This empty page has potential like me,
To write the lines that tell a horrible tale
Or to depict the dark scene of the graphite terror

This empty page has no emotion
Which will I give it?
Which will show?

I'm no artist nor poet,
But a simple being who brings life onto this lonely page

This empty page is transparent as can be
The secrets I'll hide within the words and ink
The words I'll never speak, but cloak beneath the veil of lines and charcoal

This empty page is a fresh start,
Not yet stained with the mistakes of life,
No smudges nor failed words scar the white

I'm no wiseman, just a simple boy
Yet the dark on the page shock those around;
Makes them question what could've brought the black

This empty page is nothing but a story
With each one completed, another chapter is written
It's a story of the past frozen in the present

This empty page will be my legacy,
The greatness that it can be, awaits its creator to pour his soul
To fill the void with his damaged heart
And to show the scars he tries to hide

Call me queer, call me *******
But is my ****** life really that important to you?
I don't call you ****-cuffin, ***** eater, nor hetero freak
So why must I be insulted for my *** life while you remain unscathed?

Call me ****** all you want,
But let's be honest, my life isn't easy
But I'm still here
My heart still beats
I'm still strong

Call me fairy to your little heart's content
But answer me this, could your heart bare the abuse of every kind  for almost a decade?
Could your "holy" self withstand standing alone in the dark without so much as a friend?
I'm a "sinner" and I've withstood all those horrors and still came out strong

Call me a disgrace, an abomination, a freak
But answer this you pretentious *******,
Who's the one cursing people, condemning, hating, discriminating them for being nothing more than who they are?
That's right, you, not me
So think again, who's your god going to punish?
People who have done nothing wrong but be themselves?
Or the ignorant fools who think they are God and condemn others?

Call me ******, call me queer
I know who I am, and it's someone strong

Call me *******, call me fairy
I'm the one who will survive
Call me all you want,
It won't change who I am

What she asks for is something that she denied herself
With her slurred words, she sealed the doors
With every insult she got ****** into the darkness

My mind is a labyrinth, one that she desperately tries to decipher
With every bruise she makes a wrong turn
With every drop of crimson wine she falls into the black

Who she wants to know is someone who she pushed away
She doesn't know him, doesn't know that her flames become extinguished in his ocean of resentment

My heart is locked away and sealed, the key, something that must be earned
A key she frantically searches for
She tries to knockdown the walls, to make the door crumble
But her fists just make them all the stronger

When will she understand who she searches for is dead?
The undead left behind is unknown to her and she'll never know him because she can't **** him like she did with her son,
He's just a shell, a piece of battle armor brought to life

My life is not hers to command,
The boy who she seeks to dictate died,
I'm all that's left
And I will be in control of my life
Finally, ending her tyranny

Once upon a time I hid,
I would shy away into the shadows,
With a twinkle of light in my eyes
Once upon a time I would smile to the world with an innocent heart

I remember how all the pain, the hurt, the blame
Didn't weigh on my shoulders
How after every curse, every beating I'd continue to smile

Once upon a time I didn't hold hope, I was hope
In the raging sea of alcohol and darkness,
I was the lone island of innocence and strength

I remember now, when darkness first touched me,
The solitude came and became my friend,
Solitude and darkness
How when all were gone, my mask would fall to reveal corrupted innocence

Once upon a time I was innocent, naïve, happy and strong
Every blow and every day of abuse built my armor
Over time the light faded and like my heart, my eyes turned cold
Once upon a time, I was still human

I remember how my metamorphosis happened,
How instead of a beautiful butterfly I became a slithering viper
This isn't who I was, this is who I became
This isn't who I wanted to be, but who I had to be
Once upon a time this was all but a bad dream,
Once upon a time...

Love is tricky and difficult. It can be marvelous and heal all wounds, or it can create a canyon so vast in one that one falls into the dark abyss. Love may not always be reciprocated, but just to feel it is a lucky thing, to receive it an even more precious treasure. But to love a friend is to suffer the most, yearn the most, care the most, love the most.

