I’m sorry to my younger self
For not taking care of you
For not standing up for you when getting teased
For not being strong when you needed me the most

I’m sorry for giving you bad thoughts
Bad memories
Bad feelings
Sorry for when I said I hated you and wish you didn’t exist
Sorry for making you feel like a failure
I’m sorry for everything I put you through over the years

I promise you everything will be ok
And that I will always be by your side no matter what
It’s ok to cry
And it’s ok to get angry
I don’t ever want you to feel the need to be strong even when you don’t want to again
It’s the hardest feeling to go through
Trust me we did it for four years

It’s ok the be yourself
It’s definitely ok to say no to people
Your one year from turning 20 and it think it’s time for you to be free

I wish I could travel back in time and ask you a couple questions
I have some things I want to tell you also but that’s for another dark night

I want to make you happy
I want to make you proud
But you have to know that it will take time
I am not perfect
I will **** up like I always do
But I promise I won’t give up on us
I love you
And I mean it this time

I hate that I can’t sit up straight
I hate that I can’t properly do my hair
I hate that I’m not skinny
I hate that I don’t have the perfect voice
I hate that I’m shy
I hate that I have tiny lips
I hate that I have a learning disability
I hate that I don’t have the closet that I want
I hate that I failed my drivers test
I hate that I get really bad anxiety to the point I have trouble breathing
I hate that I can’t make friends
I hate that I have anger problems
I hate that I have to get up every morning and live my daily life
I hate everything that I’m going though
I hate that I said I forgive you and wanted you to be happy when I didn’t
I hate that I can’t talk about what’s going on in my head to the people close to me
I hate that I constantly remind myself of how much I’m a failure
I hate that I think of places that I can’t afford to go to
I hate that I don’t cry at funerals
I hate that I still have to be treated like a child even tho I’m 18
I hate that I’m so ******* nice to people
I hate that I care about my dog more then I care about myself
I hate that I constantly remind myself of you and what happened
I hate that I still try to convince myself that I love you even tho I don’t, not one bit.... I think
I hate that I have to end this with the last sentence saying how I hate myself