I'll wonder myself away from this heartbreak;
To a world where it doesn't exist.
Where no crying happens;
And the nights are sweet and long.

I'll wonder myself away from this heartbreak;
To a universe where the stars hold our future
Where no tears of sadness dare fall
And the bliss lasts forever.

I'll wonder myself away from this heartbreak;
To a life where happiness is rife
Where tears of joy run like waterfalls
And heals and cleanses our broken souls.

I'll wonder myself away from this heartbreak,
My dear,
To a new life where I know my worth
Where my potential is recognized
And where love overflows like streams.

"This is the problem,", I hear myself say.
Night unravels all the progress of day.
You and your problems aren't less important than me or mine...
That's just the thought in all our lives.

I stare at myself
And think:
What has the world done
To make me hate it like this?

I stare at myself
And answer:
Nothing. It has done sweet nothing.

Brush my love over your open wounds.

Eventually all these
Negative things will pile up and
She'll lose her mind.
She has nothing to live for.
So why doesn't she cry?

They hate her and probably wish they never had her.
She's sorry.
She's sorry for it all.

If she ended her life right now,
Neither of them would even shed a tear.
For all their sadness, grief and unhappiness,
Would be gone...
Dead;
Killed.

At her own hand.
And she'd regret it not.
For now, at least, she can be at peace.
She CAN be loved and she will.

And there, at least,
She won't be thinking suicidal thoughts.

I'm so sorry for disappointing you. I know you've always relied on me to make you proud and no matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't. I'm so sorry for embarrassing you in front of your friends and our family. I'll try and be more polite. I'm so sorry for keeping to myself. I'm so sorry for being how I am & for always being sad and unhappy. I'm so sorry for not being perfect. I'm so sorry I don't do everything that you ask. I'm so sorry that I cry a lot. I'm so sorry that I can't talk to you. I'm so sorry that you won't understand. I'm so sorry that I'm not the child you wanted, I know he wanted a son instead. I'm so sorry that I'm here, I didn't ask to be. I'm so sorry that I wish I could disappear just to make it easier for everyone else. I'm so sorry that I'm such a horrible person and that everyone I come into contact with, ends up not liking me in the end. I'm so sorry that I end up losing all my friends. I'm sorry that I have an attitude problem. I'm sorry that I have a short temper. I'm so sorry that I make it impossible to have a conversation with me without me being rude or sarcastic. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for having to be sorry.