do you know
how hard it is
to walk smiling
when all you feel is pain
sadness and tears on your face?

I used to rip the roots of new relationships
out of the fertile soil
because I couldn't stand
to see another one wilt.
I guess I stopped growing.

But the neighboring plants
did not stop reaching for the sun
when my petals started to drop.
You asked me for an inch to bloom,
and I gave you acres.

I am alone.
I am
alone.
Rescue me. No amount of
indie live songs and
ice cream.
New girl. Popcorn. Sleep.
I am still
alone.
I don't want to live like this anymore.
Pretend to want me. I am
begging you. Take
advantage of me. Please.
I can write the saddest poem of all tonight.
I  am alone. And no amount of anything
will
change that.

I am not a poet.

I am just a ****** up girl with a skewed perception.

I am composed of heartbreak and battle scars and I try but not enough.
Never enough.

I am not a poet.

I don't know iambic pentameter. I stay up too late and make coffee at the wrong time.

I yell when I get angry and I love too much when I love.

I am begging you to love me. Whoever you are. Fall in love with my poetry, if not with me.

I am not a poet. I am just a young woman tired from life and ready to move forward but too scared to go alone and I want you to hold my hand.

I do not just love you. I also hate you. I am both and I am none.

Do you understand!

I AM NOT A POET!!!!!!

I am not good enough smart enough pretty enough

I will love you until my heart breaks.

I am not
Not
Not
Not
A ******* poet.

I just write out my tears in prose.

You took my joy of life
So can i have my heart back?

I cut myself on the future
I thought of kissing your picture
I detached myself from
lullabies and sorry eyes
only to realize:

I want to make love to you in November,
just before the empty of December.
Where snow blankets
and suffocating leaf-beds
aren't the only dreams
to fall asleep in our heads.

I could hear your voice trip
as my hands started to drip
around your hips and thighs-
You could tranquilize
with your lips and byes.

You look so sleepy-headed
Many words I have threaded
to weave a dream
desperately
but you prefer my
reality.