The scene unfolds before me,
Yet I seem to be
The only one
Who pays it heed.
The glorious light,
The sun
With its radiant brilliance
Peering through the cracks
Of Clouds,
The trees
Gently waving
In the calm
Summer breeze,
All painted
By the living brush
Of Nature.
It is not
That I am the only one
Who
Can take a step back
And see this
Painting of God
Unfold
Before me,
But rather,
It is that I
Am the only one
Who listens
To the chirp
Of the crickets,
To the buzz
Of the cicadas
To the soft songs
Of the birds
And to the gentle whisperings
Of the wind
And does not think
On how
I must go home
Or how loud they are,
Or truly anything,
For when I
Am in Nature I,
I take a step
Off the path and
Into the world and
Stop thinking,
Start seeing and hearing and
Simply marveling at
What a gift it is
That we
Have been given
To live
In a world where
If you want to see beauty,
You can just look up,
Look out,
And you
Will find it,
That
We live
In a world where
Raw life
Surrounds us and
All we need to do to
Marvel
In the glory of nature is
Take down those windows
That we always have
Around us,
When we are
In the car or
In the house or
Simply walking down the street,
To
Take down that barrier that
Separates us
From the
Real world,
From this world of life
In which we live but
Which we ignore and
Simply walk by for
All too often we
Do not live
In this world but instead
Simply exist in it
And pass by the beauty that
So surrounds us.

The heat,
The scorching rays
Of sand
Under the sun,
But far more
Was in the air
Than simple dust
Floating around.
For under that heat,
From the royal palace
To the basin
Of the mountain hike
To the beaches
And rocks
To the botellon
And the catedral
To the fiesta on
The first night
To Santa Anna
On the penultimate
To that last day
In Guadix
And the last night
In Madrid
To the plane ride
Back
And still,
Here,
As well,
It shall never
Stop.

I have been
Friendzoned,
Many a time.
It is a common experience
Among both geneders,
For it is truly
The best way
Do deal
With that issue.

But now,
Now let me tell you
Of a far greater pain
And longing.
For I have been
Timezoned.

For my love,
She is across the country,
Our great country,
Our far too expansive country.
She is over hills and mountains,
Rivers and valleys,
Plains and forests.
She is over the Appalachians,
Past the Blue Ridge
Around the myriad waterfalls
Of Western North Carolina,
All sparkling in their magnificence
As the light crests over the hill,
Spilling into their deep pools
And flowing drops,
Yet they all,
All of them,
Pale in comparison to her,
To her golden skin,
Her flashing eyes,
Her smile
That beams down upon you
And radiates with
Joy and happiness,
And her hair,
So-called ***** blonde,
But to me,
There is no purer,
For it flows
More freely
Than the waterfalls
And looks
Even more gorgeous
As the sunlight hits.
For she is more beautiful
Than a Sunset
Upon the lake
Where she lives.

She is over the great Mississippi,
Which flows from Canada
All the way to the Gulf of Mexico,
Streaming across our country
As a boarder
Twixt east
And west.
The only thing
Even larger
That I know
Is her kindness
And compassion,
For those are
Without end.

She lies
Past the cornfields of Nebraska
And past the plains
Of the olden tribes.
My love lies beyond them,
And of all things
She alone
Could make those miles of wheat
Joyous
To drive through.

She lies over the Rockies,
Past the Tetons,
And around the great apple orchards
Of her state.
For her I would climb
The Rockies,
Tunnel through
The Tetons,
And harvest
Every apple
In the state.
But alas,
That would help me
No more
Than hacking off a limb.

To be timezoned then,
Is to end
What barely began
Not because
Anyone wants to
But because
Simple geography
And age
Makes it impossible.
It feels far worse
Knowing that,
If you were there,
If you lived within
A three-hour drive,
You would be
With her.
But alas,
I am not.
I live
Forty-five hours
Of non-stop driving
To the east
And south.
A seventy-hour long bus ride,
And a 6 hour long flight.
And yet I know
That if I were there
I would be with her.
But I am not,
And so someone else
Is.
What hurts
More than rejection
Is acceptance
And then having
The cruel fates
Swoop down
And stop
What would have been
Amazing.
What could have been
Perfection.
But what was instead
That
Which barely
Happened.

