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1
max May 2013
1
I want to pull you close to me
Let you put your hands in my back pockets
So I can feel you against my whole body
Then I'll kiss your lips
And breathe your air for you
i dont still feel this way you know
2
max Jan 2014
2
You are the moon on high tide
pulling everything where it needs to be

You are the rain in Washington
drenching everyone's bones

Yet I'm stuck in a nightless desert.
3
max Jan 2014
3
You left the moons on my arms
At first I cherished the touch
Now I have to carry the dark sky with me everday
It's so ******* heavy
4
max May 2014
4
I thought by the time the moons left my arms
You'd be gone, too.
I'm always wrong about you.
5
max Aug 2014
5
You are the desert and I am the ocean not because we are opposites but because it's the mountains between us that keep me from giving you all I have to offer and leaving it where others can take it.
6
max Aug 2014
6
I thought i was done
numbering poems
wrote to a hidden pain
i thought i was done
shouting poems to the canyon
i thought we were done
but youre still here
i thought you were done
7
max Oct 2014
7
I took you in at a dark hour
I gave you something
That no one else could dream of
You loved it till the end
When you realized with scared eyes
We ****** up
Because I had him
But now I have her
And you have a stranger
He takes you in at bright hours
He gives you what I can't
What no one else could ever dream of
You'll love him till the very end
i wrote a new one thats longer tham 6 lines, sorry thad.
8
max Dec 2014
8
Your blood is all i think about
The way you draw it out
With broken razor heads
Praying it kills you
During the night
Your bones ach with regret
You're wishing for these urges to stop
And you tie a black ribbon around it
The next morning
max Oct 2012
The depression wont be ending soon
I took the blades form you
oh, my dear, do you live in this fear?
I take a deep breath looking around
See through my eyes what i found
oh, my dear, do you live in this fear?
One last breath to say slow down
this is all too fast, i'm scared now
oh, my dear, do you live in this fear?
tall thin black and burnt figure
coming near to be my savior
oh, my dear, do you live in this fear?
he said his name is suicide
he promises me one last fire fight
oh, my dear, do you live in this fear?
see the movement beyond the eclipse
you take my hand, only to rip open my wrists
oh, my dear, do you live in this fear?
sweet lips pressed coldly to mine
you're breathing out, telling me to stay alive
oh, my dear, do you live in this fear?
my pulse begins to fade away
you scream to me, to win this race
oh, my dear, do you live in this fear?
the eclipse takes over, whispers of "i thought you could"
you scream and kick at the dirt
oh, my dear, do you live in this fear?
a rough rope tied with loops
whisper to my ghost "you cant stop this noose"
oh, my dear, do you live in this fear?
tears of soot stream down my face
with one brutal snap, our memories are erased
oh, my dear, do you live in this fear?
My heart crashes to the ground
my one true love, now only a corpse to be found.
oh, my dear, do you live in this fear?
an icy thin white velveteen hand
reaching down to lift me off the burning land
oh, my dear, do you live in this fear?
lifted up to my muse's translucent face
our perfect romance, as love has won this race
oh, my dear, do you live in this fear?
We walk away, together forever
on true love that can never be severed.
Oh, my dear, we no longer live in that fear.
max Aug 2013
Dopamine and acetaminophen.
Overdose and recoup.
Red and blues you can swallow like candy.
Controversial tests of trust and health.
Shiny coated treats to take you away.
Whichever you chose be careful.
It's chemical warfare.
max Aug 2014
One day this will all be forgotten
Not by you of course
You will take your pain to the grave
But whoever mows the cemetery
Will probably think you were loved
Ivy
max Jan 2014
Ivy
If you want to feel light
Float into my arms
Let me lift you
I'll carry your body
Light as feathers

If you want to feel empty
Whisper to my ears
Let me hear you
I'll store your thoughts
Til you're empty

