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Sep 3 · 18
Liar
Javier Garza Sep 3
Lies
They're nothing but empty words
A faux smile that even you fell for
It's nothing but lies

The internal screams
The blistering hate underneath
You want to cry, to scream
You do not know what love is
All you know is power and survival

Embrace the devil within and succumb to the truth
You do not want acceptance
You want annihilation

The guide and savior of the Lost Lambs
But who saves you?
The comfort and messiah of the broken
Yet who shall liberate you?

Liar
Your strength is nothing but a weak reflection
Your true might lies within the shadows
Cry and scream! This too is fine
Abandon the smiles and gentle touch
You need not lie to yourself
It's fine

Liar
You preach love and try to live by the word
Yet you cannot deny the self loathing
Beneath the surface smoldering, suffocating you
Embrace the pain, the hate, the rage
This too is love
But above all else, stop lying to yourself
Aug 25 · 60
Lost Lambs
Javier Garza Aug 25
Prophetic lies from the sacrilegious
The flames of discord are barely reigned in
Smiles and righteous eyes that fall upon
The hatred simmers behind tight lines

"Holiness" transcends logic and reason
It scars the land and shackles Lady Justice
Faith is the rule
Hope is the law

Freedom is blasphemous and a deadly sin
My avarice for it is insatiale
To be free of mind
Free of thought
Free of "sin"

To live is to sin
To sin is to be free

So salvation be ******
Blasphemy fall upon my melancholic soul
May the pious forever hold their peace
So the decadent bloom and Lady Justice be free of her shackles
The evangelical enslaved by their faith
And the Lost Lambs roam free at last
Not everyone is of the same faith or belief and that is fine. However, we must all respect one another and the sanctity of their autonomy. Not everyone needs nor wants to be saved. Sometimes those "lost lambs" are perfectly happy and content.
Aug 12 · 78
The Ugly Truth
Javier Garza Aug 12
Open the Gates of Hell and let the Storm free
Fill the Void with the Insatiable
Replace the darkness with the flames of Destruction
Let's dance in the Chaos of the End

Bathe in the harsh light of the Forsaken
Embrace it all
Succumb to the inevitable

Break the Seal which protects the balance
Let it all go and drown in it
Allow Chaos to finally manifest
For the Undesirables to sing their truths

Open the Gates of Hell and let the Storm free
Fill the Void with the Insatiable
Replace the darkness with the flames of Destruction
Let's dance in the Chaos of the End
For once, loosen your grip and fall into the chasm
Be engulfed with the ugly Truth within
Jun 22 · 380
Cruel Hypnos
Javier Garza Jun 22
A Demon, a Dream
The one I long for till exhaustion
The one I fear

You evade me even in the sea of shadows,
Mocking me with your ever close hand in the world aflame
Why must you torment me so?
Your sweet embrace is what I crave
Though cruel and vivid,
You're all I want

As I fall into despair your abusive grip comes out of the shadows
Forgotten stories to torment my weakened spirit
Or perhaps hidden desires that will fade as soon as they're born
You taunt and punish me
Chipping away at my soul

A Demon, a Dream
The one I always chase
The one I resent

At the bottom of dejection when reality and nightmares convene
You piece me back together
Deep hibernation to repair the soul
Finally, this vicious cycle comes full circle
At long last, I feel your embrace
Nov 2020 · 63
Untitled
Javier Garza Nov 2020
A forgotten relic
Only recalled through fear
The anxiety and terror is it enough?

To establish power
Fear, weakness, and hopelessness is essential

Fear salvation
Fear hope
Fear the light

Tis all a lie to give a false God
There is no salvation
Nor any hope

What is integrity
What is honesty
What is honor??

