Dear Autumn,
I feel that with the arrival of you, my favourite season,
I have found myself on a path that I wanted to never again tread.
Whilst your leaves are falling, they do not crunch
like they have in the years that have passed.
And it's started to rain, Autumn. The novel that is my life,
it detests the pathetic fallacy you provide.

Last week your wind forgot me, forgot to fill my lungs
with life and hope and I still struggle to breathe.
I did not shake because of the cold, Autumn,
but because of this cave, full of puppets and shadows and -
Autumn, I am not rooted any more but I'm not free.
And I fall, Autumn, like the rain and like the leaves.

Waiting, waiting,
Or should I forget?
Image held in my mind,
Desires,
So many books,
And too many blogs,
But the word,
Content,
Stills the clashing voices,
Rest,
And the angst falls away,
In roar of beauty,
Yours.
Life is so much more,
I don’t have to marry,
Do I?
To know the true beauty of the mountains,
Or enjoy a starry night on the beach,
I remind myself,
love doesn’t last forever,
And this feeling of longing,
Won’t go away,
Chased by a dashing young man,
In life.
Only when the world is restored,
Will that piece of my heart,
Come back.

My head is nodding off into sleep,
My mind, shutting down for the night,
Yet the heart is vigorous, up and about,
Says it has poetry that I should type.

I know there's nothing tonight-

I feel no love or heartache at the moment,
No cause for gloom or celebration,
No nagging regrets or piercing guilt,
No urgent philosophical questions.

Yet the heart presses on,
And I've no choice but to let go,
And ease it with the calmness that only poetry brings,
Its verses acting as the best placebo.

After all, a writer's ***** is an impatient one,
And the only way to calm its creative agitation,
Is to feed it with words, ideas and emotion,
Woven together into a recipe of poetic composition.

I want
thousands of
beautiful words
to tumble out of my
mouth
to take
your breath away
to show you
what it is
I'm feeling
but every time
my chest inflates
with the thought of you
I have no words
at all.

Some people are like wounds which leave no scar
They disappear without a sign

You , were like a shooting star
That made life divine
you came with all your glory
the dazzle,the shine
But belonged to nobody

Though that once u were mine
Maybe my hold was not strong enough
But u made me realize
Some people are not to keep n love
they are gifts sent for a period of time

U made me feel special
the faintest Magic u sprinkled
And for that im grateful
Coz it was enough to change my life

I forever watched the vast sky
To catch a glimpse of your shine
I waited for another time
Hoped for something that will never be mine

I treasured every moment
with you That i spent
Coz u were worth Every bit
And always will be
That star i wished upon
That flawless ceaseless melody

Graceful pain
in relinquishing my soul
into chaos;
Falling forever.

There are the highs and lows.

High
When praise is the light
That glides you down  
The corridors of life.
When you've been smoking
All night
Your in another world.

Low
You walk around unnoticed,
Scraps in the wind.
Peoples words pound the
Deepest walls of your self esteem.

High
Confidence.
Fire.
Ambitious.

Low
Depression.
Dark.
Pain.

But sometimes, there will come a time when you can't tell them apart.  
Where the difference between high and low in like trying to figure out if you rather freeze to death or burn to death.

No matter which you choose, they're both lethal.

Playstation.
Running as fast as it can.
Lava flowing through,
From component one,
To component two.

An engine.
Overworking.
Solder joints and Silicon,
The things that break,
Difficult to be undone.


Metal and plastic.
Assembled in crazy ways.
So soon to be,
In so many realities,
A state of disrepair.

Every morning I longed to be by my mother’s side.
She was kind and true.
As true as the facts anthropologists find to prove our human roots.
They say we evolved from monkeys and such.
I say there are always lies in between truths.
My mother promised to keep me safe.
She made my world a rainbow dune.

Her all-natural perfume gave me the ability to touch the sky.
Her rhythm and tune collided to bring out a pleasant triad.
I touched the blue and white with my bare hands.
No, I did not hesitate, for she was kind and true.
She gave me life and spirit too.
So easily, I assume.

Now all I see is a flooded platoon.
I was all too naïve to believe in the wicked disease.
My surroundings were made out of candies and sweets.
I am disgusted by her attempt to keep my life platonic and safe.
My mother manipulated my innocence without a care of the sea.
She had forgotten to introduce gangsters, and demons into my docile life.

I was only six when it happened.
My beautiful, heartwarming mother took her life.
She abandoned me to face the demons all too soon.
I was thrown into the streets and lived an uneventful life.
Lee found me lying on the street with tears streaming from both eyes.
The rest of my childhood was spent watching Lee slaughter innocent souls.

I saw too much from my own baby blue eyes.
There were screams and body parts rapidly falling from sight.
I knew all too well that Lee was my savior, so I tried to fit in as an alien might try.
Too soon did I become what my mother would never praise and I did not put an end.
As children, we are too weak and need guidance to live.
We mirror what we see, no matter how wrong it may be.

I needed the right soul to look after me.
I did not have that and so I fell into dark tunnels, you see.
I am not to blame, so why blame the innocent and not those at fault?
Those that walked right past me when I was only six could have helped.
They had the upper hand, I did not.
I never did, I was just a little innocent kid.