I AM SO
EMPTY
I THINK
I MIGHT
CAVE IN

Smoking is bad for you
I know
I don't know why I started
I just need to feel the smooth paper
In my hand
Fingers intertwined with death

driving 90 mph on the freeway with the windows down and the storm makes the sky look like the bruise your teeth left on my neck when we made love on my white sheets with the fan on full blast

2. waking up in a cold sweat from some type of horrific nightmare and staring at the moon in the black night wishing you were right there next to me telling me it is all going to be okay even when I fear it won't be

3. jumping off of rocks into the river with a slight intention of never resurfacing only to realize how cold and dark it is at the bottom and I find myself reaching for the light and gasping for air

I was right there.

As he gripped her waist in one hand,
she glanced in my direction
long enough to force a nod
when I asked if she was okay.

His fingertips traced their way up her thigh
as her breath became more shallow.
I asked if she was okay.
She said yes.

With his cold breath on the back of her neck
and his arm pulling her closer,
he whispered something that I couldn't hear.
She said she was fine.

I was right there.

I followed her when she left.
I found her sitting on the restroom floor.
With every sob her body shook in my bony arms.
I could not protect her.

I was right there.

I am so sorry that I did not save her.
If her eyes had screamed a little louder,
if I had looked a little closer,
Maybe then I could have stopped him before it was too late.

**I was right there.

I still don't know
how much of us
was real

And I
Was so stuck
On my own
Little
Problems
That I totally
Missed
That you were
Suicidal
Too.

I met this girl
She was just like me
Friends we will forever be

As time went past
And we grew older
We grew fonder

My best friend I loved
I made her my wife
So rest could see
We were two girls inlove