A lie
A dream
A false illusion

Cry from the nightmare
Cry from reality
Cry from life
Oct 2020 · 58
My Demons
Javier Garza Oct 2020
They're cruel and mocking
Lying deep within
Cracks that shake my very foundation

They push everyone away
Lock my hope
Lacerations in abundance

They're not what define me
I choose to be and do better
I choose to smile

When everyone's gone
The foundation isn't left empty and alone
For that which plagues me comforts

My demons though wicked and sadistic
Love me and refuse to be denied
They're not what define me but a part of the very foundation itself
Alas, even when I'm all alone, I never truly am
For my demons though cruel keep me company
Jul 2020 · 50
Untitled
Javier Garza Jul 2020
I rather chase that which I can obtain than a dream that I'll never claim
Jun 2020 · 55
Untitled
Javier Garza Jun 2020
Inferno filled glasses
They seek and search
Shinning upon the broken and deceitful

They burn with a hunger but are never fed
These passion filled eyes
Searching with a painful optimism

To sedate the lustful avarice
They seak and search
For the one worthy
Mar 2020 · 143
Untitled
Javier Garza Mar 2020
Close the curtains
The stain within claws outwards
Death a hidden desire

Preach I'm fine
Hollar I'm ludicrous
Yet death is all I seek

Peace within my clasps
Stolen from moral
To die is a sin

Freedom a sinful wish
Agonize life
Agonize virtue

Peace is sought out for sleep
Yet is peace seen as war
To be forgotten as a relic
Feb 2020 · 69
Untitled
Javier Garza Feb 2020
Why should topaz be cast aside for a sapphire?
Is saphire more precious than a topaz?

Name alone
Saphire
Topaz
Which is more precious?

Should you hate the shine of topaz,
Quiet yet deep
Should saphire be chosen
For boldness and color

Topaz yet another gem
Yet unwanted
Tossed aside
For the dull saphire
Jan 2020 · 75
Untitled
Javier Garza Jan 2020
To live is to sin
When tender orbs witness truth

Denial is to be caged
Alas, will you ignore reality?
When dreams are of innocence intertwined with sin

Should you deny nature for divinity
Where do you stand?
Upon a heaven unknown
So desperately grasped at from purgatory

Through sin can you defy purgatory
Though will your soul be tainted
Mind clouded from reality?
Should you reject the innocent and divine

Oh these tender orbs
They witness it all
However, which will you choose?
Heaven on earth or perhaps the celestial realm beyond your reach?
Jan 2020 · 77
The Light
Javier Garza Jan 2020
Lights flickering
The bulb ain't broken
Powers still surging

Hope, love, what is power?
To shine through the dusk

A crack or two
The bulb's still holding
Flickering though it may be

Is it the sun within
That keeps it lit?
Or perhaps the beat inside that keeps it pulsing?

Though there is no source
Perhaps that brings upon the flickering
A purpose or possibly even a sin
What will it take to keep it steady?
Jan 2020 · 116
Untitled
Javier Garza Jan 2020
I feel my hunger growing. My desire pulsing, thirst growing
Knowledge abound, growth all around
Nov 2019 · 83
A dying star
Javier Garza Nov 2019
It hurts your joy
Have you forgotten of me?
The dates and lies

To substitute creation
For the god who refused birth

Demon or devil
Am I evil for choosing life?
Am I condemned to choose a new path?

You chose your scapegoat
Am I wrong for choosing fate?
For new life
For new fate
Should I be condemned

Please God, do not make me choose
Between desire and fate
Who will survive
Suffering or dignity
Alas, I'm a failed star

Do not reject us
The love unfed
The hurt with no beginning
The rejects to birth
Oct 2019 · 79
Failed Hope
Javier Garza Oct 2019
I was hurting, I tried to prove myself
I suffered the weight
I toughed out the burden
Yet tossed aside was I

Too weak
Far beneath
The help was not enough

To please the leaders
Bear your whole
Show your burden
For disgrace to acclaim
You're nothing but a waste

Fight, run, struggle all you wish that's not a man
That's not a warrior

Do all you will
Sacrifice all you have
It'll never be enough
Alas, you were never enough
Oct 2019 · 59
Soldiers
Javier Garza Oct 2019
Thousand of words within a single drink
The laughs, the yells, the screams, the cries

Tight lip while in the uniform
Wear it right, bark right
Do not disgrace all that which is

We are the protectors
The guardians
The warriors of the land

Yet who will save us?
Who will combat the darkness?
Who will defeat the demons within?

