Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
 May 2014 G H Goodland
Cynthia
I stand outside the door
Are you afraid of me?
Chase the wind go on be free
Enjoy Today because for now I am too far away.


Copyright© Cynthia Ulloa
All rights reserved.
Be present. Don't rush in to the future.
 May 2014 G H Goodland
Cynthia
For so long I've waited for you to notice me.
Your hair has turned gray from the stress,
lost hope is marked on your face.  
I wonder if deception or courage is to blame.

The missed train
the last stop—the getaway—

Every run reflecting your cowardliness
How dare you abandon me in this hollow place,
holding the key of faith and opportunities.


Copyright© Cynthia Ulloa
All rights reserved.
If God let nature pick out its colors
I'm sure the sky would still choose blue
And the deepest depths of the ocean
Would want to stay that color too

If the mountains took to long to decide
Their peaks would turn a snowy white
And the stars in all of their glory
Would still relish the black of the night

The green, green grass of the valleys
Would not want it any other way
Just like the yellow of the morning sun
On any given day

And the leaves on the trees in the cool fall breeze
Would be any color that they like
At any given moment in time
Is when they would decide

If God let nature choose its own colors
I'm sure they would all stay the same
Because God knew what he was doing
When he created it on that special day
Give them to me.
All the pieces of your broken heart.
Give them to me.

I'll take them.

All the rough-hewn misshapen bits of your shattered dreams.


Give them to me.
I will take them.

Give them to me.


They are wanted here.


All the parts of your misspent childhood. All the regrets of ticking seconds behind you.

Give them to me.

And we will build a cathedral. A stained glass window of who we are as tall and as beautiful as it should be.

Let me have them.

And we will make a mosaic that stretches as wide as the sky. Showing every color your heart gained from the bits and pieces left on the ground.

I will take them.

And forge a sculpture of how beautiful the ideas are that we cast out in our failings and we will cast it in our failings.

Let me have them.

And we will ***** a monument of all the small things in the shape that you remember them.
Towering. Looming. Striking. Beautiful.

Let me have them so we might bind the words said and regretted, (or worse) left unsaid in leather and call it scripture.

Our Psalms. Our Proverbs:

“The tip of my finger dangles like my tongue. Wanting to touch something beautiful.”

“If it were not for him, it would have been us.”

“You were all my brightest colors.”

“I wish I were more like you.”

“I wish I were less like me.”

“I am sped.”


And we will read them at dawn like litany.

Stretching our voices to the corners of the universe. Asking for the wishes you make when you are scared. Or alone. Or both.

That we may take them.

And make a blanket.

A blanket to cover our childhood and let it rest at last.

I will take them.

All the parts you no longer want.

Give them to me.

Because they are what make us beautiful.

Give them to me.

That I may forge them into pitch and feathers and craft mighty wings.

That I may take flight from your worry. And soar on the updraft of your misconception.

Give them to me.
I will take them.

Because I would rather burn like Icarus than to have never dared to fly.
This was a birthday gift to myself. I am giving it to you.
The day I met Ana
Is the day I died.
They day I met Ana
I thought I would survive.
20 pounds to go.
To look like a pro
Ten pounds to go
Are my bones starting to show.
500 the first
400 the next
The calories went down like the fat on my chest.
I started to feel dizzy.
Empty inside.
I started to feel happy
Thinner with more pride.
One bone here.
Another bone there.
My heart was stopping.
It couldn't be more clear.
But Ana loves me.
She'll never stray.
No matter how many go,
I know she's here to stay.
It might cost me health.
It might cost me my life.
But id rather die than be fat.
Skinny is my dream tonight.
I'm still battling anorexia. Nothing matters to me but to be skinny.
 May 2014 G H Goodland
Grace
You pass (me) and time doesn't pass (at all).
Honey, I appreciate the rose bush you planted
in the pit of my stomach. The blooms are darling.
But it makes it painful to breathe
when you pass, as you always do.
***** ya know
 May 2014 G H Goodland
authentic
It's easy to think that you miss me
It takes no effort to imagine you and I together
Acting as if we never went separate ways
Acting as if the sun never set the night you held my hand
Acting as if our love aligned at a perfect intersection
It's so simple to look back and pretend that it was all real to both of us
To play pretend and you being the boy who actually cared and me being the girl who actually didn't
All just scenes of a premature play that never made it to Broadway
We were just too cliche I guess
A story that everyone's already heard
And maybe this is what you wanted
For us to be put away, collecting dust and remembering only the fragments of our so called "love"
We look like a broken mirror, a cracked sidewalk
So jagged and sharp yet I am addicted
Addicted to the burn, addicted to the pain
Because I figured that if I didn't feel anything
It would be as if it never happened
The agony proves **it was real
I went from writing "her" on fine lined paper, to writing "her" in fine lines on my skin.
-a.w-
 May 2014 G H Goodland
Yoni Sav
I wanted to be alone
but couldn't resist
the fireworks
Slowly, I dripped every want, need and longing into my hand, forming in the spaces where you hands intended to be.
I came storming right into your life, arms out, begging, crying, "Take this, and that, have it." Take me
At least that's what it felt like, throwing everything I had or wanted to keep at you, begging for you to somehow love the way I hid these things between every argument.
Screaming things that make no sense to how I'm feeling, things to make me cringe and stomp over every nerve ending for you to leave. And inside I'm begging, arms out, crying "Take it, take every bit of it, have it, please." Take every rotten piece of me  
And somehow you've only kept in record of how I say I love you far too little, and kiss any skin available in my reach, and you came gently into my life, never asking a single thing of me.
All the while I'm crying, begging stay long enough to realize I've become addicted to the shivers in my spine, and stars that scream your name.
Next page