I’ve locked myself
In my room,
Planked on my bed,
Reading my books.

Days after,
I went out.
People looked at me
like I have worms on my mouth.

I didn’t mind them
and continued to walk
And as I do,
I hear them talk.

They call me names
As I ran with shame.
I hid from the world
And in the dark I crawled.

I hate people
--I always do,
But everything changed
When I met you.

You’re the light
In this world full of fright.
You’re my escape
In this world full of hate.

Then I realized
You’re just a dream.
You’re the main character
In the book I keep.

I guess I’ll hate
People forever
Until we meet again
My perfect stranger.

I’m tired of being tired
And instead of resting,
I decided to hide.

I’m tired of explaining
That the world isn’t just you and me,
That the earth keeps on spinning
And I’m pinned on a place I never wished to be.

I’m tired of crying,
Sleepless nights, and swollen eyes.
The eyes that turned red in the morning
Because the whole night I’ve been trying to live.

I’m tired of smiling,
When every piece inside me is breaking.
When all I wanted to do is to explode,
Yet all I do is just nod.

I’m tired of saying “I’m fine”
When in fact I am not
But you still believe me
Because you’re too blinded to see.

I’m tired of typing words—
Words you’re not worth to see;
Words you never heard from me,
Words that I meant to keep.

I’m tired of staying
And every night I thought of leaving
But then I imagined you alone
And then I walk back to my bed wishing I’d drowned.

I’m tired of pretending—
Saying I never loved you
When the truth is I really do.
And it hurts so much too

Because no matter what I say,
No matter what I do
All you can see
Are the things I never meant to do.

Above everything else…


I’m tired of being tired
And I bet you have no idea
How many times
I already died.