're closer to the weekend.

A life of love,
because we have each other.

I haven't told anyone that I'm scared of getting close to you because I'm just waiting for you to leave.
Nine-year-olds should not be wielding knives,
but you started years ago.
You're capable of so much. So many good things.
You're a singer, a musician, a dancer, an athlete. You've got eyes so blue the sky is jealous.
Things aren't alright here, and I wish you would learn to take it,
but at the same time, I don't want you to be like me...

I've already lost one brother.
Please don't let me lose the other one.

It's usually pretty easy to forget how much of a kid I still am.
I'm only eighteen, ****, why should I feel older?

I laugh when I stumble and before I know it
I'm usually picking myself up and speaking in chatplay (falls over and dies).
I have 69 followers and the fact always makes me grin.
I can't help but glance at your face and whisper to myself,
*"You make my heart go *doki doki."

I'm too weak to admit that I'm not enough for you.
I hate my inability to dry your tears and be there when you need me.
If nothing else, I just want to be able to turn
your every frown into a smile bright enough
to put the sun to shame.
Maybe you could cure fatal diseases with that laugh of yours.

I just want you to be happy,
for us to float amongst the stars together and travel the galaxy
with our fingers twined and squeezing
and our words trailing comets.

Just smile, baby.

I'm bleeding horizons into the carpet with every ideal I can't obtain.
Oxygen catching in my throat, my lungs don't want it anymore.
You left me heaving promises into thin air and holding myself up on a chair with a missing leg.
Who are you to tell me what I don't want?

I'm not scared of you. (I'm terrified.)

I can walk this earth alone and confident. (Will you catch me when I stumble?)

Tripping over my own tearstains is an accident I've grown used to,
but outsiders still think it odd...
Who would've known to be afraid of themselves?

I want to hold you.
I want our breathing to synchronize and our hearts to beat in the same rhythm while our eyes stay locked and the only thing running through our minds is love.
I want to squeeze your hand and twine our fingers together and feel your pulse when our wrists touch.

I want to show you the house I grew up in and introduce you to my family.
I want you to step foot in that apartment and touch the walls and understand why I can call it home.
I want to take you to my backyard and hear your laughter fill the air while my dogs cover you in kisses because, ****, you're something special.

I want to visit your hometown and learn of everything that means something to you.
I want to meet your brother and thank him for holding onto someone so amazing.
I want to  hear the confidence in your voice when you introduce us to your family and press my lips to your forehead so you know how proud I am of your bravery.

I want to explore the world with you and create memories only we can share.
I want to wake up every morning with your breath on my skin and stroke your hair while I think of how lucky I am.

I want you.

This is my final part in our game of
Tug of War.
I guess we'll talk again
when she stabs you in the back.

I remember being young and thinking I was alone in the universe.
I remember being old and touching your chest and feeling your heartbeat
and knowing that I was just a dumb kid once upon a time.
I remember this chaotic cycle of desire and apathy
and how stars used to form from the heat between us.
I remember crying out in the night and getting a call back
and hearing a prayer whispered to the dark for protection over the light.
I remember me.
I remember strangers and curfews and hushed toxins and passion.
I remember youth and innocence and a grip so tight it knocked the wind out of me and pushed the word love past my lips.
I remember you.

Despair, despair, despair.
This world's without a care.

Nah, I won't do some dumb rhyme,
I'm just here to get my thoughts out.
I've got to worry about money, love, health...
It isn't enough just making it out of bed today.
I've got all these dreams, passions, ideals,
and no way to actually reach them.
Sure, it'd be fun to live apart from everyone.
Sure, I wouldn't mind falling in love.
Sure, everyone wants a job.

If only self-confidence and physical and mental capabilities were achievable
and anxiety wasn't my best friend.

She hurt me and you didn't say a word.
I suppose nobody really cares, at this point.

I tore a hole in my chest and realized
I never even had a heart, anyway.

In the end, I have learned one thing:
Do not give your soul to a single (non)living being,
or,
do not expect to survive when that being is gone.
I warped my mind into believing that you (and I) were forever
and I am acknowledging that there is no such thing as a soul mate,
just a disappointment.

**** you and your conscious actions,
eliciting dreary moans from an already enervated alias.
you, who once exhilarated me,
now the cause of my exasperation,
will one day be the most glorious cause
of my most hideous downfall.
can i name your shortcomings, at least?
one, you take too long to make me cry.
two, no one ever told you to be so ******* quintessential.
three, can i hold your hand? no, it is too faultless on its own, i shant sabotage your look.
four, your facade is growing tired. make a new one. i like the expressions that dance on your face.
five, you knit your brows in a way that resembles a calf.
i cannot express more than five-

oh, hell, were those even flaws...?
**** you and your olive flesh
(so smooth, as if ivory)
and your cocoa eyes
and your coffee-stained teeth
and the way you praise God
as if you actually know Her

I want to be able to express my feelings for you,
but I'm not so sure how,
nor am I sure that you care.
I lack the ability to write well when I'm not drowning in my depression.
What do I say other than "I love you?"

How can I tell you that you can be what I look forward to most?
How can I tell you that when I wake up I check my phone to see if you've messaged me?
How can I tell you that the mere thought of you is enough to make me smile and that sometimes you're all I ever want and that I hope heaven sounds like the smile in your voice when you tell me goodnight?
How can I tell you that I wouldn't be able to live without you?

Maybe I'll find a way eventually.

I am not strong, nor will I ever be.
I am not pretty, or confident,
intelligent, or witty,
or even very considerate.
I can barely take care of myself.

