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I walked into the dark cafe,
or was it bar?
thick with smoke, blood and confidence,
you could only see so far,
but I could see angst looking at their glass,
and nostalgia was dazed,
stuck thinking aboot yesterdays,
forever searching through a maze,
with no exit,
sadness is sitting with anxiety,
in between silences they talk aboot society,
while happiness tells me to smile,
with a certain style,
I tell them I need a beer,
or was it a coffee?
I do smile.
Anger comes up and tries to start a fight,
but redemption feeling the need to do right,
breaks it up,
To much noise and a black eye,
I say with a smiling sigh,
Time to write.
How I feel when I write.  I also think the title is kinda wonky
i walked in the wilderness
i walked alone
there were signs and portents
but they were shallow imperfections on reality's page
they were ink stains afterthought to a great symphony
a dust devil in backwater forever forgotten road
and as i walked i heard it spin past
i saw its track on the cracked pavement
but did not slow my steps
after all i knew not a single face ever born of dusts fire

she came upon me in the wilderness
she stopped me in my walking with a gesture
that was complex in its simplicity
that was rich in its lack of words
she asked me to think upon the need
i asked her with a single tear frozen in time
heated by the hearts sun

she painted a masterpiece there on
the sunbaked road
she used the world as her canvas
she used the color of her words as her paints
and what she showed me
beckoned me further in thought
drew the mind to look upon its on mechanics
and with her hand she made doves in the air
with her hand she made soft trees upon which they could live

i walked once in a wilderness
i once walked alone
in an unseeing way
striding forth to an unseen future
till she had come upon me
and gave my words wings
and gave my mind a key
that turned in the wilderness
and released me

she made me a brown turtle dove
living in a paradise of roses
by the side of a road through a wilderness
that has no beginning
no end
she said no need to walk the road
now that you can fly
gave my mind a key
released me
 May 2014 imaginary reality
Zead
when u were 14 havin all the fun there was
as if it was a dream that was never exposed
the original intent left without saying goodbye
and the mourning starts before it's caught
your conscience finally breaks out of it's shell of glass
it's evil plan- to not break out until it came to pass
so that you can be told a message not so talked about
but still if not-the most famous message of them all.
the note reads "your already dead inside"
and well with is as well without
u cry inside as the laugh roars out
so needy, so selfish ,and no one to talk to when your sad
especially with your acquaintances that are just as bad
this is the beginning, the kick-start of all your trauma
more perpetual than gravity weighing you down
to the abyss you go, crushed as a mount'
every drop of rain, everywhere at once
there is no doubt that your a dunce
and well with is as well without
you can try to get back up without the bends
but of course you end up wearing a thick lense
the cycle remains as existence runs dry
and there you are trying to just pry
at home is where one wants to go
but the trail back is found where the wind blows
no fun in anything no more
to think what was there when you were only a kid
the great time before your emotions hit
now remembered like it never was
the ******* of it all, the population that called
like better if you didn't know
but truth is, you reap what you sow
 May 2014 imaginary reality
Zead
imagining that place, your heart has seen
as if you were there, you know what of it
it will never exist , your memories are fake
delusions alive, conscious' despair
you dream in the day, but bare in the night
you lurk for its kind, resemblence of old
but here is not there, and your heart becomes broke
because it is what you think, that it is-what it is
and it's beyond of thought, that one cannot grasp
but if it worked out, your emotions would calm
i just wanna know, what you're all about
i've never seen the mountains, i've never seen the oceans
the're not special to me, the heart does not concern
and just to me, my love is all i would grasp
because i can't understand, where exactly you stand
the kind of love, for seeking of it
it's not that i care, it's whether it's legit
i feel so lost, without any of it
because i know any amount, while it doesn't exist
like tearing a limb, is kind of the gist
no way to explain, our small matter of gray
we'll never gain, within this plane
Your voice
has gone
still in my head
leaving me
to wonder
where you went
and who
gave you
permission
to slip away
so silently .
Written in March 2007.I could no longer easily access from my memory ,the sound of his voice.
Sir,
please tell me
why you've grown so bitter.
Is it something I've said?
Did you skip your morning bread?

Sir,
I implore you to tell me
why you've grown so sad
because, well...
you still are my favorite lad.
A school girl crush develops into a love as the girl weeps at his deathbed. With tearstained cheeks, she begs for an answer.
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