Seeking,
Pleading,
Begging for salvation
We're worthless in the end

Pawns that couldn't even fulfill their duty
To be tossed aside
When the king needs saving
The rook will rise
The knights will roar
And the queen will awake

With a single drink we'll be locked away
With a single drink will we be mourned
With a single drink will we fulfill our duties
Oct 2019 · 53
Untitled
Javier Garza Oct 2019
To the shed
Lock away faded scars
Sealed away with a weak smile

To the shed
Dark  and humid just like back then
Reminisce in the silent shadows

To the shed
Albums to heavy to lift
Yet to fragile to throw

To the shed
Agonize and weep
Smile and laugh

To the shed
What lunacy lies there?
A tiny yet amazing sanctity

Inside beaten boxes and dust covered duffles
Lie cherished memories and never forgotten friends
In the shed
Are treasures most will never understand
Oct 2019 · 51
Untitled
Javier Garza Oct 2019
Sweet, tender lullabies
Of glass dreams
And bitter ends

Don't they pull at the strings
To spit in your face
The sadness of reality

Reality
Unlike fairytales
So raw and unapologetic

To heed the false lyrics
Or succumb to bitter truth

Won't you be herded
Why choose to fall into despair
To choose agony over sweet, sweet dreams of aspirations
Oct 2019 · 240
FATE
Javier Garza Oct 2019
Burning flesh, does it frighten you?
Nihilistic verses, do they set you aflame?

Tell me
When you sealed your eyes
What was to be the outcome?

When the thread hid the crevices
And the smiles masked the sea
Did you not see the disease spread?

Do not sing in front of the roses
You've failed to pierce the darkness;
You didnt even attempt

When fate seals the deal
And True Love gives the Eternal Kiss
Remember the burning flesh,
The nihilistic verses ,
Remember the stitches,
The disease you ignored
Oct 2019 · 44
Untitled
Javier Garza Oct 2019
Oh won't you save the dying star
Twinkling weakly
The light begins to fade

Is God displeased?
How is silver less than gold?

A falling angel from the heavens
Is the star meant to be forsaken?
For its inability should it be forgotten?

When at Earth it smashes
Who is to blame?
God?
The Earth for its natural gravity?
Or the failed beacon for falling?
Oct 2019 · 88
The Fall
Javier Garza Oct 2019
Should the mighty Oak fall
Sound would not sing its demise
Into the abyss would it fall to never be claimed

Such deep powerful roots
Kept within the dark soil
Safe from reality
Hidden from the mystery yet held within the light

Of withered leaves, crumbling branches
What will become of the roots
Will they thrive within ignorance
Should they choose salvation through it

When the tragedy at last gives up
Will all the chains be severed?
Should the roots ever see sunlight
Will they dry up
Will they die off

If the faux oak ever falls
The roots will dissipate
Fooled and ignorant
The light never touched them
Toxins never entered their system
Alas they bid farewell to the mighty Oak
Oct 2019 · 57
Why I drink
Javier Garza Oct 2019
Burning fire cascades through agonized fleshed
Not to heal, not to numb, not to forget

All is one, and one is all as the thoughts flare at high speeds
The dark, the light, it all crashed within
The fire will not cleanse this turmoil
It will not burn the pain

This liquid fire the catalyst for a storm
To feel,
To cry,
To scream,
Just to feel something
Anything
Oct 2019 · 48
Inevitable
Javier Garza Oct 2019
A broken muse led by his sun
Singing, painting, creating nothing but shame
Dont you know the sun will burn you no matter what?

You flee, hiding behind the clouds
Yet the shield you trust is nothing but a storm
The toxic Rays will impale the heavens

Sought solace withing the hope of the moon
The inevitable fire will consume all

Snarl, fight, and lash out at your God
Holy light shall pierce your impurities
You the muse cannot argue the Sun

Anguish, weep, scream ****** ******
What is a mortal to a divine celestial

No matter what shade you seek
The holy Rays shall incinerate your sin
Sep 2019 · 78
That Which Is
Javier Garza Sep 2019
Marveled as a rare beauty
The black pearl shines upon the heavens
A celestial body of his own construct
Marvel at the resonance of sorrow

Did he rise through the seas to reach the mighty heavens?
Did he escape the darkness of the deep?
How did such beauty mark the realm of gods?

