Mos - Hello Poetry

Mos Nov 2017

You exist in the loose space between my eyelids
Appearing in dreams more often than sometimes
A transient bond no longer present
The distance between oceans seemed to fold over themselves
At least, until you were gone
Now the space from me to you feels like a universe
Almost as if you are nonexisting
Nothing more than a figment of imagination
A transparent being within a fever dream
But the world goes on, doesn’t it?
Your voice is merely particles of waves
A silence symphony
An elegy like something has died

#lonely #friendship #depression #dream #memory #nostalgia

Mos Nov 2017

I Felt Like New

The wooden floorboards no longer speak
Dust no longer resides in the air; a cleaner breath to breath
Though cracks still remain as a reminisce of the past
A past that no longer exists, not really
The old swing on the old front porch still sways
Where I used to sit and think alone

This isolated path of self discovery
It came to an end not too long ago
My house was rearranged
Books placed neatly on the shelves
Furniture were placed in an order peculiar to me

I’d call this feeling exhilarance
Or serendipity if you prefer

You moved into my hollowed walls
As if spring came for a second time
Everything is renewed, my dear
You made this house my home

old emotions for one who almost caused my death

#love #spring #house #flowers #serendipity #renewal

Mos Nov 2017

Seasonal Depression

I am a hollowed out tree during mid winter’s rage; scrawny and unappealing. My branches quiver and shake from the anxiety of life's passing. They speak amongst themselves “It’s so much prettier when alive.”
I’m sorry.
I’m sorry my bones are cracked and worn. One gentle touch and they snap because past winters have left me fragile. I’m sorry my silence is harsh and eerie. I’ve grown under the rule “speak only when spoken to” and no one really cares to stop and really talk. It doesn’t matter though. One gust of wind from another's mouth causes me to topple down, for I’m fearful of screaming rage.
I’m sorry I cannot provide beauty for your longing eyes to gaze upon anymore. I never asked for darkness’ cold embrace, but it’s the only comfort I know.
I’m sorry.

for my father and mother

#depression #winter #isolation #anxiety

Mos Nov 2017

King Midas

Tell me how to pull the weeds out of my scalp
Because spring tried to come with the company of flowers
The company of something new and better
But I let them wilt and rot within my flesh and bones

Death stormed in with an unforgiving glare
As winter quickly bombarded the land
The weeds and flowers had died in my hands
Nothing is salvageable
Everything beautiful dies
Where is the life I long to see?

i dont feel worth the love they try to give

#flowers #death #depression #spring #winter #seasons

Mos Nov 2017

Isolation

Most days I want to disappear into oblivion
I'll let my existence reside
in the corner of the classroom
Where no one seems to notice
and there will be peace
Peace and quiet

#depression #winter #isolation

Mos Nov 2017

Love Isn't Enough

Looking back my love letters sound a lot like suicide notes. Sometimes, like tonight, I feel as if no one can love me. Maybe that is okay.
My doctor wanted to send me to an all girls medical school so I can live to my full potential. It hurts, because I want to love and love and love.
But my full potential isn't loving or being loved, is it?

a discussion with my doctor

#love #sad #priority #suicide #emotions

Mos Sep 2017

Self Obliteration

And maybe I just need some sort of company or peace
Because the trees are shouting a ballad of self misery, but I'm the one who wrote it
Choosing isolation like it was offering a grant to self discovery
Well, dear, I still don't know who i'm supposed to be

#depression #confusion #identity