If you want to feel pretty
Look at my scars
Let me heal with you
I'll save you
Life is pretty
max Dec 2015
WHEN I LEARNED ALL THE GREAT ARTIST SUFFERED I THOUGHT I WOULD BECOME ONE TOO BUT ALL THIS HURT LATER AND I WAS ALWAYS TOO TIRED TO PICK UP THE PAINTBRUSH OR TOO SHAKY FROM THE IMAGES OF MY PAST I ****** UP SO MUCH INSTEAD OF POURING MY TIME INTO DRAWING STRAIGHT LINES I POURED THE BLOOD OUT OF CAPILLARIES WITH STRAIGHT EDGE RAZORS THE ONLY PORTFOLIO MY DEPRESSION SPONSORED IS MY WEAR AND TEAR BODY A HALF BROKE WRIST AND TOO MANY PERMANENT SCARS TO COUNT IT WAS NEVER PAINT GUSHING OUT OF AN ALUMINIUM TUBE IT WAS ONLY EVER THE FEELING OF MY LUNGS SHRINKING WHILE THE REST OF MY ORGANS PUSH ON MY SKIN I'M GONNA BURST ONE DAY AND THERE WON'T BE ANYTHING LEFT I WAS TOO BUSY BEING SAD TO LEAVE ANY REAL ART WHAT EVEN IS REAL ART ART IS MADE BY THE VIEWER IT DOESN'T MATTER OF NO ONE LOOKS IF NO ONE FEELS TELL ME IF YOU SEE ME ON THE STREET BROKEN AND BATTERED WITH TEAR STAINED SLEEVES AND A SCREAM STUCK IN MY THROAT ARE YOU GONNA LOOK ARE YOU GONNA ******* STARE AT ME OR ARE YOU GOING TO LOOK AT THE GROUND AND KEEP WALKING EVERYONE LOOKS TO THE TRAINWRECK WHETHER THEY WANT TO OR NOT AND THAT'S NOT ALL THEY FEEL THEY FEEL SO ******* MUCH I WANTED TO BE AN ARTIST BUT ALL I HAVE IS THIS ***** CANVAS BODY AND THAT'S OKAY IT MAY NOT BE GOOD ART BUT IF MY SUFFERING MAKES YOU FEEL THEN I DID MY JOB WHO CARES IF IT KILLS ME WHILE I DO IT THAT'S REAL COMMITMENT
max Sep 2013
Sometimes I realize
I don't have it bad
My parents are still together
We have power most days
Plenty of people talk at me
But then some days
I have to shower at Lilly's
Some times no one talks to me
And some I don't eat
And some I can't eat
And then I'm confused
I'm somewhere in the middle
Of a poor loner
And a middle class socialite
max Aug 2013
I started watching a show about
angels
demons
monsters
hunters
It made me feel some peace
Every night Sam ganked a monster
Was a night I didn't have to
Every time Dean cried a few tears
I let mine fall, too
Every time Bobby told them
to
never
give
up
I didn't either
Every time Cas sent a demon to hell
I felt like one of mine went with it
Every time Crowley kissed a soul
I gave mine to him to make me 10 more seasons.
Because
GOD
knows I need them.
Supernatural..
max May 2013
There are no long tunnels

Only trails of pills

There are no white lights

Only red blood

There are no flashes of memories

Only suffocating black

There are no pearly gates

Only hell's doors
(KB)
max Nov 2013
You feel
worthless
stupid
nothing
meaningless
even when i tell you
you kept me going
when i wanted to die
and that makes me know
that im just as
worthless
stupid
nothing
meaningless
as you think you are
max May 2014
I want to be like
Billy Pilgrim
I want to walk
Through time
I want to look
At us lying
Together
I want to see us
From the outside
I want to know
Exactly how the
Tralfamadorians
Would see us
I want to see us
In our future
And in our past
I want to be
Able to say
Something
Profound that
Will change it
All but I think
I'll just say
'So it goes.'
max May 2013
I wrote you a love note on the back of a napkin
but the waiter took it away.
I made you a mix tape in my car last night
but all you can hear are my tears falling.
I played you a song on my guitar
but you couldn't hear from the other side of the cedar and dirt.
I left you a voice mail on Tuesday
but you were intertwined in your truck.
I sent you a prayer every night
and you never got my message.
I wished on a star that your fate had changed
but you died.
max Mar 2016
I remember him telling me a true story made of only lies
He called it "The Day I Used All My Luck"
I thought I used all my luck, too
Finding him was as lucky as I had ever been
Nothing is more lucky that a boy who controlls your thoughts
I remeber falling in love to the tune of keyboard typing
She was my best friend
I wasn't her's though, and that was fine
After all, I was lucky to be in love with my best friend
She never did her assignments and I thought it was so edgy
It made me love her all the more
Then she starting ignoring me, too
I remember sending texts with shaky hands
"i like you but like in the 'when i look at you i want to kiss you' way"
"okay, i guess i kinda wanna kiss you too"
I was lucky to make it into the choir and meet her
I wanted her to the tune of Singing In The Rain
To her I was no more an accessory than her clip on earrings
I remember thinking he was terrible
"you dont know him yet"
Long all night conversation and coffee dates changed it all
I wanted to save him from his mother
All she did is lie to him
Turned out it runs in the family
Now I'm sending messages at 8:11am
"i'm an unlucky man spending stolen faith on you"
I know why it's hard to say yes
I can see it in my browser history
"I think my boyfriend is mentally abusing me"
"I'm in love with my bestfriend but I think she hates me"
"I think my girlfriend is only dating me to prove shes bi"
"I think my boyfriend is lying to me about being deported"
It's not easy to accept that you have no luck
But it's easy to have faith
Faith that things change and can be different
Faith that there wont be any luck of the draw
Faith that it wont hurt in the end.
this ***** ****
max Jan 2014
I don't know how to tell you
That I feel worthless
Without telling you that
Your efforts were worthless
max Apr 2014
I know it gets hard
Some days you forget to gasp between sobs
And some days you refuse to
But it's those days the most
When I want to press my lips to yours
So I can breathe for you
And fill your lungs with love
So you can feel weightless again

— The End —