years of bold friendship
things have changed for good since then..
i can't imagine my life without you
i respect you with all my heart
you never let me down
however, how much pain i have caused you
you are always by my side
always there as my guide
you scold like a mother
you advice like a sister
you hold a firm position in my life
i am grateful to the almighty one
grateful to have you in my life
you provide me brightness
my path never gets dark
you never let me stray alone
into the world of wilderness
into the world of depression
and losing you will **** me
our separation will destroy me
so please don't ever leave me
stay with me....

I wish I would have stopped the ticking clock
Just to stop you from going
To stop you from drifting away
But unfortunately you did
Slowly like a mist
You slipped away from me
You became hazy
As you drifted
You became blurry
As you slowly got carried away
Away with the windy air

her smile is his everything
it is his strength
when she smiles...
she makes everything bright
especially his world
the world that they both share
whenever she sees pain in his eyes
she shares with him her tears
and whenever she see joy in his eyes
she then shares her beautiful smile
when ever she loses her smile
no beautician can bring it back
but he can....
because he has the key to her world

I was frantic…
Panic thrummed inside me like vibrating strings
I then clutched to my positive side
But My shiver was deep and wide
Just like the ocean
The danger was like the roar of surf in my ears
Cold feelings grew inside me
I felt as though  they would eat me alive
I swallowed against the knot of fear that raised  in my throat
But I know somehow I couldn’t sink into the swamp of fear..
Because then I’ll never get out…

without you i would nothing
i would be empty
without you i would be like a bird without pair of wings
i wouldn't simply exist
the way i am now...
you embrace me with your love
you are engraved  in my heart
you are the flame of my life
you make everything around me bright...
without you it would simply be Dim
you are my backbone..
without you i would be crestfallen <3

It’s great he said
Handing her the drink
She took it with delight…
And he stood behind her .with his vicious smile
But little did she know that he was fooling her
For him her love… was just futile
You want more? …. he said
She nodded with joy
But little did she know that she was being trapped
He knew he won the game
He then harnessed her with his soothing words
But little did she know that the person she called lover have ever since been the enemy

I tried to run back
But dark clouds circled above me
Blocking my view from different angles
My knees buckled
Tried to give up
But my heart whispered “ it’s not over yet”
And I kept on moving
Meanwhile an avalanche of gust  roared on my ears
Tempting me to surrender
For my knees to say halt
For it to go slack
But I kept on moving…
Instead of waving a white flag

Pain
Pain here
pain there
Pain everywhere
I can hear the pain before I feel it
It rings through my body making it weak instead of vibrate
The pain is everywhere… and I wonder if it could be healed by a painkiller
I tried my best to make it stop
But not high enough
I whispered to myself  through the pain
I was in the state of dilemma
Thinking when the pain would stop
But it left my body just blank except pain…

I was abandoned
I was scarred
I thought you cared
I thought you were concerned
But you left me
With a permanent scar
Attached deeply with my heart
If only you could feel it too
If only you knew the value of my tears
That flows down against my fears
I was trapped in my own little cell
You played with my heart
Tossed it up and down..
Up and down
While I growled in pain
But what will you gain???
What will you gain from my pain?
I was crestfallen
Because I was deactivated
… erased from this world
I feel as if my heart is ripped
I can’t feel anything except pain
I can’t see myself as anything except incomplete
I wiped my eyes
As tears continued to flow
Because the pain you left for me
Is unbearable
You made me heartless
Just fragile..
I can hear a voice inside my head that is killing me
It’s pleading for mercy
Pleading for life..
A life that had been taken away from me once
It hurts…
The pain is like a sword
It is pierced through my heart
Leaving an impression of a permanent scar
And it is stuck there..
Like a sky full of stars…

When someone you love dieS
It’s like running into a wall
Banging your fist against it
You can’t believe it’s real
You can’t believe you won’t see that face again
You can’t believe you won’t hear that voice again
You just can’t believe it
Because a grief that marks you never leaves
What hunts you…. Will haunt you
Just when you think it let go
It returns back with teeth and claws

"Beep, Beep, Beep..."
It was the beginning of another day.   "
Just a little longer."
I thought as I  reached across the bed to hit snooze

You played your game
And I was your target
You played so well
That my heart bled.....
For you it was an excitement
But for me pain
My heart couldn’t take it anymore
And it said halt? Are you okay….?
The game is over said I
And it left me a stinging pain

I was too dense
Too locked up in my own head
Too busy trying to hear the music that I wanted always
I wanted to block out everything
Screen everything else out…
Except the music
Whose lyrics flowed down with my heart beat
I then slowly got carried away…
Deep into it
I ignored the outside world till I get back to it after the music
Whilst enjoying every rhythm as it flowed up and down

We walked hand in hand …
On a deserted road
The wind blew our hair
As the clouds roared
above us…
Indulging each moment as it was precious
Even the rain couldn’t stop us
As we walked on and on
Our clothes drenched and our hair stuck on our forehead
the warm wind got overturned by the cold air..
Our hands still locked on each other’s waist….
We walked further
I then stumbled and fall
I looked around.. You were no where
The pain surged inside me and I closed my eyes
Because I realized you were gone..
gone with the wind… 

EVERYTHING looks different
somehow, like the world is sharper than it had been
everything is louder
i could feel the day like it had weight
like i could feel seconds passing like air currents
like i could cup my hands and collect moments like water

today i woke up
i woke up to see your face
it was beautiful but quite dull
your sadness was spread fully all over your face
i approached to touch your shoulder
but you flinched
you were thinking about yesterday
you started your day with the broken pieces of the other day
with the scattered pieces....
you became the prisoner of your past