They say the pen is mightier than the sword,
but I chose both.

Playing the hardwood like a keyboard;
fingertips and nails tapping rhythmically.
I tied the tie but you pulled the cord,
letting the knot come undone; swinging freely.
I didn’t deserve your invisible cold shoulder,
I didn’t deserve the weight of your blame,
maybe you’ll realize in the future when you’re older,
something tells me you’ll never change, you’ll remain the same.

And you’ll be jumping from decision to decision
without knowing your landing spot,
and if it all goes as I envision,
you’re gonna need all the sympathy the world has got.
Because you never learn from a mistake,
and respect and empathy you surely lack,
as you leave destruction in your wake with every heart you break,
and you can’t even be bothered to turn around and look back.

You don’t question the motives of the words in your ears,
convinced you’re making your own decisions while being directed.
I didn’t realize you became 2008 Britney Spears,
this acceptance of no responsibility is more than I ever expected.
You always were a bad liar,
overcompensating for the lack of a single fact,
but in two or six years you didn’t tire,
did you take lessons from my girl Meryl in how to act?

They say to base a person
on not their words but their action,
and not to judge someone when they’re at their worst,
you complain of conflict while also causing the traction,
and keep applying the pressure; all has potential to burst.
You watched me shovel and dig a grave,
convincing me the whole time it was a life for two.
I worshipped you willingly as your devoted slave,
and I guess I was just gum stuck to your shoe.

I want to slander your name
but then I’d have to speak it,
instead I passed back the blame
this time for good you can keep it.

I broke at the shore of the ocean
but lovingly embraced the sea,
let it wash away each stain of emotion,
but got carried away and ended up drowning.
While the surf invaded my airways
and the salt brushed to my skin,
my mind flooded with memories of the sun’s rays,
unconsciously my lips found a grin.

I outstretched my arms and pried apart my fingers,
survival instinct set off alarms, but the beat in my chest lingers.
I was pushed and pulled with the current, dragged away with the tide,
my fear of aquatic lifeforms should act as a deterrent, but I decided to enjoy the ride.

Do you see the invisible strings and lines
that intertwine each life and path?
The subtle clues and the flashing signs,
the chemistry and the math.
Sharing the same air and skies,
the same language and the same view.
Similar perspective through different eyes,
different soils but it still grew.

I stood firm and unmoving on a patch of grass that wasn’t green
and I failed to remember the only thing I tried to forget.
Flashbacks and hauntings of every back that I have seen,
walking away with head held high with no regret.

And my body still aches and trembles
with all the days lost it never seemed to retain heat.
But each day gains a shimmer of the past it resembles,
and now I’m warming up except my poor circulated feet.

Do you hear the silent music and unspoken words,
that tell a long story only two or three truly know?
Drowned out by passing cars and chirps of birds,
carried away gently with the wind’s blow.
Sharing the same air and skies,
the same language and same view.
Hand on left I promise to tell lies,
because even the promise wouldn’t be true.

I saw a vision in front me that day,
I didn’t even have to block out a single shadow, I didn’t have to try.
And I smiled unknowingly, not knowing what to say,
even so the words nestled in my throat, I choked but didn’t die.

I’ll gift a map, and I’ll provide clear and written direction.
I’ll mark off each trap, and reveal the secret route to avoid detection.

Some recoil at the scars,
some wish to know how you received them.

They found two versions of me
both with open eyes and closed doors,
one bobbing and floating in the sea,
the other lying on the shores.
They opened me up and found nothing inside,
those vital parts were something I felt I had to hide.

Do you feel the distance
clawing at the stone walls?
It’s discovered in an instance,
disguised in laughs and cat calls.
Swallow whispers and bite your tongue,
don’t think to speak against her,
holding hands that once were wrung,
unsure of what chains you prefer.

I never lived very much,
and now it’s time to start dying.
I go to reach for your touch,
once gentle is now painfully prying.
I always believed that one day
you’d see that small last percent of me,
but you dragged that ninety-nine majority away,
the final piece you never truly cared to see.

So close your beautiful eyes,
block and plug your adorable ears,
avoid rightfully owed real goodbyes,
and ignore the reality of your fears.
You suffered, and I suffered,
but atleast we stood through together.
Life gets tougher but there’s no other,
that I’d stand by forever.

How loud do I need to say “I love you”
So atleast you can hear the echoes
Every barrier, obstruction and wall I’ll get through,
‘cause even the most dead plant still grows.

I swear that I will love you until my death,
your name will be whispered in my final breath,
and it’ll be a prayer, the only one that I’ve ever known.
You’re not here and you say you’ve left,
the things I remember you make yourself forget,
but I’ll still be there, even if it’s in our home alone.