Always known my nature
But I long for balance
An intellectual creature
Something beyond talent

...sweet ...n ....sour?
...My Power
It's how Im built
My galaxy is on a steady tilt
And my intentions have a meaning

Yet, there's Galaxies beyond mine
And A Source of ALL
The highest point you can find
Alone?
Not at all.

Interconnectivity
Like, how bones connect joints!

MyThoughtsOfYou

I miss you
I want you
I cant let you go
God made no mistake
Note: Its now 6am, been up since 4...
Im so tired but these thoughts of you keep me up at night. I really hate feeling like this.
I loved you! So much!
I still do.
I know I dont know you but if it was partly lust to begin with why does 'knowing' you matter anyway...
We vibed. Your energy is how I remember you...
Im not saying thats the way to find someone in this cruel world but it is no doubt one way... desperate times call for desperate measures.
You were too good to me and I couldn't just pass you up!
I did the best I could for the darkness I had escaped! You were my heaven! my light.
I did become frightened.
I just didnt believe It was real!
Can you really blame me? You treated me so well!
I was so afraid to loose that especially unexpectedly so I choose to loose it when I was ready instead...
it makes me cry to think... I did that!!!!! WHY? why?
Sorry if you dont like my thoughts or me reliving the pain... Im just so hurt. thanks for reading... please forgive me... you are a beautiful!!! You deserve Justice ... you really do! I miss u
im sorry too

I am one, a particulate suspended
in an infinite collection of
breathing stardust
alone standing on
earthly surfaces.

And you are the life I began
to understand in the poetry of
your words that I long to
**** in and inhale for the rest
of this illusionistic superficial reality.

Where did it start but by one little cry,
one mother's love, one day she will die

Trees grace the land, the water at peace
Visually astounding, pleasant at ease

The lake was open for summer time fun
Camp Crystal Lake where it begun

A boy and his mother greeted each soul,
welcome my friends enjoy it all.

The torment started, it lasted all season,
they beheaded his mother for all the wrong reasons

Emboldened with fury, deep in the lake
drowned by cowards, feeling no shame

Each year they returned, hearing stories of the camp
the man in the mask, machete in hand

Not believing the myth, what shadows do lurk
no hearts will be pounding, only their blood will spurt

Pre-marital *** upstairs in the cabin
rolling blunts on couch, look out, he's coming

Naked in the shower, Alice did fall,
ice pick in hand, no scream or no crawl

Squeezing your eyes out or smashing your face
Ask all of the counselors at Camp Crystal Lake

One hundred and fifty more victims will fall
This is my place, you are not welcome at all

Mother, I love you, through all of the pain
Hide behind my mask, my machete does reign.

Somebody wrote for me
A brilliant work of art;
His poetry

The words came from his heart; blue abyss
Validation of greatness
Authentically cautious
Because he actually meant it
Then, now and When; was Sighted and Referenced

Epitome of a promise
His mind a weapon;
Logic
Look how I done him
His love is diamonds;
Ultimate

Articulates yet also shown
I will remain loyal to him and him alone.
Otherwise,
I'll stay a lifetime behind
my way
As he's forced to see me decay

Only until I met him did I see through the eyes of another how true self value really looked like when applied in reality.
I started to to understand how loving yourself or another actually looked like.
The feeling of LOVE was overwhelming and ecstasy compared to before love became so clear.
I had a misunderstood notion that being beautiful on the outside would bring me love.
I thought that I was loving myself outwardly appearing flawless.
Later I learned that I had only found a half truth.
So I began searching for the whole truth but first I had to tear all the pieces of my life apart to sort through and find each one of its meanings.

My whole life was in pieces when God himself appeared as a man who spoke truth and displayed love yet disguised with flaws for 1000 lifetimes.....
You see, before I was using my ego to love myself and gauge how much love to dispense on others based on ego as well.
The reason using ego is not effective and scary is because it is worldly and very temporary always needing maintenance and attention.
It is also fear based.
So you then love out of fear essentially. It is a common mistake because ego masks itself as  being strong and unbreakable but when you wipe off the pounds of make-up or take off the Karats of gold you are weak! Temporary.