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 Mar 2015 Jessica
stéphane noir
to my darling who feels she's not:
our separation is mere illusion.
truly, your pain strikes me as i write this;
your sensations of abandonment,
and the decisiveness they have caused,
bleed from my skin into the fibers of my clothes.
i am no longer clean.
i do not feel pure.

to my severed arm and shortened tendons:
destruction is merely another side of life.
out of disappearance comes all things-
without space, there would be nothing to contain us,
nothing to allow and enfold our beings' spirits,
and they would sputter and cease like my love's flame.
i am no longer yours.
i do not feel full.

to the farthest star that my eyes can see:
your light reaches me- i glimpse you!
in the perceived emptiness between us
there is no distance to be found;
around us exists the infinite potential for
further connection and deeper growth in closeness.
i am no longer alone.
i do not feel sorrow.
I know the pain you feel is deep,
your want from life is simple peace.
And though I cannot guarantee,
please listen closely, as I speak.

Presently you stroll alone,
searching for a hand to hold.
You feel your sorrow in your bones,
in harshest sun, you still feel cold.

Pre - dawn, however, is darkest night
that must be followed by morning light.
I pray you won't give up the fight,
the universe will set things right.

I know at times, it seems unclear
that happiness is always near.
But wholly I believe my dear,
someday soon, you'll find some cheer.
you came out rosie
and turned to blue

shots to immunize...
shocked the health out of you..

sharp corner called
your toddlers tender lip

invincible, you flew  
shoulder met earth
half way round  
hard into the cold ground

meningitis settled in
lymes not far behind
both with fevers and
lots of tears...thought we
might lose you at 9

3 concussions within 2 years
being pulled off the hill
snow packed up to your ears
                      
daddy went to prison
anguish and pain
forced your decision
To become so thin

running through corn fields
dazed and confused..
up for 3 days, don't 'member
what'd been done to you

boyfriend deals..big guy in town
love him so much
you go down..
2 federal offenses..is he still around?

attempted ****** and ****
left you damaged beyond
all so overwhelming
you look for ways to drown
anything to block the pain
you twirl round and round and round

got pulled back from
the edge last night.
a needle in your arm
announced dead till
policeman felt you warm...

Oh My Darlin
Oh My Sweet
Such a Beautiful Soul trying to
Fly Free
I Call to Your Perfect Self..
Come Back
Please Come Back
Please Come Back to Me**


Copyright © 2014 Christi Michaels
All Rights Reserved.
Beyond the Beauty Life holds for us All
There is no understandin' for Crazy Makin'
                It just is, what it is, what it is...
There is no formula to fix things so broke
                It just is, what it is, what it is...

There are no words to express,
when the shootin' starts and your the target.
All you can do is take cover and hope your
ear drums don't pop.
When you become the focus of all
disappointment and anger...
No way to rest in that.
No way to heal there. 
No way to breath comfortably any more...

Where do we find the strength to escape.
Put our blown up parts back together again.
What if we are too ****** and damaged
to connect the pieces.
How do you mend a heart ripped to shreads
I ask this....

What then,
What then... Cuz,
               It just is what it is what it is....


Copyright © 2014 Christi Michaels.
All Rights Reserved.
Crazy Makin'
Yes, I did enter
Willingly
Knowing myself
To Be...
Magical Strong,
An Exotic
Till the reflections back
Became all I could see

Stretched
Squashed 
Pulled sideways
Lost within
The House of Mirrors

This Distortion
Became my Reality
Stopped seeing the Self
I once knew to be true
Only Cracks
Faults 
Seem to show thru

It came to be
I began to believe
Distorted reflections
Looking back at me
It came to be
This Maze of Mirrors
Had finally swallowed Me

Till the Moment I Emerged
Seduced by Sound
Drawn to the Light
Sunshine and Warmth
Told the truth
Of my Being
This Place
Where I Matter
Possess Purpose
Grace

Have decided Now
That I''ve made it back
Made it back and
Found my way
Have decided
Now
That I have made
it back
This is where
I Choose to Stay


Copyright © 2014 Christi Michaels.
All Rights Reserved
When we get lost, it seems so hopeless, till we change our View. Choose to look out the "Good" Window
Today there was a
Tenderness
Been hidden for So Long

As if you Actually Saw Me
a Moment
Before You were Gone

You were Present
You felt Grounded
What you Expressed to Me

How I Wish this could Linger
Close as We Should Be

Been so Long
Since You
Have
Noticed

Been so Long
Since you Have
Wanted

Been so Long
Since you Have
Lovingly
Cast your Gaze
Upon Me

Copyright © 2014 Christi Michaels.
All Rights Reserved
Long term Marriages/ Comitttments,, can take there toll. The One you truly Love the most, can get lost in the hugeness of life and forget the gentlness so very essential, once shared with Thee.
I Wanna a Man that wants Me
Laying in his bed 
Soft curls nestled
just beneath his head
Long legs wrapped
'round Mine
holding me tight
Pulling us down into the
soft nest of night

In His strong soft arms I would lay
Till morning meets the misty break of day.

I Need a Man that loves the way
I smell, taste and breath
Cares for what I want
Considers what I need
Enjoys the way I form my thoughts
Listens to my dreams

I Wish a Man that accepts me
My peculiar ways.
treats like I am precious
In his strong arms I would Lay
Till morning kisses meet
The misty break of day

I Dream of a Man capable
accepting love from Me
Enjoys the way I touch His skin
Knows how Good things can be

Most of all I want a Man
That wants to be loved too
A Man that never
hesitates to say
"Woman, I Love You"


Copyright © 2014 Christi Michaels.
All Rights Reserved.
I Wanna Man
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