Sorry pal, but nothing is forever. Not even the strongest of chains, eventually they fade and break apart. That's life. But to truly live life, you must learn to treasure the present and the pleasant memories it gives birth to, to live through the dark times when solitude wishes to choke the light out of you.

Tis sad to say,
Our love is wrong
What keeps us away
Is that I'm not strong

Spread your wings an fly away,
I hold nothing for you,
Don't you hear the words I say?
Leave now, before I hurt you too
Leave now, before you break away

Wishing someone would discover the broken pieces.
The demon you see hides his heart.
A bleeding ***** he wishes someone would heal.
He wants you to touch the bleeding flesh.
Won't you stitch together the falling pieces?
Won't you be the one to save this demon?

My pain is real
Its not a mirage of the mind
My scars do not lie
They scream the words that I am too weak to say

These open wounds you see,
They do not yell for attention,
No, they are a release
A gate away from this blistering agony

My tears shed are something rare to see
They reveal something long forgotten
A piece thought to have been lost

These words written,
Express a being thought to be dead,
A boy who I thought I killed many years ago
They hold the pain of the years endured and cried
They hold the broken pieces of my heart

I was hurting and crippled,
Crying as I mended my wounds.
The agony was immense and I nearly drowned
But then I found a new light.

You may have weakened me
But I found power amongst the pain and wreckage.
I found a life preserver in this sea of hate.

Don't apologize.
In the end you made me strong.
You helped me build this battleship.

Have I gotten better?
Or have my lies improved so much that even I get lost in them?

How can I say I'm happier,
If when the smiles are all gone only resentment and agony are left to boil,
To engulf me; they too have gotten stronger

Why so much inner turmoil?
Will one of these sides just die?
Good or bad, I don't care
Just wish for this war in my head to vanish

Can't I heal?
My body has sealed the gates of hell
And just left behind sliver tracks in their remain
Blood no longer rains so why does it hurt?

Won't someone save me?
I'm drowning, can't someone see?
If it's true and I'm in darkness grasp, I've been abandoned, left to my devices
Will I prevail?

It's hard to live a double life
You hide the true you
You deny who's trapped inside

Lie to ones of the present
Hide from the past
You slowly start to crumble

Living two lives tears at the soul,
You no longer know who you really are
Like the fading scars, you hide your heart

Smile at the ghost, but glare at the ones of flesh and bones;
Fighting soon led to hiding

You try to remain true
But soon you fall back to the blade
You try to be strong, but your tears give you away
You try to stay here,
But soon you're just another lie of the past

I hide many things,
Wear many faces
Which truth do you want to hear?
Which mask of mine do you wish to see?

Stitch my heart,
Hide the scars
Put on a smile
Forget the nightmares
And aim for a new start

Let me lick my wounds,
Self inflicted or not,
They weren't mine,
Given to me they were by the demonic sounds
They burn like the blade that will forever boil;
These silver scars are all I have left,
So let me lick my wounds,
The wounds of my heart

My eyes are a darker brown,
Soiled with the horrors of reality
Cold to the core

My eyes hide in shadows,
Weaving lies of secrecy as they plot my next route to safety,
They calculate every move

My eyes are intriguing
The color not simple to tell
Their intentions not easy to see

These eyes shed tears,
They fight them to no avail
These eyes hold a darkness to them
These eyes show the hurt of accumulated pain


These eyes only show a beautiful gold of fiery hazel when the light hits them,
They show beauty and potential that has been long forgotten
They show the innocence thought to be gone

My eyes are dark and cold,
These eyes are difficult to understand
My eyes are cold and cunning,
These eyes are misunderstood
My eyes show pain and agony,
These eyes show a potential of beauty

Love may be wonderful,
But it's always let me down

Once more on opposite sides we meet.
Oh dear and kind mother, ready to show your claws?
I'm prepared to bare my fangs.

