And so she gave up,
She had given in to her thoughts,
The screaming demons in her head,
Begging her, pleading, "Just one more"
Until she got deep, her cries got louder,
her sleeves got longer,
She started to slowly fade away.
Nobody noticed, of course
they thought she was just feeling down,
except one day she went to the store,
for rope, breaking inside
nobody could see her shattered heart,
the way she smiled weakly at people,
And the thoughts screamed at her to use it,
"Coward, do it already"
So she did
And now shes still, lifeless
swaying side to side,
a kicked stool under her,
wrists ******,
All because of her thoughts,
they destroyed her

and it is never so apparent
as when
they pick a him, over me.
Worry about a boy, over me;
never me,
never me.

What are you doing
to him, they scream.
worry about his life
before your own.
who cares, who cares?
you surely don't, no,
you put yourself first
and that is not okay, young lady,
not okay,
never okay.

the hearts of boys matter
far more than the fragile mess
filling your chest cavity, yes,
it matters not what they did,
what they do,
how you feel,
them. Them, only,
only for them does it matter.

plaster on a smile,
false positive, love more, care more.
your fault. you made
this happen
to you.
never their fault, no,
never theirs,
for your actions are the problem, see,
young lady, you must compromise;
for the boys,
the boys who matter
much more, forever,
than you.


(d.d.b)