I don't want to be
a lesson you go back to
when you need to remember
the definition of loss.

I don't want to be
a living memory
that breathes and laughs
only in your head,
so close but you can only see
when you close your eyes
and hold only in your dreams.

I don't want to be
a tenant who rents a space
only to leave
permanent damages
in your heart.


I want to be
a teacher you turn to
for inspiration
for things that last.

I want to be
an imagination happening
right before your eyes,
not in your mind
nor in your sleep,
whose hands you can hold
and lips you can kiss.

I want to be
a housekeeper who stays
to take care of your heart
and make it my home
for life.

Here, it hurts here,
where I'm supposed to
face big rolling rocks
as if I've got me a helmet
and iron fists.
This part, it hurts here,
where I'm supposed to
hand-pick gentle puffs of air,
not be smothered in smokes
that choke me up to see clearly.
Way up here, it hurts here,
where instead I try to get away
inwardly, far, far away,
towards nowhere,
rather than out.

Blue
like my soul,
a fraction of what is due
for sin that took its toll.

I want to wear the ocean
and bring waves everywhere I go.
I want to sleep on the clouds
and wake up sunkissed.
I want to grow leaves
and flowers
and fruits,
and shed magnificently in the fall
and blossom sweetly in the spring
and be ripe and fresh in the summer.
I want to befriend whales
and polarbears
and eagles
and be wild and free.
I want to drink the milky way
and glow from the inside.
I want to powder my face with stars
and take people's breaths away.
I want to dye my hair with rainbow
and never have bad hair days again.
I want a voice that sounds like birdcall
and sea breeze
and rain shower,
and sing without ever needing words.
I want to embrace the Earth
and love it like Mother Nature.
I want to die like the moon
and make way for a bright new day.

What can I say?
I love you in the simplest way.
For the first time ever,
there's no need to be clever
and for words to be fancy
for you make it so easy.
Best and perfect
cannot reflect
the way we are,
never imagined we'd go this far.
Always looking forward,
you are the greatest reward.

I swear I've seen paradise
whenever I'd look into your eyes.
Who knew I could be blessed by
something so divine
such as your smile?
I have never known what it's like
to be waken up and put to sleep at the same time
until your lips kissed mine.
Only your voice can lull
the roaring in my skull.
And into your arms, I'd come home again and again
like how sand always settles at the bottom of the ocean.

Have I ever told you about this magnetic force
that makes my body always want to be next to yours?
I've never felt like this before,
can't see myself with anyone else anymore.
You were the sunshine I've been waiting for,
now I will never have to weather any downpour
without someone to play with in the puddles
and laugh with through all troubles.
This is all I've ever wanted from life,
finally I can say that line.
My soul has found peace,
for you are the missing piece.

What can I do?
I love you more than I know how to.
Let's hope nothing can sever
this making of a forever.
I promise you my heart,
it chose you from the very start.
Through the highs and the lows,
you have my hand to hold.
Whatever tomorrow brings
or change in feelings,
we'll stay together
cause we're two birds of a feather.

I can't keep
Regretting
Your dream of us
Never came true
While my dream
For myself
Is being realized
By someone else.

I can't keep
Going back
To our conversations,
Our only memories;
While I move forward
With him
To make the moments
You and I never had.

I can't keep
Confessing
The truth
To the questions
You never asked
While he provides
The same answers
I never got from you.

I can't keep
Telling myself
This is the last time
I will write
About you
While I keep promising
I will write
About him

And you can't keep
Reserving me
With a bookmark
So you can read me
Later for recreation
While he tries
To memorize me
Everyday as a ritual

Somewhere
Along these piles of paper
Scratched and scarred
By pens and pains
That never finish anything,
I was read,
Understood
And continued.

Somewhere
Between conversations
Of screams and whispers
Lost in a sea of words
Meant and made-up,
I was found,
Believed in
And listened to.

Somewhere
In this great big clutter
Of thoughts and memories
Whether strangers or familiars
With futures and histories,
Your mind
Will always recognize
My mind.