We lie to one another as we do to the world.
What is it we want?
What is it we wish?
A straight son?
A loving mother?
Prepare yourself. I will not lose this war.

Oh dear and lovely brothers,
Come to side with the woman of lies?
Fall into her webs.
You're just another prisoner of her mental labyrinth.
You too soon will fall.
The abyss that awaits you, I have escaped.
Know this, brothers of mine,
You're in the middle of war.

Time for the end don't you think, mother dear?
This battle has waged for a decade now.
Why not finish the war?
Weave your lies and and traps.
You fail to acknowledge the power I gained.
While you lie to people,
My honesty has triumphed in the end.
With crowds of honest people; their gentle hearts backing me up,
Do you believe you're a match against me?

Sharpen your knives, strengthen your lies.
I'll plot my moves, set up the chessboard.
This is a battlefield.
This is our story.
It's time for this legacy to come to an end.
Only one will leave this battlefield in the end.

These tears they burn my eyes
These shallow breathes make it hard to breath
All because you couldn't learn to accept me,
Now I'm on someone's couch trying to get back on my feet

I now get panic attacks,
And now my heart screams in agony
It doesn't hurt that you can't love me,
It hurts that I had to hurt you so that I could leave with my life,
It hurts that I had to break your bones so you couldn't break my neck

Finally this nightmare is almost over,
I never wanted to be the bad guy, just to be your son
Now I'm forced to battle you for my freedom

I'm sorry mother for what I must do,
But my swollen skin that your nails and teeth damaged have spoken,
You crossed the line, made me snap
No longer will I defend and protect you
Now you must pay for your mistakes
Because I no longer will be your punching bag

Please forgive me my mother,
I still love you, I always have,
But I must do what I must
I can never forgive you, I can't because I love you and you've damaged me enough, you're the reason why darkness stains my eyes
So forgive me my mother,
While you rot in your prison cell
Forgive me since you do not love me,
Because I will never forgive you since I love you

I was just showing my heart, it's like glass. It's cold, see through, and fragile. Push hard enough, and it will shatter. Shower it with light, and it will shine. Hide it in the dark, and it'll show your monsters.

I'll fight one day at a time,
Face one demon each day.
Until I get by,
I'll fight one day at a time.

Not that little boy who you once hurt,
Now a man, why can't you see the scars?

After all the years of taking the blame
Can't you see the roles were wrong?

Shielding you from all your fears,
Tis love in vain, now your turn for eternal pain
Because I'm at last, done taking all the blame

This time I bid my final goodbye,
And this time, its not just another lie
You held me together with your attention,
You broke me down with your neglect
And this is why I must part

I write my final farewell
My friends can't you tell?
I loved you all, and that was my poison
You stopped loving me, and that was my doom
And that's why I'm leaving now

I shed my final tears
It won't be years until from me you hear
The cracks you glued, they fell with your absence
The shadows you chased, they turn to nightmares without your care
And that's why I must disappear

My heart its heavy with sorrow
Surprisingly so, it'll feel much better tomorrow
Your company I yearn, it became my drug
Your love I wanted, became my blade,
And that's why I must heal

You deserve it, you're a gentle soul, your beauty it shines because you're a person of love. You've been broken and damaged, bruised and beat, but now he's here, to love and to cherish. He will never leave, he's yours to love. He loves you too, his eyes show that well enough. This love you've received, you deserve my beautiful friend, the pain you've endured has come to pass. Let your man kiss your wounds, and mend your healing heart

Mind over matter, but when is the mind wrong? When it deceives you just to defend you, is it doing the right thing? Blocking the pain with barriers of insults and hostility, does the mind truly protect you? Or make you a prisoner in your own head. When do the lies become reality, and reality nothing but a figment of your imagination

My heart's been broken, long before it was opened. When it was opened, it was consumed by the darkness that had broken my heart. And when my heart broke, my mind had closed to block the pain.

What good is the glue if the broken pieces are missing?

