I opened my eyes
And looked up at the rain,
And it dripped in my head
And flowed into my brain,
And all that I hear as I lie in my bed
Is the slishity-slosh of the rain in my head.

I step very softly,
I walk very slow,
I can't do a handstand--
I might overflow,
So pardon the wild crazy thing I just said--
I'm just not the same since there's rain in my head.

My name is Erin
and i was *****
at the age of 7

it has taken me
14 years of my life
for those 13 words to escape
my hollow mouth

the only questions i come to now
is why
why lock me in that room
why take everything from me
my innocence
my purity
my childhood

in that room
where my family trusted you
where i trusted you
the night terrors i have to this day
still haunt my mind

like a never ending
drive in movie that plays
over
and
over
only the moon in the night sky
isnt made to be found here
there is no light in these terrors

i cant sleep this time of year
because every time i do
its you
in that room
locking the door
shutting the windows
******* me
yelling at me
every single night
i close my eyes

it has taken me 14 years
to accept the fact that i was taken by you
i have been numb ever since
left in the dust
rotting away at the core
thinking i was nothing
thinking i deserved nothing
because you took everything

but not anymore
i will recover from this
i am strong enough
i believe in myself
i believe in my own happiness
and i promsie
that when i have children one day
i will never ever let them rot at the core
i will find happiness
the darkness will not take over this time

Is it forever you carry that small knot
Right beside your heart
For someone you miss.
And whilst they are there,
A void,
A cage,
The strongest iron chain
Prevents you reaching out
Through the pride you clasp to your chest.
Or the resentment that lingers.
Or just the sheer foolishness you regret,
As those words so easily,
So bitterly,
Slipped from your lips.
And now the path you both tread has become a void.
And regrets so cavernous cut deep into your heart.
But you know no way forward.

He put his head in his mother's lap,
closed his eyes, and was lost.

He felt a velvety, comforting
restfulness, beginning to spread
behind his eyelids, and over his body.

He evaporated, and was in the womb,
once again. In that musical womb,
where he was, before the duality of identity.

His mother's hand caressing his hair,
felt to him, like something he had experienced
when the ocean breeze touched him, but more intimate.

He lost his name then, and was lost to everyone.
Only his mother knew, where he was in those moments...

© Manan sheel.