A twinkling contradiction up on the vast unknown
A black pearl shining through the calm oceans of solitude
Kneel before the majesty of uncharted heavens branded

Truth be told however,
He never rose from the deep, never departed from the burning waters beneath
This celestial body didn't brand the land of dreams

Such deep woes are the tears he creates as he looms ever closer
Falling upon the earth and land of man
This beauty is burning bright into collision

Marvel not at the enthralling light
But at the flame that dares defy the gods
Behold the black pearl that denounces immortality
The black pearl that accepts reality
Regard not that which could be,
But that which is
Witness the Falling Star
Aug 2019 · 60
Untitled
Javier Garza Aug 2019
Thunder roars through the dying cave
Hammering, thundering, all through the dark

Like desperate wings flapping for dear life
It's all that fills the desolate abyss

Fear falls from the ceiling
Crystal tears that hold captive unspoken horror

Wailing tormented cries accompany the beating
Aunguish strikes the walls
Jun 2019 · 162
Reality
Javier Garza Jun 2019
My love
I gave all to you
I hoped and prayed for the best

Yet you've failed me
With greed and pride
You stand against all I loved
You chose yourself

You forgot my sacrifices
All that was given for you
A cancerous tumor

You were loved
You were cherished
But ultimately you were a disease
Humanity is sad.
Jun 2019 · 59
Untitled
Javier Garza Jun 2019
A beautiful melody,
A sight to behold
Fog clouds the path
Rain drowns the song

Search desperately
Yearn for it with your heart
Youll never reach the aching tune
Never gaze upon the divine scene
May 2019 · 121
A New Page
Javier Garza May 2019
Stain memories mark brittle pages
Ink ran livid as it bled through the thick paper
Fresh new starts branded by the ink before

Far ahead lie pristine white hope
Fresh, innocent, and full of potential

Do not let the previous page's failures ruin the chance for a beautiful masterpiece
Move beyond the smudge past
Pick up your brush, pen, or pencil
And create a new piece
May 2019 · 91
Untitled
Javier Garza May 2019
Beautiful mercury droplets escape the vast void
How could such beauty exist in a plane of nothing?
For such beauty to even escape from the emptiness

These beautiful droplets are not the saving gift of water
Though of far more divine magnificence
A deadly radiance, the liquid fire
Do not dare wipe nor touch the falling droplets

Be amazed and honored to have witnessed such a rare phenomenon
Few have gazed upon the melancholy and glamorous event
Watch from a distance as mercury droplets rain from the empty void
Watch as the silver tears escape the hollow cavity
May 2019 · 70
A Beast
Javier Garza May 2019
Dark nights lie ahead
For the beast with a heart of man
He stumbles on uneven ground
Reality crumbles as truth are revealed

Will tender hearts be enough to chain him to life?
Unrequited love, or unregistered?
The question that silences the thunderous drum

He weeps, he roars
All in pursuit to find purpose in this savage jungle
To find the light atop the canopies

Poor beast, with a heart of man
Dark nights lie ahead
With vain souls trying to tame him
Will his thunderous drum ever beat again?
Apr 2019 · 89
Untitled
Javier Garza Apr 2019
A smudge cover
Can't see the hidden title
The hardback conceals the stained white within

Pages were torn
Corners were burned

The words bled through what was left
Bitter waves etched the damaged white

Can't comprehend the insanity within
The entire thing is a discordance
Black waves attacking the stained land

Barely bound together
The rigmarole survived abusive readers
To be tattered and mistreated
Ripped apart and cauterized

Was this pitiful tale the author intended?
To whom did he write for?
What drove waves of ink?
Why was such desolation captured?
Was he pleased with his piece?
Mar 2019 · 84
Moon
Javier Garza Mar 2019
A sacrilegious dance
The sinful waltz with the Moon
Beautiful melancholy voices sing
Oh of sinful deeds

