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I secretly despise you
For your forced rejection of status quo
Your fascination with death and crows
Even though it's clear death frightens you
Your incessant opinion that you're a virtuoso
So loud, the ear begs to be free, says Van Goh
Yet, you act and strut around without a clue

I secretly hate you
For you disregard tomorrow
Focusing solely on your ego

I secretly envy you
Because at least you're good
At playing this game
 Nov 2015 fisharedrowning
lX0st
Lost
 Nov 2015 fisharedrowning
lX0st
The cold will always exist
It will always find us
It'll wrap itself around our frame
And squeeze until we're dust
And the agreement we had with fall
Will always break our trust
And like the leaves
We wither away
Lost.
I can feel the winter.
 Nov 2015 fisharedrowning
Sarah
I'm not sure when
I fell asleep,
but suddenly
I had fallen
into night's
embrace

Can you hear me?
can you hear me in
the blue of slumber
where I'm not even
aware
I'm
reaching out for
you

I want to know
you love me
just like I
want to know
the moment where
my mind
succumbs
to quiet and
lets my tired
body sleep

I need you so much
I almost
cannot
sleep.
When is it that you give up?
That you let infernos fire devour your strength
That you let delusion's screams chant a lamented melody for you to sleep by
That you let pain kiss your every waking thought goodbye

When is it that you get up to that point?
When you let the palpable tension of fear tighten a noose around your neck
When your mind doesn't register the calls of anguish any more because its numb
When  everything around you dulls to a faint buzz, and the colours drain with malady and the light shines with hate

When is it that you shatter?*
That the limbs of your body tear to stones,
That the hate which he possesses drowns you into storms
That every tears which falls from your eyes carry an anchor to the deepest pits of ocean
That the simplest motions reduce you to screams and blades
And the only waking thought in your mind is suicide.

When is it that you decide enough is enough?
That you decide you can't do this
You can't try anymore
You can't pretend to be strong
You can't smile anymore
You can't be happy ever again.
That the only thing you want to do now is sleep for eternity...

Should I answer this  question?
Should Itell you when specifically you give up?
It's  not up to me though.
You don't have to listen to me.
However if you want to know what I think
Then the answer my friends Is
Never

So when is it that you give up? Decide that you can't do this anymore?
Never
Stay strong
A sweet disorder in the dress
Kindles in clothes a wantonness:
A lawn about the shoulders thrown
Into a fine distraction:
An erring lace which here and there
Enthrals the crimson stomacher:
A cuff neglectful, and thereby
Ribbons to flow confusedly:
A winning wave (deserving note)
In the tempestuous petticoat:
A careless shoe-string, in whose tie
I see a wild civility:
Do more bewitch me than when art
Is too precise in every part.
If
If you ever find someone
Who cares for you as I did,
Do not push her away.
Selfless people are hard to find.

If  you ever find someone
Who trusts you as I did,
Do not betray her.
Trust is not so easily glued together
Like broken plates.

If you ever find someone
Who cries as many tears
As I did because of you,
Do not hurt her.
Tears quickly dry up and disappear
But scars often do not.

If you ever find someone
Who spent every moment thinking of you,
Do  not make her think you're doing the same.
Such betrayal is of the deepest,
Most painful kind.

If you ever find someone
Who loves you as much as I did,
Do not play with her heart.
Hearts are not easily mended
Hearts are not easily healed
Especially hearts that were given unreservedly.
He remained silent and his silence spoke.
Without words,  the story bespoke.
There was a fight in his breath , a soul of a fighter.
Another strain and his fist got tighter.
Facing the enemy ,living with in.
Morbid and morbid , beating the sin.
Times & times, he was dead.
Again & again , he rose from the very death bed.
Carved the hope from with in despair.
Beating the strain and no spare.
He is the human fighting for bread.
He is alive but living among dead.
He shares the same world where vanity live .
He has no food , which is care to few.
He is the fighter , fighting for life.
To be a human or a fighter, that's his strife*.
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