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I’d rather write than speak
My pen is always responsive
My ink doesn’t judge my mistakes
My paper doesn’t argue
My lines never cross me
My sentences never disappoint
And my words will never leave me
You shouldn’t be there
At the back of my mind
You shouldn’t be
My morning and waking hour thoughts
You shouldn’t be
my 11:11 mantra
You shouldn’t be
my wish upon a shooting star
You shouldn’t be there
It’s very unconventional
You should be here, right here
Right beside me, here in my arms
My entry for Day 4.
now
don’t expect you to understand
why I try to forget
just help me remember us...now

@journeyofdays
  Jan 2017 The Brooklyn Nightmare
Eloi
schizophrenia is back.

I talk to the creature sat at the end of my bed,
He takes his hands and places them on my head,
I cry into his palms,
He is humble,
He is kind,
The only vision that has been in the whole of my life.

I tell him my troubles,
My worries,
My pain,
He whispers and tells me to keep being sane.

I tell him I lost my mind a long time ago,
He says
"Oh my dear, no.  You are the one who's sane amoung a world that is crazy. Take this your gift and let your life flow."

He tucks me into bed,
Wipes my eyes,
Tells me to never believe anyone's lies,
He leaves me now,
Walks away,
I close my eyes,
And drift away.

After a lifetime of "my gift" giving me grief,
Pain, despair, and broken belief,
The creature he showed me,
That not all is bad,
There is hope still,
maybe I'm really not mad.
You want me to write for you
But what can I say?
There are no words I can put onto paper
That will not open your eyes
To the things that I have kept hidden
For so long.
In solemn solitude I walk,
Desolated I fall into the dark skies,
A thick mist of memories that blinds me from the future...
Wherein I get lost, times stops and I reminisce.
Back into the past
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