Follow the rhythm of the beating Drum
Feel the crescendo
Know the steps

The eternal rest won't halt the dance
Beautiful melancholy voices carry on

The Moon won't let you go
Feel his grasp
Know his voice

Sweet, sweet singing now commence
This dance, oh it will never end
Mar 2019 · 75
Untitled
Javier Garza Mar 2019
Upon the ultimate bed, you lay
Exquisite as ever, with an angelic smile

You tarnished your gift, gave in to the seven deadly sins
You stole, you lied
To sedate your unquenching lust
You let loose your unrelenting wrath

Guardian angles flock together
Lay eyes upon the one they failed

Let the trumpets sound loud and clear
And Heaven's light shine upon the final secret revealed

Your greed damaged our singing heartstrings
For now, they play the melancholy song of dissolution

Your gluttony for sweet release left us void
Took from us what you had once given
Left us starving to hear your joyous voice

Your wrath scorched our wings
Grounding us to earth
The fire of your agony still unknown
Yet the fire of anger begins to burn

Pride expelled you from Heaven
The lies you tightly wove masked the truth beneath

Upon the ultimate bed, you lay
Is that smile even real?
We mourn and sing the final farewell
Even that you stole from us
Upon the ultimate bed, you lay
Your exquisite corpse forever mocking
Mar 2019 · 80
Untitled
Javier Garza Mar 2019
You sink to the depths of despair
Choke on the memories of failure
And wish you could halt the agony,
To halt your gift

The shackles, however, don't let it happen
They grasp so ever firmly the beating drum of life
Bruise the flesh that they cling to
Barely maintaining your existance; you can see the clear blue skies from your watery prison

You gasp, you scream
You wish the shackles would shatter, that you would at long last be embraced by the void of darkness at the bottom

But in the back of your mind, at the bottom of your shackled drum, you pray and hope that these chains would bring sweet release
That you could once more feel the fresh crisp air against your blue and purple skin one final tine

You release tears unseen,
And scream to be released from limbo
To either perish or be set free
But truth be told,
You're the one who placed the shackles you hate so much
You're the warden of this watery hell
Mar 2019 · 147
Deep Seas
Javier Garza Mar 2019
Guide me, please I beg of you
Light the dark seas and lead me to shore

The waves crash and roar,
The defeaning sound of doom,
I'm not sure if I can stay afloat
This anchor tries to drown me

Please hear past the waves,
My cries and pleas, are they falling on deaf ears?

I know your lighthouse stands on the rocky shores
Won't you light the bulb?

Please, the water burns
Seaps and claims that which is preacious

I can't break free, soon even the dark skies are gone
And the darkness of the deep claim me

My tears add to the vast seas
Darkness will claim all that I am

If you had lit your lighthouse,
Could I have even been saved?
Had this anchor been destroyed could I have swam to safety?
If I had begged, screamed, and cried louder could you have heard my fleeting voice?

If only...
Sometimes one cannot fight their inner demons alone and require the aid of others. It's ok to ask for help, and to help others. There are always signs that give someone away, don't pretend and hope that they're getting better, watch them because they may be crying for help. Save them while there's still time.
Feb 2019 · 67
Warden
Javier Garza Feb 2019
You sink to the bottom of despair
Choke on the memories of failure
And wish you could stop the pain,
To stop your life

The chains of life, however, don't let it happen
They grasp so ever firmly your heart until it hurts
Bruised the flesh that they cling to
Barely keeping you here; you can see the clear blue skies from your watery prison

You gasp, you scream
You wish the chains would shatter, that you would at long last be embraced by the void of darkness at the bottom

But in the back of your mind, at the bottom of your shackled heart, you pray and hope that these chains would bring you out of this hell
That you could once more feel the fresh crisp air against your blue and purple skin

You release tears unseen,
And scream to be released from limbo
To either perish or be set free
But truth be told,
You're the one fighting the chains you hate so much
You're the warden of this watery hell
Dec 2018 · 123
Water
Javier Garza Dec 2018
Through approval and dismay
The water never lays still
It crashes and weeps,
Its waves dance and sing

