am I on the wrong frequency?
because I still can't figure out
why you won't speak to me,
I forgave you
so easily
though our passions rose
unequally,
& honestly
I need you to be
on my side
unconditionally,
we'll make up
eventually
won't we?

if I cave will I collapse?
how can he be so close
but still just out of grasp?
& how much longer
will these fights last?
I need to know
that it's all in the past,
I'm falling
fast,
hope I don't
crash
×××××
can we please
go back
to before I said that?

just another night
filled with spite,
without a kiss goodnight
or making up after a fight,
a fight that was never supposed to be a fight
a fight that wasn't supposed to ruin the night

go to bed without knowing everything is alright
feeling nothing but contrite
what a night

turn out the light,
sleep tight,
don't let the demons bite...

everything is gonna be alright,
*right?

so here I am
bottling up my feelings again
pretending I have nothing to say again
for fear that we'll get into a fight again
a fight over something ******* stupid again
          it's always ******* stupid
I can only hold so many of my feelings in
before I explode,
before I unload,
before another episode
I guess I should just bottle it all up, right?
push it down, shove the cork in tight
          blow it up with dynamite
                  * * * * * * * * *
those late nights
when we fight
& our demons intertwine
where the monsters come out to play
& the devil bites into your brain
it makes you insane
          *lovers' quarrel:
          your own personal brand of Hell

why are there cameras everywhere I go?
     what are they recording?
          what are they watching?
               why are they watching us?

why are there cameras in every room?
why are they recording everything we do?
why are they watching the things I do?
& when was my debut?*
     (be careful, they're watching you too)

it is difficult to distinguish what is real from what is not real*

     what version of the world am I in?
these faces around me are so familiar but I can't recognize any of them

were we friends in a past life?
if we were, I don't think I'd forget
unless you were never a friend to begin with
but what does it matter anyway?
there are strangers surrounding me every day
& I just want to get-away

someone rescue me from my own mentality
my worst nightmares have become a reality
     I'm losing my mind
     & I can't rewind
     I can't go back to: when things were fine
          /pleasepleaseplease/
               take me back in time

wake me from this h a l l u c i n a t i o n
tell me it's     only my imagination
                    
                    my thoughts, they're running wild
                              I feel just like a child

     but I can’t think straight
     there's no escape:
*take me back to a     ~ + * dreamlike state * + ~