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Sep 2017 · 387
The Pain of Sadness
Fox Friend Sep 2017
Aching
in my heart
in my soul
in my mind
in my breath

Throbbing
in my skull
in my feet
in my bones
in my core

Losing
hope
love
perspective
m
   y
      s
         e
            l
               f
Sep 2017 · 675
"They"
Fox Friend Sep 2017
Sometimes they intrude accompanied by waves of terror.
Most times, though, they prance in unashamed as if they were an old friend, thought to be always welcome.
What they do not realize is that I desire to leave them behind, like whispers lost in the wind.

"They" are those thoughts of death that visit me in all hours.
They have no boundaries.
They rustle through my thoughts while I deliver baked goods to neighbors.
They pester me as I laugh - really laugh - with loved ones.
They are a familiar companion during those cold drives in the rain.
They prompt me to think of the notes I might write for friends if I leave.
They make sure they are never forgotten, especially when I think I'm ready to move on.

They are
a familiar poison
a seemingly eternal toxicity
an incurable disease
a malignant influence
and so many other things.

As much as I call them these things, though, there is one thing that I can never deny - that is:
"They" are familiar and familiar things are not forgotten.
Sep 2017 · 272
The Light That Lives Within
Fox Friend Sep 2017
The light that lives within me wavers
But even through this darkness it shines
The flame has shrunk - almost invisible
Shadows become heavy in my mind

The wavering dance; my search for strength
Darkness consumes as light grows weary
The fight cannot be finished just yet
I want to glow, but I flicker just faintly

Sorrow attempts to overthrow joy
The flame burns brighter - no stranger to conflict
My light has been dimmed by prior affliction
Preparing for trials to which I won't submit

The impossible darkness is what fuels my spark
Flames grow after a season of weakness
The fight seemed close, but I was the victor
Uncertainty consumed, the outcome mysterious

My light is magnificent once again
A fire so bright to serve as a beacon
This flame is not natural; I coaxed it to roar
Without continuous fuel it will surely weaken.

Even at my lowest
When darkness thinks to reign
I refuse to be extinguished
Not ever, but especially not today
Sep 2017 · 329
Friends
Fox Friend Sep 2017
These are the moments
to live for
When the sun is shining bright
Happiness fills the soul
even more
And the end draws near
after the longest night.

These are the memories
to keep forever
Snow cones, laughter, summer fun
Winter brings darkness,
but I will remember
Friends have no season,
they stay without sun
Sep 2017 · 304
Again
Fox Friend Sep 2017
Jolted awake in the hours between too late and too early
Again
Breathing a heavy sigh at the ever placid night
Again
Wondering when my body will grow tired of its self-destruction
because I do not know how much longer I can survive on will alone

I find myself restless in the glowing hours of the morning
Again
The familiar panic has interrupted my slumber
Again
Darkness still lingers, but the sun’s flame will take over soon
and with it will come the burden of light and expectation

Sleeping through the night would be a red flag; I would lose my footing
Again
Don’t get me wrong- I’d love sleep to happen, but I can’t count on it ever
Again
The nightmares hold me captive, but at least they are familiar
in the sense that I can expect them to visit

I hold on to the hope that one day
I might rest without terror,
but I cannot make it a dream;
there is no room for anything but the monster
Maybe one day I will sleep through the night
Again

— The End —