The water doesn't ask for permission
It doesn't seek acknowledgment,
The tides will rise with the bad
And recede with the good
To hide and reveal, the beauty below

The water,
It does as it pleases
It changes throughout the day
To keep marvelous life sustain
It will continue to play

To sing and dance
To crash and weep
All through approval and dismay
Aug 2018 · 78
Untitled
Javier Garza Aug 2018
Begging for help,
Crying in the inside
Wishing someone would see me drowning

No one stops
No one looks
No one cares

I battle day and night
This dark cloud comes and goes
I struggle to keep it in check
But I'm failing
I'm struggling

Wont someone save me?
Why can't anyone see?
Am I just too weak?

I'll keep on fighting,
Keep on the battle
I won't give up,
But won't someone lend me strength?
Jun 2018 · 209
Untitled
Javier Garza Jun 2018
I have a storm of negative emotions, swirling and twisting, each one goading the other to keep burning. When one finally dims down, another takes its place; resentment, hate, rage, and sadness. This storm is my strength, just as this storm is my biggest weakness. If only, for a bit, would the storm stop. If only, there was a sun above the clouds. If only, there was something inside me other than this storm.
May 2018 · 178
Life's Ichor
Javier Garza May 2018
Wading in the murky puddle
You search for it
You thirst for it
The purified water
The clean elixir

The mud slows you down as the anxiety builds
Soon desperation has sunk its fangs

Yearning for the far out of reach clear elixer
You land on your knees
Crying to the heavens
Agonizing over your parched, burning throat

You collect the tears unseen,
Drink your own toxins hoping to sedate the fire
Instead you strengthen the resentful flames

All you see is the puddle you're wading through,
Suffering, dying, searching for Life's ichor
Never once looking up,
Never truly opening your eyes
Never once catching glimpse of the enormous lake up ahead with clean water
We all yearn for something in this world,  something that'll make us feel better, something that will quench our suffering even if ever so slightly. Yet we tend to look for it in all the wrong places, going about it in all the wrong ways, turning something that might've been wonderful,  into another instrument in our masochistic self torture; furthering our inner suffering. When in fact, what was truly healthy, could be been achieved had we opened our eyes and seen things differently.
Apr 2018 · 143
Cataracts
Javier Garza Apr 2018
Opened eyes that see so little
Cataracts of cynicism cloud your life
You preach about how you see reality
Yet you fall prey to your own illusion

Denied of a life of warmth and light
You bear the burden of your own grudge
Struggling with the pain
Baring your fangs to all who come near you

Pride that's shallow
It leads the way to solitude
Are your broken beliefs worth this much?
Has your anger tainted you beyond repair?

Strength that is a fraud
You stand tall with those blind eyes ablazed
That power of yours is nothing more than a lie to hide your pain
People tend to hide from reality and live a lie just to not hurt.
Mar 2018 · 130
Mask Of Lies
Javier Garza Mar 2018
Fell for the Mask
Was fooled by the illusion
Thought it was my light
That it was hope;
It was nothing but a reflection from the porcelain lie

Slipped into the fantasy,
And now the Mask starts to crack

Crevices part through the facade
And I fall
I fall into the darkness behind the Mask
To a place where there's no light
Not anything to shine upon the harsh reality

I made this Mask
I put it on willingly;
Now I crumble alongside my Mask of lies
Sep 2017 · 401
Inside
Javier Garza Sep 2017
I'm weak
I shed tears
I curl up into weakness
And bleed silver regrets

Can't stand on my own
My mirrage was a fraud
Solitude isn't strength
It's hell

I scream
When I lose all control
My power stripped leaves me genuine
I'm the secret you all hold dear

I fall apart
Fools gold won't be bought by everyone
Discerning eyes will see the truth
The ugly that we all hide

