Joshua Krueger

Joshua Krueger Oct 2017

Rain reminds me of all the tears
I'm too afraid to shed
And all the times I rejected you
By closing my heart and head.
You're there no matter what I say even when what I said-
Might have made you wish that you hadn't died in my stead.
But all the same,
Through thick and thin
You came back time and time again
And that is why I ask forgiveness for my failures and my sin.
I can't do this on my own
So help me to remember
That when I fall and break my heart-
Your love is great, your eyes are bright,
Your embrace is calm and tender.
So let it rain and let me cry.
Take away my fear so I-
Can learn to trust in who I am.
In who I am
In you.

So, yeah. Cutting straight to the chase here- I'm a Christian, and although that can mean a lot of different things these days, I'm sticking to the title. Largely, because "Christian" without "Christ" is just "Ian" and my name is not "Ian." Apologies to any "Ian's" reading this. It's not that I don't like your name, I just think that taking the creator out of the creation is kind of an arrogant thing to do. Anyway- I wrote this as a sort of prayer. I've always struggled with finding my identity in who people around me say I am, sometimes even who I say I am. The truth is though, that I am nothing without the God who has made me holy and righteous in His sight. I am not who I think I am. I am not who you tell me I am. I am who God says that I am. Even when I treat God like crap, He's still there, and He's still good. I still have to deal with the consequences of my actions, but God still love's me. That's my belief. It may be unpopular, but I still believe it. Feel free to message me for more information about my personal beliefs. I'd love to talk to you.

#identity #rain #tears #god #prayer #christian #thereisnodenyingit #llamasarejustawesome

Joshua Krueger Oct 2017

Powers Of Ten

little as i am--
there are things smaller still
but as I think this through
My Cranium Grows LARGER
AS BIG AS I AM--
I AM STILL
small

I had just watched this (Powers Of Ten to "The Glitch Mob" - "Fist Full of Silence"): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iIvYYxb6rZ8. Yup. That's about all I have to say here...

#powersoften #ten #power #punyhuman #bighead

Joshua Krueger Oct 2017

The Lumberjack's Epitaph

I saw
the forest--
--for the
trees.

So this is one of those cliches I was mentioning in my last poem's notes, but I came up with a title that gave it a double meaning. I don't know... I thought it was clever, but originality is dead. Creativity, however- Is very much alive. I've always wanted to put this on a shirt, but never got around to it. If you do- Let me know so I can buy one!

#lumberjack #epitaph #clever #atleastithoughtso #maybenotsocleverafterall #ehh #nevermind

Joshua Krueger Oct 2017

Heart Is Where The Home Is

If home is where the heart is
And you find yourself on the streets
I’d be glad to break my heart in half
So that you could have a piece

I’ll give you my whole guest room
It’s down the hall from my arteries
I’ll give you food and oxygen
Even take a house key if you need

I hope that you enjoy your stay
And accept my offerings
I don’t care when or where you go
Just so long as you don’t leave

My mind is a repulsive place
You might be better off on the street
Than swimming through my synapses
And believing what you see

The world outside my beating heart
Is more dangerous than you think
So please leave good enough alone
And promise not to leave

Finding out the truth about
Who I claim to be
Could end up being worse for you
Than it ever was for me

Nevertheless I’d dare to love
You are so dear to me
But no matter what you’d do or say
I would never set you free

My blood type is B negative
And no matter what I do
I’ll never be an optimist
Or anything like you

I’m offering you a part of me
So now you have to make
A choice to enter my home and take my heart
Or choose to let it break

So if I give you this bit of myself
I’ll need you to promise me
Not to stray too far from home
Or ever try to leave

I'm not quite sure what I was going through at the time that I wrote this one, but I had just received a book full of idioms and cliches. It was the perfect writing prompt for me. I'd take a cliche and turn it around like a puzzle piece until the fire of a deeper meaning was ignited in my mind. Anyway, this was me writing about how sometimes we hurt the ones we love most by keeping secrets. My mind is a place I often consider forbidden grounds due to the nature of the thoughts therein. Unfortunately, I often forget that when I follow my heart blindly, I lose sight of what's really important. So, yeah. I guess what I'm trying to say is that you shouldn't follow your heart without consulting the truth first. In my case- my heart is deceitful above all else and blindly following it will get me nowhere good really quickly.
Side note- B-Negative is actually a real blood type! Who knew?

#heart #home #love #blood #negative #broken #fear #darkness

Joshua Krueger Oct 2017

The Glass Half Had

glass half empty or half full?
why do we even ask at all?
all this thinking takes its toll
on our society of analysis
anti-action and paralysis
it really is a dangerous thing
overphilosophizing i mean
we've fallen victim to the allure
of thinking that we can cure
anyone anything and or any problem
with enough thinking tinkering and or solving
but truly there's really got to be
more to cure the modern malady
of paradoxes and dichotomies
and meta-epistemologies
we've come too far for us to merely be
just because i think we think
if i can really only see
what's standing right in front of me
once it's gone to the periphery
then i'm positive that we'll all have been
over inacting and underachieving
for far far too long

we think too much and do too little
it's not like it's a test or a riddle
we write creeds and manifestos
but there's no credence manifested
if we don't give precedence
not to kings queens or presidents
but to becoming a society-
a people who won't go quietly
whose thoughts and bright ideas
suddenly begin to coalesce
into lives being lived
to the absolute fullest
we need something more
we need a paradigm shift
made from something much more sure
than a philosopher's two cents
but if we don't act now
if we procrastinate and wait
our dreams will just be dreams
and tomorrow will be too late
so then-
if you don't mind
instead of stopping just to analyze and think
i think i'll take that half of a glass
and maybe take a drink

I was had been awake for 32 hours when I wrote the initial draft of these letters on a page. I had just lost (yet another) job and had realized that I couldn't stop thinking. They say guys have the unique ability to think about nothing- but I've never been able to accomplish that feat. So anyway- I took the overflow of my firing synapses and spilled my thoughts onto a page. When I write, I find that I can think about anything and not be stressed or overly emotional about it, as opposed to keeping it bottled up in my mind. So, yeah. Stop thinking. Start doing.
A side note- I don't drink. The most alcohol I've ever had was probably when I accidentally swallowed some mouthwash...

#thought #thinking #action #inaction #apathy #glass #full #empty #missingthepoint

— The End —