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  Jun 2015 Jennifer Stewart
Nicole Dawn
To make a poem is simple
All you need is

Nights of tears
A bit of blood
A lot of pain
A touch of peace
Heaps of feelings

All you need is

Pure exhaustion
Fear
Anger
Love
Sadness

All you need is

A whole load of
Emotion

Then when that explodes
Out of your body
You just need to somehow direct
All of it onto
A piece of paper

That's how you make poetry
Not that I would really know.... To all the true poets, I'm sorry, I don't mean to be cocky by assuming that I can write poetry. I know that I can't, I'm just trying to summarize how I write, no matter how bad it is
I'm not sick, i don't have an eating disorder and i'm not getting "too thin"

It's not like i lose a lot of weight.. Maybe 3-4 pounds a week.
But then i gain it back and lose a little more the next time.

My demons laugh, everytime i resist a piece of food.
They're proud of me, cause i'm still standing. Even after being empty for so long.

I'm not sick, i don't have an eating disorder, and i'm not getting "too thin"
I'm becoming a better me
  Jun 2015 Jennifer Stewart
Rj
You say you want to kiss me
And I'm sure you really do
But you only want to kiss me
So I can admire you
You don't love me at all,
Obviously you're with him
I'm tired of being someone to use
It's terrible. She only wants to kiss me to try. She doesn't love me. And while she kisses me she has someone to go home to, cuddle, love. But me, I have nothing
Jennifer Stewart Jun 2015
Funny how you were in love with me, but it only took you three days to get over me.
So tell me, did you ever really believe that we were soul mates?
I know i was the one to end it, but you were the first to move on.
The only difference is, i'm still in love with you, while you're finding comfort in another girl.
You were the first to delete the pictures, while i still have all of our memories saved on my phone.
It makes me wonder, if you ever really meant a single word that you said.
All the nights we stayed up until three am, planning out our future together.  
You told me i was the first and last person you would ever love.
That my friend, is where you told your first lie.
You can't tell me you didn't love the girl before me.
If that was the case, you wouldn't've stayed with her for such a long time
Know that i meant it every time i said i love you, every word i ever said to you was true.
I know i called it quits, but that doesn't mean i'm ready to get over you.
You made me write about happy things for the first time in my entire life, and i will always have you to thank for that.
I wish that i could still be your friend, because like you said, " i'm convinced that i will be in love with you until the day that i die, no matter the day, no matter the time"
-(j.s)
Jennifer Stewart Jun 2015
I don't even want to get out of bed,
Let alone go anywhere and spend time with my "friends"
It's not like i even have any, that is.
I had one person i could talk to throughout the day, but i went and messed that up so now I'm left on my own.
Being alone is never good for me, it either leads to one of two things.
Neither are good for me, one is just less deadly.
I've been doing some thinking and i've realized some things.
You were the only good thing left inside of me.
Now that you're gone i have no reason to try, i'll just let the voices come back into my life.
There's no reason to fight them off anymore.
Because honestly, who would even notice if was gone?
-(j.s)
  Jun 2015 Jennifer Stewart
no need
She loves being alone, she really does.
Does one truly enjoy solitude?
A word accompanied by such a dreadful, negative connotation?
She always claimed to be a loner by choice,
but was she really?
Did she really have a choice?
Or was it simply a mutual understanding,
that she was not wanted or cared for?
Alienation is simply a form of self-defence.
She shut her doors to save herself.
She loves being alone, she really does.
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