How do you tell someone
that you don’t like thinking,
because it hurts
too much
for you to bear?

My body is too heavy
I just want to lie down
And stare up at the stars
As birds and time fly by

My body is too heavy
I just want to lie down
Buried under pillows and blankets
So deep
I am nowhere to be found

My body is too heavy
I just want to lie down
Let my arms rest in the damp grass
And let the sun warm my mind

I’ve always thought of this as a selfish act
One I would never commit
You gave me life, the greatest of gifts
I apologize for throwing it away
You should know that I cherish the moments I was truly alive
You were the ones who made it good
But living is far too painful
And I long for a quiet
An escape from the mayhem in my head
I feel more than I can handle
And I have more love to give than I get to give away

You should know
You have my permission to move on
But please don’t forget
I want you to be happy
More happy than I ever could
And know that I love you always

I want you to find peace
just as I am about to

I hate time
I hate that it moves fast and that it moves slow
I hate that it always keeps moving
And that there is never enough
I hate that it is unstoppable
And that we can never go back

The pills have gotten easier to swallow
And my anxiety has gotten quieter
But the sadness is still there
Amplified
And I try not to cry in public
But there is always that one tear that escapes
A runaway
And I wish I could follow its lead
And escape this world
Escape the shackles of time
For what is the reason of existing?
If existing is all you do?

They danced to the music
And there was no question about it
They were electricity
Sparks in the sky
Lightning
They were fire
Crackling beautifully
Warming fingers in a tiny cabin
Raging in a forest
They were rain
Calm and pure
Smattering on the windows
They were the essence of life
They were happiness
They were love