If it makes you feel safe, though,
or keeps you alive a while longer, with a healthy smile on your face,
then I will try to be all of those things, and then some.

I'm sorry for the rollercoaster,
but I'm not sorry for my feelings,
and maybe we'll work out someday.

This mare will not heed-
she was meant to succeed!
Power on, don't let your confidence waver,
tomorrow may bring something greater!

Maybe together we could fool
ourselves into thinking we're happy.

This thumping in my veins is a constant reminder that I'm alive
and, I wonder,
When did that fact start making me sad?
I've stopped wondering when my smiles are and aren't genuine
because I know a broken soul isn't worth grinning about.

I thought I'd be happy, or even sad, about his slow departure from me,
but I still don't feel a thing,
and my impenetrable armor has never made me laugh so much.
It wasn't unexpected.

You're not even leaving
and we're still not daring to breathe,
because it's impossible to look one another in the eyes
when we're too busy staring at the cracked ground.

I've pushed everyone away and it's just a matter of time before the atmosphere breaks and gravity gives up and they're all gone for good.

If I understood your mind
I'd still think I was a lie.
I've no reason to think of you,
but, my brain is curious,
so, here you are.

Come walking with me down this dreary boulevard
and tell me about the shadow you cast
(I'd love to get to know him).
I'll hold your hand and play with your fingers
and we can pretend we aren't thinking similar thoughts
by trapping one another in predetermined memories.

You told me you could tell the sky, "Goodnight,"
and the earth would whisper, "Good morning."
Home always felt like your coffee breath stirring the hair in my face
and your hand gripping mine when I strayed too far.

You asked me what I thought of God and I said she was beautiful
and you placed a kiss on my cheek, pressed your scarred palms to mine, and told me,
"Yes she is."

When I told you I was scared you told me that demons are everywhere but angels are immune.
I felt better.

Winter was never cold with you around.

Bury me in the ocean of my tears,
please-
or, at least drown me in it.
I've grown so dependent it's pathetic
and I'm walking circles in inquiries
pretending to figure out what to do next.
Your love, her approval, their eyes-
I don't think the events of my childhood are the reasons I'm on these ******* pills.

Here's to another night hoping there won't be another morning,
and to another tear-stained pillowcase.

The blinds are so heavy,
she's wondering if there's reason in any attempt to keep them open anymore.
It's easy to shut out the sun,
and even easier to regret it... right?

She gave up dreaming long ago-
the nightmares are more vivid now.

Fire is wicked
and my heart's set aflame-
over the water, no less,
it's an effortless game:

I win, you lose,
and we play again,
it's no matter of what we choose-
it's how we grow akin
to shadows, long, and days, so dreary
you'd think our wrongs were growing weary
(they aren't).

What a shame, this game
without an ounce of fame to your name;
but mine's a-shine, and I am fine,
and you still lie your head by mine.

I'm beginning to wonder if it's a nightmare or a wish...

I once told myself that I was strong.

Lo and behold, it was a lie-
of course, I didn't know that then.
Very few people are capable of admitting
everything is not alright.

You came along when I was broken, bent
out of shape,
unfixable- and you're still here.

I miss the way you feel
and I want you to love me.

I miss your absence
and I want you to crave me.

I miss your presence
and I want you to kiss me.

I miss your friendship
and I want you to tell me.

I miss the way you held me
and I want you to **** me.

Is it still a sin if you say it's love?

I.   I think only some people are meant to walk this earth.

II.   I am not one of them.

III.   You are fit to be a queen- for the dead, and for the lost.

IV.   Winter doesn't feel as cold as your palms.

V.   I want to spend every night beside you, and every day away from you.

VI.   When I turn on the radio, I want to hear your voice.

VII.   I don't like love songs because they make me think of your eyes.

VIII.   I sing to you in the shower.

IX.   My heart isn't capable of beating alone.

X.   I'm good at leaving you behind.

If you told me God crafted you in Her image,
I would go to church on Sundays.

I have never been sad.

Tearstains are nothing but memories of heartache
and I want to forget everything.

If I could love you,
and grace your lips with my touch,
without force,
would the notion be reciprocated?

I used to wonder what it felt like
to be a bird:
I am constantly trapped in a cage of my emotions.

My song knows no sweetness.
I am a Siren.
I am broken without sorrow
and sing only of those cold nights
that lack your presence.

Missing you is regretful.

I have always been destructive.

Sleep has avoided me for hours
and I'm sorry about my feelings for you.

For wanting someone who hasn't
a single degree of romantic inclination towards me;
My best friend, of all people.
Maybe it's my fault that you're flawed enough to be the one thing
I need the most,
a downpour during a drought,
and I'm sorry for that,
too.

I just can't help myself
when it comes to loving you.

I really want you to love me.
Or maybe it's just 3:33am.

If I take your hands into my own,
quivering,
and tattoo your skin with kisses,
passionate,
do you think you'll fall in love with me?

There's no regard for your feelings when my heart is in charge.
"You feel the same!"
It's a lie we let me live with.
I'd be okay with going into cardiac arrest over you, anyway.  

My brain thinks you're magnificent-
or perhaps horrendous...
Nonetheless, you seldom leave my mind.
I've considered purchasing another mattress
(my heart wants to know if we can share it).

O, You,
who stole my heart so long ago...
Where are you now?
I need you more than ever.
Maybe if we stay up together I'll forget
what makes me tremble at night,
and you can finally say
that someone got you something
for your birthday...