the day
when even the not so faithful
were tempted to pray
for the health of the nation

I've got a secret
a *****, little secret,

And secrets stuck inside are bound to shred you to bits
so you've got to find someone to tell, somehow, quick,

You're a puppet writhing on its string
waving your stubby, limp arms for attention,

You dance around yourself
and find pretty ways to phrase what you mean
"i'm not that okay right now" you finally say,

And then you're locked into a bizarre duet
filled with classical music, and dainty, lovely steps
of "why didn't you tell me?" and "i wish i could help,"

But it seems you're not really cut out for this dance
you're too afraid of stepping on toes and causing them pain
you nervously try to laugh off the mistakes,

"You looked like you were walking straight into that lake"
go ahead, try laughing that away,

You blush, you look down
hang holding your breath from your strings
because *someone knows your secret
and even though they won't mean to
they might hint at it enough to give it away,

Because that's what you did, right?
you could never just break down to the beat of your own drum
and tell them the truth
you could never just say
I've got a secret,

I've thought about killing myself before

No, you always wind up giving out a pretty, little
*I don't think I'm okay.

When the world takes on an air of confusion, ever more than it had before

I run to a dream
A children's cartoon
Where a boy and his family live in the stars
A life of robot pets, world-hopping and talking spaceships

Where they are still flawed as humans tend to be
But greet their challenges with grace and humility
And accept the alien friends they've yet to meet- true heroes

I don't know about anyone else, but it seems like a pretty great world to me
And more possible than other fantasies
That humans will one day live in the stars
And not just live, but thrive

I'd like to visit there someday
But I've still got a long journey left to make

I'm only seventeen

So I've got to kindly ask,
that while my feet are firmly planted on the ground,
*please don't mess this world up, for me

So this is why they say that
innocence is sunshine without shadows
and you may be better off keeping it that way
we had a school lesson on beauty, of all subjects
and knowledge has come with an electric shock for innocence
---
I have a best friend
And she is beautiful
In the kind of way that boys fall over themselves for
When I'm with her, I'm a special kind of invisible
We can shiver the same way
And, in an instant, she will have arms slithering to wrap around her
Protect her and keep her warm

But this is not an ode to jealousy
I made my peace a long time ago with being seen always
as more cute than pretty

This is an apology
That I've never before really understood
How dark the shadow is cast around you
All for being beautiful

All for being you

Love,  be gentle and kind,
take that rusty gun from under
my pillow and shoot me twice
in the heart so I can feel the hurt
from the first time and the pain
from the second again;
but don't bury me in the dirt
beneath your bare feet,
just burn me like the memory
of your brown soles I saw
running away, oh, so long
a time ago, I can't even remember.

"Will you stop smiling already?"
I can't. I'm laughing at life and how momentarily intense it is.

I think that answer might scare some people