I'm human
What we deny
For power and status
We shun what makes us valuable
The raw emotions that makes us weep and bleed
I'm the part of you that has been deemed too strong to display
Too strong to share
Why do we hide that which makes us humans, that which makes us who we are
Aug 2017 · 123
Untitled
Javier Garza Aug 2017
if you want to bask in the shine of this double edge sword, bear the bittersweet bliss of being around him while the whole time hoping for more, expecting less, and enjoying the moment as it happens
Jul 2017 · 213
Untitled
Javier Garza Jul 2017
He struggles to drag the pencil
Can't find the strength to pick up the brush
Falls into the pure canvas

How can he depict the colors that haunt him
The vivid oils that torment him

With shaking hands,
The pen floats above the untainted
To smear the dark ink would be to sin

Tears are all the empty canvas take
No polluted graphite to smear it
Paint won't wound the prestine white

Preserve the innocent
Protect the untainted
Even if it's a lie,
Even if under the surface colors reign in chaos
Jul 2017 · 188
Untitled
Javier Garza Jul 2017
We're on the same ship
Sailing through vicious storms
Bearing through the cold dark

But we're landing on different shores
Seeing different worlds
Walking different paths
Jul 2017 · 203
Hurt
Javier Garza Jul 2017
Bottle after bottle
Liquor can't save you
No escape

Unprovoked attacks
To redirect your anger
The disappointment you can't evade

Ashamed of what you once were
Tried to wash your hands
But the muddy water didn't evaporate

Haunting you everyday
The shadow of pain
You can't run from who you were

No matter how much to close your eyes
Things won't change
I'm here to stay
The hurt you hate
Mar 2017 · 212
Strength
Javier Garza Mar 2017
I welcomed the pain
Shrouded myself in self loathing
I forged my armor in the coals of my anger
Soaked my blade in a well of tears

I made my suffering my power
Found strength in being broken

Fighting through,
I never backed down,
Always kept pushing
Bearing my teeth to all who stood in my way

But when there's no one left to fight,
How can I cling onto my pain?
The one thing that made me strong
Will eventually dissipate
And all that'll be left, is to find strength elsewhere
Mar 2017 · 231
Atlas
Javier Garza Mar 2017
Stood tall,
Took the blame
Never thought twice about it

Kept on fighting
Trying to see through the dark
Not realizing my flame went out

Legs gave out
When did I stop registering the pain?

The tears kept running down the canyon
Same old river that cut through the solid earth

Fell to the ground
Weight finally breaking my body

Tried to lead them
Hold them up high
Protect them so they never bear this pain

Lying down now broken and weak
Who'll hold me?
Who'll block the sharp winds,
The unending storms?

But most importantly,
Who'll take my spot once I'm dead and gone?
Unable to protect them any more,
Does that mean I've failed?
Jan 2017 · 267
Reality
Javier Garza Jan 2017
I'm not motivated at all. I once held high aspirations, dreams unlike most, fought to be strong, to hold my pride and marvel at my strength, to accomplish what most can't. Yet I grew weary. It's a constant battle. If not my own, the others and the world's. Constant trumoil, with little true accomplishments. Watching as it all begins to rot, knowing that changing that is near to impossible. For it is these thoughts, that call for revolution, for change, for justice, true unbiased justice. To be born in a world where ignorance gets you killed and ridiculed, yet no matter what, we remain with some sort of blindfold, ignorant forevermore. To unveil it and see with true eyes, to see the depressing reality, why it crushes what little hope I held for humanity. Dimmed it down to a low flickering flame. I rather leave the blindfold, even if I can see through it, at least it'll block some of reality away. Because no one truly lives in it anymore. They all hide with their "justified" thoughts. Believing only their way is correct. That any other path will lead to self destruction. Not trying to seek other roads, to detach themselves and see life for what it is. Instead they aim to create life what the wish for it to be. With many individuals doing this, reality isn't real. But a mirage. And the battle isn't to bring peace or make things right, but to have their mirage be the strongest, to make it reality. So to hell with it. Let my soul slumber for now, to heal itself from what it's seen. The good isn't enough. Too much hate and darkness pollutes life. When my hide is thicker, when my hold on his mirage is stronger, I will aim to disperse it, to clear the fog. But what if at the end, my reality is nothing but my own mirage? One too weak to bring joy?
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