Going to sleep is the scariest thing.
Not because of nightmares
Or sleep walking or whatever else,
But because of the uncertainty.
The uncertainty that a new day will start,
That your life won't be significantly altered,
Or that your loved ones will be the same.

Normal people don't dread sleep though,
But there's just something about cancer
That makes sleep an uneasy task.
Having a mother with cancer will change your entire life.
From dreading the thing you cherished most,
To not knowing how to live your life.

You become used to being woken up for
Middle of the night treks to the ER.
And to think about becoming used to that
Well, that's enough to make you sick.
But you have no choice but to trudge through,
You have to seem strong and stable,
But going to sleep is the scariest thing.

Everything is so versatile,
I wait for hours for you,
To just talk for a while.

You have a half minute conversation,
And am left with eyes of tears and face with smile.
What if I could let you know of, without hesitation?

But you are someone's, not mine...
And one day with this schedule,
My darling, I'd be fine.

Though it hurts a lot, that everything you forgot.
But now, I love the symbol of my love, these tears brine...
They take away all the anger for you every moment.

And I am made to love you even more,
Even though, for you am a parallel line..
I bolt the door and spill my emotions on the floor...

Have you ever seen my condition through that peep hole?

I should've known
that when I fell in love in August
nothing good was to come.
August was never good to me
always left me uneasy
it brought cold nights & heavy sticky days
It was built from sad songs inspired by breaking summer romances

Today I gave my crush a flower,
because no one has ever done it for me.

But it shrank from the summer heat,
it fried in my back seat.

The rose was pink,
how my heart use to be.

Now it's black
burnt from fury.

I was once a romantic,
but now I just want somebody to go to bed with.

Time
It stops
When I'm with you

The clock
It slows
As I miss you

Forever
Too short
Now I know you