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ern kingham Sep 2014
Do you feel guilty when I appear in your feed?
or did you block me?
ern kingham Sep 2014
A burden is the depression settling in around you like a rain cloud over only your head.
Walking from place to place soaking wet from the storm.
You are cold, you are sick, you are not okay.

2. A burden is the anxiety shaking your body until you feel like you might burst at the seams.
People can see that your hands won't stay still, and they stare.
You are trembling, you are scared, you are not okay.

3. A burden is the rumors your "best friend" has spread around the whole freshman class.
Secrets exposed to people you don't even know.
You are found out, you are alone, you are not okay.

4. A burden is the thought of suicide bouncing around your head.
The thought of death so good, yet so bad.
You are confused, you are conflicted, you are not okay.

5. A burden is reaching out for help and being punished.
No longer allowed to talk to those they told you would help.
You are lost, you are unprotected, you are not okay.

6. A burden is not a student who has experienced 1-5.
A  student who yearns so much to get better, and just keeps getting pushed down.
A student who is terrified, who is lonely, who is not okay

7. You called yourself a mental health professional.
But 8. would never deal with this student yourself.
and 9. called her a burden to the entire campus.

But the campus is unaffected, the campus is stable, and the campus is okay.

So did you mean the campus would be better off without me?

Or that you would?
True story about the counselor at my college.
ern kingham Sep 2014
A lot of times I text you first.
No.
All the time.

A lot of times you answer.
No.
Only sometimes.

I wonder if I bother you, and so I don't text you for a while

but ultimately I need you.
I need you to answer me.

So I texted you tonight.
I'm still waiting for an answer...
I love you. I'm sorry
  Sep 2014 ern kingham
Rj
I was proud of myself,
When I shakily took the blade
Away from my wrist
Because I couldn't stand it
If I started cutting again
I am stronger than before
ern kingham Sep 2014
This life isn't a contest of who wore it best.
Inspired by Jamie Tworkowski of TWLOHA, his poem is called "There is still some time"
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