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A girl who calls you Alligator
but does not *see you later
from a once deleted twitter account I had
More people are concerned with
why women stay in abusive relationships
than
why men are abusing women
NO ONE UNDERSTANDS HOW HARD I TRY
TO STOP
THEY ASK ME TO PROMISE
BUT I CAN’T.
DON’T DO IT TO HURT ANYONE OTHER THAN MYSELF,
I DON’T DO IT WHERE YOU CAN SEE.
YOU LOOK AT ME AND THINK THAT I’M THE HAPPY LITTLE GIRL THAT HAS EVERYTHING THAT SHE WANTS,
BUT INSIDE I’M DYING SLOWLY
SCREAMING
BUT NO ONE HEARS.
THEY CAN’T SEE HOW HURT I AM INSIDE
NOT EVEN THE PEOPLE THAT ARE CLOSEST TO ME.
I’M THE BEST FRIEND
THE PERFECT GIRLFRIEND AND DAUGHTER,
NOT THE KID THAT NEEDS HELP. and i feel like i'm slowly fading away.
I still remember the first time you brought your lips to my neck. I remember looking in the mirror the next morning for a hickey, but instead I found her name stained to my skin in purple ink. I always wondered why you  kept your eyes closed when we would pull away from a kiss; but now I think it's because it's the only way you can hold onto her memory for a little longer. She made her way into my head, under my skin and into my bed just by being the only thing on your mind. I've touched every part of your body but I cannot manage to clean away the prints of her hands. The first night I heard her name in between your breaths when you were sleeping showed that your closed eyes are the only thing keeping you with her. It's the only way you can hold her hand. You're at one end of the room and she's at the other, but there's something there that's blocking contact. Something that's keeping you from reaching out, paralyzing you not to call her name. They always ask me why I stay. Why I keep looking into your eyes when you don't look into mine unless there's a glimpse of green surfacing them. I guess it's because I keep falling asleep to my own bedtime story. The story where my body is the one you want to kiss. Where you can read my goosebumps like braille. Where you drown in the blue of my eyes. They say insanity is repeating the same thing and expecting a different result. Well baby I must be insane because I keep falling asleep to this story, but every morning I wake up alone.
He sits with his arm draped around his girl,
Everyone knows they're together,
They all see them,
Together. Happy.

They don't see his eyes wonder,
to the same plain girl,
with scars like snakes on her arms,
Alone. Quite.

He thinks of her,
Longs for her,
wants her,
Morbid. Disgusting.

He wants the girl in his arms,
to be her,
he forgets of the world.
Her. Him. Together.
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