.
Once a little boy woke up scared,
crying and calling for his mother.
Once an adult man woke up scared,
crying and calling for his lover.

For the boy there is no answer,
his mother is just never there.
For the man there is no answer,
his lover being just thin air.

You see the little boy is now a man,
who only ever wanted to be loved.
The adult man was the little boy,
who only ever needs to be loved.

So put your arms around the child,
show him love and teach him joy.
And put your arms around the man,
remember, he really is just a little boy.


© Pagan Paul (28/01/17)

I hate doctors
My doll has a fever
I cut her hair
Polished her nails
She 'a Mahsa in my eyes anymore
It took a long time for me to get used to
my father's loose-fitting clothes
Suits don't wear clothes  
Hanging on cloth trees
Why they have no humans within ?!
I'm scared
Blue heavens
Passing of the golden suns
through my hair
Not having my earrings
Not having my sister's eyes
I'm talking about my father's bicycle
My little white was feet not
touching the pedals !!!
I was laughing
hating this city though spending
my childhood in it
hating my childhood
Making no difference...
I must laugh
when beaten
or fondled...


از دکترها خوشم نمی آید
عروسکم تب کرده
من موهایش را بریدم
برایش لاک زدم
...دیگر مهسا ندیدمش
خیلی طول کشید
تا به لباس گشاد پدرم عادت کردم
کت و شلوارها لباس نمی شوند
روی چوب رختی ها آویزان بودند
چرا آدم ندارند!؟
!!! من می ترسم
آسمان هایی آبی
گذر موهایم از خورشیدهای طلایی
گوشواره هایم را ندارد
چشمان خواهرم را ندارد
دوچرخه ی پدرم را می گویم
وقتی مرا روی آن می نشاند
پاهای سفید کوچکم
!!! به پدال ها نمی رسید
من آن موقع می خندیدم
از این شهر بدم می آید
با این که تمام کودکی هایم
در این شهر گذشته
از کودکی هایم بدم می آید
...فرقی نمی کند
من باید بخندم
وقتی کتک می خورم
...یا نوازش می شوم

The years are liars and they don't keep their word:
They promised me maturity,
But all I got was soft places where I should be firm.
They swore me wisdom,
But all I found was a different kind of foolishness.
They said I'd have new insights
But all I saw was how I miss the flowers of youth.

The years are untrue and make vows they don't intend to keep
They promised me contentment,
But all I received was a slower paced restlessness.
They told me I'd find fulfillment,
But all I've discovered is a bigger yearning.
They assured me these years would be golden,
But I can see through the veneer to the green beneath.

And I curse the days and weeks and years
For they lied to me and then ran away.
                                         vvv

I burnt down the metal cage
that confined me

I have broken up with God
and I am blossoming

without his hand pushing
my head down

I eat blackberries straight from
the bush

tasting the dirt where they grew
the tightest bud bursting

into fruit that nurtures me
that sustains me

I am Godless and cageless
I am a woman of

flames, starting fires
wherever I go

burning, burning, turning
into ash

into the very dirt I courted
with my purple stained

lips

How can you solve the needs of the world
When every window is a mirror
Reflecting only vistas of you.

How can you feel the pain of the hungry
When tail coated waiters serve you your meals
Hundreds of feet higher than the truck on the corner.

How can you embrace the common man
When you consider him covered in germs
Wanting a cheerleader more than a guide.

How will you acquire respect that’s not bought
When you function on a ten year old level
With a Junior High bully as your mentor.
         ljm

now where do I begin?
The beginning? Nah.
How about I start at the end?
The door that was slammed in my face.
The shouting and name calling and cutting, bruising words?
You know, the kind of thing that can't be taken back.
Yeah, let me start there because
everybody likes a sad story
and our story darlin', ours is the best.
It has love and love lost.
It has tears and ripped up love letters and "Get the **** out's"
It has me begging like a dog and you putting your fingers in your ears
Yeah, let's start the story at the end
because everybody likes a sad story
and ours is the best.