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we can not love out loud
because hidden love is too much fun
and letting the light touch it
would be such a waste
of laughter and secrets
i want your garden
sprout from the earth
breathe you in
consume all of you

i want to feel
green in my feet
in between my toes
it can't be beat

the sweetest smell
it's like the fuel
i know it all
a little too well

the warm embrace
what is this place?
it seems you've left
without a trace

who are you now
you've left me again
i feel the fear inside
purer than the water
that brought us here
it's beginning to get to me
I'm coming undone, so stuck, so lost, dealing with my inner demons. I've become blind to my corrupt ways, lost in mediocre land, and I only care about myself. I'm suffocating in my own selfish ways, I need deliverance from this hell of mine. The one I leave inside, that monster lurking in my soul that I can't control. I'm try to convince myself that im fine but the truth is that im not. I don't want to die, yet sometimes I want to, im so conflicted inside. I just need deliverance from evil, but I don't deserve it, and sometimes I wonder if I truly need it. I let things consume my mind, losing sight of who I am.
It was so
on that winter morning
that all the grass
and plants were still,
frozen in place by
the cold chill that rested
on our fingertips
and lashes
it was so
on that winter morning
that when you exhaled
the words
‘I don’t love you
anymore’
into the space
between us they
were accompanied by
a reinforcing cloud
of steam
and i could not fathom
how words that cold
could have been warmer
than the air
around us.
You salt the wound
you bend it back until it breaks
You just consume
despite the way that it may taste

Caught in the bloom
of creations which are not your make
You walk the plank
veiled steps towards what they say and think


Don't even blink
as we push the planet to its brink
Cohorts of war
without reason to what you wage them for

You just forsake
a sedated apathetic state
You choose to pray
to a non-responsive deity

Repeat after me
   I am free

As death nods his head reassuringly
I wont be your cigarette
you wont have me and be done
but I will be your sack of ****
get you higher than the sun

I wont be that **** you flick away and run
but I will be that line that gets you by
and you will do me twice just for fun

I will have you sweating
I will have you begging
you can call me molly
then we will have our wedding

garage, sundress , open bottles I can confess
broken smiles, sad sleeps, I will be your worst dream
you wont puff puff and be done
you wont pass because you will want me till there is none
I will be your sweet addiction
I will be your lovely conviction

I will be the reason your prescription gets written
The last taste on your lips
the sun will forget
but I wont be your cigarette.
 Aug 2014 Jacob Christopher
No
You poisoned my sunsets, now I can't watch the horrizon anymore. I guess it was my fault because I wanted to do everything with you and now I can't do a thing without swallowing pieces of broken promises and memories of you.
:-(
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