Our friendship got caught in a
Hurricane
That, ironically
Bore your name
Since then, you've been lost at sea
I, too
Am reluctantly free

I went to the graveyard today.
Sat beside your stone,
even through the rain,
just so you didn't feel lonely
(if you can feel at all).
I began to relate recent events.
That didn't take long,
so I sang songs you loved,
songs by Johnny Cash mostly.
I swear when I said
"Because you're mine..."
your stone rang like a bell.
     Something came over me then.
A tear fell down my face
when I remembered you said
nothing as you were leaving me.
I dug into the earth in a fit of passion,
though nearly sure of what I was doing.
I looked at your bones.
Held them.
I wasn't scared and was glad
that no one saw me.
But they didnt look like you.
They weren't smiling,
singing, or anything.
So, I put them back.
Covered them up.
Didn't say a word.
    And I left you.

I text him at 5:50 in the morning to tell him a group of butterflies is called a kaleidoscope.
Because it is.
And because I'd looked that up, having had the feeling that I'm full of an army of butterflies all trying to free themselves.
I worry that if I'm not vigilant enough they'll get free and I'll just scatter, not be anymore.
Maybe we're all that way, made up entirely of unruly butterflies.
I wonder if everyone else is just a better butterfly wrangler than I am.

I don't have a
"One that got away"
I have a
One I wish I didn't have to
Get away from

Yea of course,
I,
me,
a woman,
a black woman
a darker black woman to be exact..
have black privilege because thats a thing you know
Its like when I walk into the store and get followed ..  yea
or that time i came back to school with my “extensions” and was told my hair grows fast
or maybe its when a white person comes up to me asking if i listen to 21 savage because “black people listen to rap right?”
or my favorite is telling my brother to be safe
as he heads out the door worrying he may be shot for reaching for his wallet
maybe its when i worry about whether or not my brother or cousins or father will be the next Trayvon martin or Eric garner or philando castille even
my black privilege
has allowed me to be labeled as loud and ratchet and sometimes a ***
because that what dark skin black girls are
right ..
yea ….
thats black privilege
its getting told I'm pretty for a black girl
its being told I'm intimidating and mean and ugly natured
but no no i swear its not cause your black
I love black people I'm not racist
Slavery happened years ago
Black people are racist too
im not racist i just don't like black people  
yea … I've heard it all.
No !
im not just another “angry black girl”
Im just a black girl
Im not mad don't get me wrong
I just wanted to inform you on my black privilege
I wanted to inform you that it is NOT okay to touch my hair
that is NOT  okay to say to mock “black slang”
It is not okay to say “are you speaking english” when i talk
It is not okay to put my people through hundreds of years of slavery and oppression and systemic racism and TELL US TO GET OVER IT!
Im sorry excuse my tone of voice
but can you blame me for getting worked up when I have to worry about whether or not my people will come home at night
yea …
thats MY black privilege