Broken glass can't mend broken a broken heart

This pain is to strengthen us
Those too weak die and fall broken
Those who remain standing reap the spoils of war

I've been told before that wisdom comes from time
A lie as mine came from pain

Its easier to talk about darkness as it seeks one out, writing about the light is harder as it evades us

I've strayed from the path that was set since my birth
I rebelled and chose to forge a new road instead

I was wrong you see, my path was wild
Free of limitations, I became powerful and left my mark
Everyone knew who Javier was
They knew his name, they knew his face

I escaped the path that had been dull
Didn't know that I was rebelling against myself
I broke through the chains, snapped the bonds

Didn't see that the path wasn't forged by them, but by me
I made that path, I chose my future
But just to rebel against them and show I was no puppet, I lost myself

I veered off the yellow brick road,
I veered straight into limbo
I lost myself and what I stood for,
And for what?
To prove a childish whim

I lost my path,
I rejected my future
Time to amend that idiotic mistake,
I must walk my path once more
Now that I've found who I truly am,
I can't lose myself once more to these bitter childish thoughts

Love now before you lose the ability to do so,
Tell him now before you lose him forever
Know he loves you back,
before you end up alone
Let your love be shone,
Before its just a faded memory

This sad to say
Our final goodbye
Who knew we'd weep a bay
For this eternal lie

Wish for someone to discover the broken pieces,
The demon you see, he hides his heart
A bleeding ***** that he wishes for someone to heal
He wants you to touch the pulsing muscle
Won't you stitch together the falling pieces?
Won't you be the one to save this demon?

I was hurting,
Crying and licking my wounds
But now in its place is bitterness and resentment
You weakened me
But soon I found power in it
Now don't apologize,You made me stronger in the end

No one thinks of you until you show your claws
No one cares about you until you prove your strength
No one loves you until you show your heart

Don't fall into the dark
You can't lose your soul and believe no one loves you
I love you and I'll mend those broken cracks

Don't hate those around you
You can't keep hurting those that try to get close
I'll save you and teach you something other than pain

Don't cry yourself to sleep
Your tears they drown you amongst your sorrows
I'll fish you out and save you
With me, waking up everyday would be a breath of fresh air

Don't do it
The blades selfish and only cares for the thirst your blood gives it
I'll kiss your scars away
You won't need to suffer by my side,
I'd protect you from your demons

Hold me tightly,
Don't dare let go
Love me sincerely,
Don't allow the cracks to break me
Cherish me eternally,
Don't let my love die
Hold my soul closely
Don't let it slip away
Stand by me,
Don't let me fade away

If only you saw what I truly think, what I feel. Perhaps, we are the same, but we'll never know. I scare myself. I fear my thoughts, what I truly fear is what I see in my reflection. When I veer into the dark, and do harm, I get joy, not regret. I want to go farther, to do more damage, to sedate the sick thirst for which I crave for. To go further, until I've reached the bottom. The lack of pity, compassion, love, and sympathy scare me. Maybe I've believed my own lies, but I like to think there's an end to this. That this reflection isn't all that I am. That perhaps, there is good in the person who I see in the mirror.

We all have a light on our hearts. Some call it love, others call it our will to live. I call it hope. I have hope, I hold it close. It's what drives me to keep fighting. What makes everyday worth the fight. I hope to be better, to be good. But like there's light in us, there's also darkness. Some have none or just a bit. Others are filled with nothing but it. I have an abundance of it. I try to rid myself of it, but it's who I am. I try to fight, but I know the truth. It's still inside, in every thought, in every breath I take. Darkness lives in me. I know there's some good in me, but the darkness that I hide so well from others blisters inside. I fear what I might do if I fall into the dark. Perhaps I push those close away to protect them. Or perhaps I do it to protect myself. Either way, the truth is that there's darkness in me. You don't see what's down below, what burns my soul. The screams you will never hear, its all hid quite well. So you can't speak unless you've seen my soul, heard my thoughts, felt what boils inside. See my soul, judge my soul. See my mask, pity the mask.

