How many waves have you been pushed under?
Can you count the number of times you have choked on the water that filled your lungs?
It's impossible to remember the amount of times we have felt like we are drowning.
But, now imagine you are drowning.
The forceful crash of the waves over you.
The amount of times you gasped for air.
How heavy your lungs felt as you couldn't breathe.
Your life flashes before your eyes each time your face is buried underwater.
And each time you make your way up to shore, your body aches.
You feel unsafe.
Untrusting.
Now imagine the ocean as anxiety.
The forceful crash of your efforts, smashed around you.
The amount of times you gasped for air.
How heavy your lungs felt as you couldn't breathe.
Your life flashes before your eyes each time you lay down to sleep.
And each time you find a way to get up in the morning, your body aches.
You feel unsafe.
Untrusting.
I know that was an imaginary scenario for you, but not for me.
I am drowning.
My anxieties are the ocean.

I want to inhale all your demons
I want my lungs to fill up with all the words you've never spoken
I want to suffocate on your sadness, even if I drown in it
If I inhale all the chaos,
All that's left is the shining bright treasure of light
I want you to inhale all my love
I want you to **** in every ounce of positivity radiating from body
I want you to always stay afloat because you are so full of happiness.
I want the oxygen to sustain your smile,
Even if the carbon dioxide is poisoning me.

Do you remember the last time you felt alive?
Was it when she delicately kissed your neck?
Was it when she whispered I love you?
Was it when she made you feel empowered?
Or was it only when you felt you were dying that you remembered what it felt like to live?
Was it when she looked at you with daggers?
Was it when she hissed out your name?
Was it when she ripped out your heart, that had only ever beat for her?
Do you remember what it felt like to die?
Was it the burning of your eyes as she walked away?
Was it the aching in your bones as she crushed every part of your being?
Was it the way the darkness engulfed your mind and never let you escape?

Please do not raise your voice at me
I do not handle loud noises well
I was not raised in a good home
I come from chaos

Please do not raise your hand to me
I do not know how to stop you
I was not raised to be a fighter
I come as a civilian from a war zone

Please do not hurt me on purpose
I do not have good coping mechanisms
I was not raised to heal fast
I come from damage

Please do not **** me
I need protection
I need kindness
I need love

You stood there, poured gasoline on my body and held a match in your hand.
You would have burned me alive
I don't think I'll ever understand
You left me to freeze, alone in the storm on the coldest day in winter
You would have let me turn to ice
Is there anything you wouldn't have done?
You taunted me with threats.
I was afraid for my life. 
One wrong word,
I would be destined for the knife.
You ran a hot bath for me, lit the candles, told me to relax, while you held my head underwater
You made the bed neatly, spread out rose petals, and tied me to the posts
You lured me with promises
You killed me while telling me you loved me.

My walls were not strong enough to withstand you
I will build them taller than before
I will create a maze in which you will never find me
I refuse to let you break them again
My foundations will be sturdy
You will not shake me

I will turn you into a writer
My many metaphors will make you dizzy
My soft tones will make you swoon
My sentences flow in perfect rhythm

I will turn you into a writer
My words will be strung together cautiously and meticulously
My similies will leave you comparing each aspect of yourself to others
My lyrics are as powerful as my love

I will turn you into a writer
Because I will make you question your existence
I will love every part of you while burning the edges of your book
I will hold you down like an anvil on a pedestal

I will turn you into a writer
Because I will make you feel alive while tearing you apart at the seams
And I'll distract you with my stanzas
I will trick you into thinking I am a writer just like I will trick you into thinking you're in love with me

I will turn you into a writer
I know the best art comes from pain
I will make you hurt and you won't have a choice
The only place you will be able to go to escape me are your thoughts

I will turn you into a writer
Because keeping thinking destroys a soul
And I will always encourage you to share how you feel
And what better way to do that than to write about me

Looking at you is like walking through an exquisite gallery full of the most beautiful paintings in existence
Fascinating, overwhelming, I cannot help but get lost in each brushstroke
Touching you is like the very first hit of the finest herbal medicine high up in the mountains
Rough, calming, I cannot help but inhale until you fill up my lungs and leave me dazed
Kissing you is like a taking long, slow drink from the most eloquent wine on a balcony in France
Sweet, sultry, I cannot help but pour another glass
Making love to you is like biting into a delicious meal seasoned to perfection cooked just right
Mouthwatering, satisfying, I cannot help but overindulge in my cravings for an extra helping