I am a leaf
Blowing in the wind
I cannot hold
My emotions
To one tether
Or another.
And yet,
And yet I am attached,
Directly attached
To one
Three thousand
Miles away.
But alak,
Alas,
For she
She is no longer
With me,
For three thousand
Is far too big
For two students
Not yet in college.
And so,
And so I must go on
And yet,
And yet I cannot
For whatever may happen
To me
And to her
I shall always remain
Attached
To her.

Hey friend,
Put down the blades
This feeling surely fades
Put away the pills
Watching you live like this kills me inside
Don't hang that noose
Keep that rope loose
Acknowledge your feeling
It's not unappealing
Look at the people who love you, their faces
They know you're going places
Not in the ground
Let your broken heart be found
You are loved and needed
Even if no one begged and pleaded
You're meant for something
Imagine the smiles you could bring
If you stay
Come with me, friend, I'll show you the  way

Honesty,
Honestly,
What does it
Mean?

If it means
No lies,
Then I am there
Already.

But if instead it means
All truths,
Then I have a long way
To go.

I want to share,
But I am afraid
Of saying too much,
Overstating the lines
In the sand.

To others I would talk,
But cannot,
For this is secret,
By the order of the 15th
Commandment.

Secret, She said.
I said fine.
No attachment, She said.
I'll try, I said.

No Jelousy
Fine.
No Relationship
Fine.
Just Friends
Fine.
No exclusivity
Fine.

Fine I said,
Again and again.
All was fine,
I said,
But all is not fine.

No attachment?
Too late.
No Jelousy?
I can try, but it will never work.
Just friends?
At least to me,
We are far more
Than that.

Secret,
That I can accept.
As for exclusivity,
I doubt she does this with everyone.

But if all is not fine,
Why do I say
It is?
It is because
I love her
And want to be
With her
Always
[Even when we
Are separated
By Three Thousand
Miles.]

And so any terms
I will accept.
For while the current ones
May be impossible,

They are Nothing,
Nothing at all
Compared to the
Emotional impossibility
Of being near her
But not
With
Her.

Depression
Is when
You want to do something
But lack the motivation
And feel like you
Can do
Nothing.
Depression
Is when
You feel an overwhelming sadness
That does not go
Does not ask
But simply stays
As it slowly puts out
The fire
In your heart.
Depression
Is when
You feel hunger
And yet you do not eat
Because to cook
Is far
Too much effort
And who are you
To take that food?
Depression
Is when
You feel pain
To a massive scale
But none of it
Truly goes away.
You have good days
And bad days
Joyous moments
And horrific ones.
But depression
Is when
Even your good moments
Are tainted
By the knowledge
That you will soon
Slip back
Into the gaping abyss
Of sadness and despair
That is
Your psyche.
There is no cure,
Not a universal one,
At least.
If your depression
Is caused by
Loneliness
Or heartbreak,
Than perhaps
A partner
Could end it.
If your depression
Is caused
By asinine family members,
Then maybe
If they were just nice
Instead of mean
They
Could end it,
But the problem
With depression
Is that
No one knows
That you have it
Unless you tell them.
And if you do,
They will either
Back away
As if from leprosy
Or some contagious disease
Or they will
Know nothing of it
And abandon you
Or they
Will completely
Over re-act,
And send you to
A therapist
Which sometimes
May help
And other times
May make worse
The depression.
But sometimes
If you tell
The right people
They will simply
Be there for you
And help you through
And whether
They know how
Depression works
Or not
It often
Does not matter
So much as the fact
Of knowing
That someone out there
Truly cares
About what happens
To you.
And that
Is the only
Universal
Relief.
And so thank you
For being there
When you
Can.