I'm a blade and the world's been sharpening me to cut all those who dare get near me. My life revolved around blood once, then tears, then rage. Pain ended, and resentment was born. I has sharpened to fight, not to be happy. I fight, everyday, to live, to stay strong, to not lose myself. I'm a blade, cold, emotionless, and full of blood. Happiness is for those that deserve it. I deserve none. I'm strong because of the cruelty that has sharpened me. I'm razor sharp, I'm something people fear. Cold as steel, I live everyday. I'll cut all ties if I think I'm threatened, I'll make others bleed so that I don't bleed. Blades are meant for war, death, blood, pain. Not for love, happiness, joy, compassion. This is what I am. Not a monster, not a saint, but a blade. And the world's what sharpens me, what gives me the pain to be stronger. To remain in control, to never lose myself in the darkness.

One day a year, we decide to be kind
To show our love for one another,to be pure of mind.

We laugh and smile, a day to rejoice;
Though is one day a year the only choice?

Why not be kind all year long,
Show your love and bliss to those you're among?
Can't we retain the better half of our humanity within our hearts?
If humanity consists only of this hypocrisy, I want no parts!

One day to show your love, one day to be pure;
Tis the truth, there is no cure.
We're destined to live in shambles,
To never experience true gambols.
It's sad to say, we're nothing but lies;
So I have one thing left to say: my final goodbyes.
Learn from humanity's mistakes;
Do not let your heart be filled with petty aches.
Love your life, so when you die
You may leave in peace, with a blissful goodbye.

You're what makes me special, you're what lights me up. Oh now I'm on fire, the flame you can't extinguish it, join me in a beautiful flame. Our heat of love what we make it so, your breath next to mine, I whisper in your ear this, and this only; I love you

Its what makes me human, it's what causes my heart to skip a beat. I can't describe this feeling, this feeling of bliss. It stops the thoughts, freezes the blood flow. Its what makes that twinkle exist, what makes my days have meaning. It's called love, it's said to be dangerous, but how can something that completes my soul be so deadly? It's what's worth risking, its whats worth fighting for.

I pour my heart on these pages, soak the pain in ink and let the strokes be seen. Each line that I sketch, is another line that was stitched on my heart. Every tear drop that falls, makes the paint come alive. Each color that joins, they mourn my love. The graphite that spreads, it cloaks these words. Each page holds, another secret to be told. Another love story to behold.

I love you, you were my match

Last I saw you, I hurt you badly
Out of jealousy did I snap
Very much do I regret it now
Every time I think of you

You make my heart ache with longing
One mistake was all it took to lose you
Until we meet again so I can say
                       I LOVE YOU

You brought me down
Broke my strength
Drained me of life

I built myself up,
Fought the lies
Tried to stand

You threw the knives
Made it rain fire
Stole my smile

I flight the mirrors
Became a sea of power
Learned to love

You lashed out with poison
Made the bruises bigger
Became the dark of my nightmares

I became strong
Learned to fight and live
I walked away,
And never looked back

Another secret to keep, another lie that's born. Shh, I can't tell, the dark deed lies in the bleeding words, in the riddles, in the depths of my sick twisted mind. Come and try, you cannot pry it out of my lips; I wont allow it. My peace of mind depends on this one secret, just one dark deed. It repeats its ****** pattern, only this is a puzzle that none can solve, none but me.

My life I owe to all of you
You've kept me alive
Were my strength for so long
Were the bright side of life

This peace I've achieve thanks to you
You kept the sinister thoughts at bay
You each gave me hope
And were the light at the of the tunnel

This victory over the war inside me
Won because you each stood by my side
All of you kept me latched to humanity
You became my family
Our chains of friendship forged  

These thanks I give, they're for you
You kept me from fully shattering
Mending falling pieces
Became the definition of my life
The rainbow after the hurricane