let me spill my guts
swallow it

can I tell you
everything

can I tell you
nothing

cut me open

eat my words

feed me your daydreams

I just want to tell you

let me have all the control

don't think
let me think for you

spilling my guts

running away

You know the way your phone slips from your hand and your heart drops?
The feeling of your heart skipping a beat as it shatters against the floor?
When I lose control, I experience a similar feeling
I lose control of my surroundings, sending my head reeling.
I panic and lash out in fear of the unknown
It’s like sand slipping from your fingertips at the beach
I lose myself in a storm of emotions and as I reach
For the little bits of myself, I can see in the chaos
They remain walking backward, afraid of who I’m becoming
My heart is drumming against my ribcage, ready to burst
And I’m terrified of the pale face I can see in the mirror
My reflection speaks for itself, wild eyes that know no bounds
Ears ringing, full of all the sounds
Of each voice that torments me around the clock
I’m ready for it all to stop but instead
I see myself hurting my loved ones
Becoming this animal that I cannot tame
And I remain the only one who can feel how I feel
Because unlike shattering a phone…
I cannot replace myself and this is all I know

death is an experience fully realised in those who have died, physically
but death can also be an experience in part, say, a death to the self,
and in total self denial which leaves the soul detached from temporal concerns and wedded to the Spirit.

The fact that you're alive is a miracle
Just stay alive, that would be enough