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Jason Jan 2021
"I look like a melting gargoyle when I cry."

She laughed, like wind-chimes in sunlight, soothing and warm. She replied, "You don't have to show me."

"Will this really work? I feel silly."

"Well you won't know unless you try, now will you?" She smiled.

"Okay, okay. Like this?" I asked, crossing my hands over my chest.

"Kinda," She reached out and adjusted my hands slightly, "Like that, gently, like you're holding a baby bird against your heart."

She let go of my hands and floated backwards a pace, watching me encouragingly.

Still feeling silly, I tried to clear my mind, while remembering her instructions;

Focus, stay relaxed...

OK.

Think of hope, I told myself, and as I did I began to bring my cupped hands down away from my chest and hold them facing the sky.

"*******!" She exclaimed, leaning in, her face alight with - something.  

I started to lower my hands, thinking as I do, that she was poking fun.

Her face fell, and her hands shot out like lightning, gently bracing my hands and preventing me from lowering them. "Don't be shy," she smiled softly.

I looked up into her eyes, wary, but her face showed only concern.  I looked down again, ashamed of my reaction, and she ducked her head to maintain eye contact.  "You're a squirmy one, aren'cha?"

I felt my face flush, but I laughed, despite my anxiety.

She nodded towards my hands, "Don'cha wanna know what I see?"

I saw nothing. "Sure," I said, trying not to sound skeptical.

Apparently I failed because she let out another peal of chiming laughter.  She seemed to sober a bit, without losing her carefree smile and leaned in a bit more closely.  She peered into the bowl formed by my cupped hands like it was filled with stars instead of empty air.

She remained like that for what seemed an eternity.  I held as still as I could, awaiting her judgment.  She straightened and looked at me, very seriously.  Her face was not hard, exactly, it was like a waterfall that had just stopped falling, all trace of humor was gone.

"Why are you ashamed of me?" She asked softly, no anger or hurt, just concern.

"I..." I didn't actually know how to answer.  I thought for a moment, the both of us standing there, with her holding my hands like a fortune teller.

"I think I have just been convinced, over and over, that I should be." I said somberly.

"Silly boy," she replied, her face once again alive with that same ephemeral light.  "Don't you know?  People will tell themselves all kinds of things when they're hurting.  Don't you go and let hurt steal your hope, your light!"  

I hung my head a bit, somewhere, deep down, I did know.

She shook her head slightly, and smiling a bemused little smirk, she glided closer.  With her left hand she began to push my hands back up towards my chest, and brought her right hand around to cup the back of my neck, simultaneously drawing our foreheads together.

Her eyes drifted nearly closed, as if she was falling into a trance, and as my hands reached my chest she whispered something I could not quite understand.

I saw it first in her eyes, a faint glow, and as she finished her short silent prayer the tiny glow flared into uproarious brilliance!  The blinding light suffused us, filling my vision with blue/white fire.  

Hope's warm countenance floated before me now in the heart of a star, and just before I awoke, I realized that the light was coming not from her eyes, but from beneath my cradled hands.
©01/29/2021 Jason R. Michie All Rights Reserved

I had previously tagged this short story with "dreams" so it would show up under that tag, but I don't want people to get the impression this was an actual dream.  Just a story.  Keep Hope alive! <3  :)
Jason Jan 2021
Love is bitter from age and neglect
Chains to bear breaking my back
Eyes deceive, thoughts betray
Tongues lie, souls decay
Words, like fire, torture and burn
Fire is soothing, pain must be earned
Ears distrust like lifeblood flows
Time is unending, destructive, and slow
©1994 Jason R. Michie All Rights Reserved

Ok, I lied, maybe ONE more throwback!
Jason Jan 2021
Standing outside looking in,
Running circles with the wind.

Lose the self I've never known,
Chasing light that's never shown.

Forever rise to no avail,
Rusted, bent, and brittle mail.

The rising sun breaks on eager round,
It's dying screams release no sound.

This sadness might pass me by,
If I was ever left alone to cry.
©1998 Jason R. Michie All Rights Reserved

Ok, last throwback, for now lol
Jason Jan 2021
Darkened dioramas seen through fading sight,
Wistful shadows of tormented light.

Twilight sifting through waking dreams,
Leaving me bare and clutching at seams.

We once flew on high with spirits of air,
We made light with the sun without a care.

Now I live only at night, sleeping through life,
Disgusted by struggle and sickened by strife.

Living for death but only dying my hair,
Heaven cancelled for the rain in the air.

So I gather my strength and I wish for the power to heal,
But when I give her my heart she says the magic just steals.

I've traded my eyes for a vision of sight,
And traded my soul for a photo of light.
©1997 Jason R. Michie All Rights Reserved
Jason Jan 2021
Song of love, twisted by welling darkness.

Vengeful art, practiced with vicious subtlety.

The softest lips whispered the hardest lies.

She exhaled an evocation of ethereal dreams,

Whose only prophecy was eternal sorrow.
©1996 Jason R. Michie All Rights Reserved
Jason Jan 2021
I am not inconstant,
But forever evolving,
Not closed off,
But not always open.
I expose my heart
Only when the sky darkens.

I build toothpick-towers,
Tantalizing torments
Taller than trees.
Chateaus of cards
Whose hallowed halls
Visitors seldom peruse,
And even more rarely see.

Young and foolish and bold,
Thoughts all over the place,
I spoke like a shotgun.
My opinions explosions
Verbal projectiles
Going off in your face.

I lived life by moments,
I existed only then,
Only there.
Motivated by love, yes,
But also by pain
And by fear.
Each memory
Of each moment
Represented
By each fallen tear.

Now older and wiser
-That's either a laugh or a sin
Haunted might be more apt-
I find I write
Too close to the skin.
A subtle blade,
Flirting, teasing,
Razors edge longing to dive in.
Vampiric voracity
Obscured by imperfect opacity,
Seeking the vitality within.

Yet,
What ****** force
To unleash?
What uncouth beast
Would I be?
Devouring
Ravenous,
That which sustains me?

Better to starve,
To choke on dust,
Than to make that first ****.
Dooming myself
To an eternal enmity
Against my own will.

I've heard it said that
Wisdom is the product
Of suffering and time.
But what dear cost,
What dire punishment,
When youth is the crime?
So I'll try to balance the scales
With love and lessons learned,
And relinquish remorse to rhyme.
© 01/26/21, © 02/09/21 Jason R. Michie All Rights Reserved
Jason Jan 2021
Silence can be an impassable shield,
Or an effortlessly piercing spear, 

Barricaded behind this bulwark,
One can strike without fear. 
 
Assaulting these stony crenellations,
Any enemy is made the fool, 

Stones and arrows fall lifeless,
But beware this entropic tool. 
 
Smelted in fires of wrath,
Forged by hammers of pain, 

Tempered in a bath of mistrust,
Sharpened by challenge refrained...
 
It leeches hope, returning nothing,
Depleting both meaning and life. 

Equally capable of smothering the self,
As it is of stifling strife. 
 
Leaving warriors trapped in their castles,
Battlefield abandoned, bodies tossed, 

Besieged by a war of attrition,
That can neither be won nor lost.
© 01/09/21 Jason R. Michie All Rights Reserved
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