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ghazal Aug 21
This time last year we were laying on the roof
Holding onto the roots
I miss you so and i miss you dearly
I hold you close to my heart even though you forget about me more and more daily
I shouldn’t but i love you
I shouldn’t but i want to call you
Just to hear your voice again
Just to relive our night together
I wish i never let you go
I wish you never left me so
Alone and i yearn for your call
I promised myself i wouldnt take you back  
I promised myself i wouldnt let you have this power
I wish you’d let me back in even for a quarter of an hour
I miss you so and i miss you dearly
Fear of loss played a role in our demise
And letting you go was a mistake i compromised
This time last year we were laying on the roof
Now across the street i lay intoxicated watching the police make its round on the area
I’d spend years in jail just to hold your hand one more time
I miss you so and i miss you dearly
I love you so and i love you dearly
ghazal Aug 21
It’s that time of the year again-
I feel lost.
With hesitation on my wrists my lips begin to defrost.
July 4th.
The anniversary of when you left me.
Three years later and I still miss you dearly.
Took me too long to realize I was never your love-
It was just my turn.

And just like digging a grave for my favorite tree,
It might’ve been useless but i needed it.
ghazal Aug 21
I open my sliding door and leave my inhibitions scattered on my bedroom floor.
Up the flight of stairs, I take a seat on the edge of the roof facing the city.

It’s cold.

And if it wasn’t for this cigarette I’d be inside staring at my phone.
I count the lights on six six west bellevue place,
A building I loved but never been in.
I like smoking in the cold because I can never tell whats my breath and which is the smoke.
I look up at the deep blue sky and count stars of crystal white.
I tap my cigarette over the edge of the roof and watch as the flakes of ash meet its snowy doom.
I can hear the people below,
And the loud music coming from my room.
I see clouds of smoke,
And try to make a tune out of the car honks.
I pinch the cherry of my cigarette and hear it sizzle in the snow.

I take a look at my favorite building, smell the burning firewood, and feel the cold seek refuge in the warmth of my body before tossing this left over tobacco in an empty bottle of red wine, i call an ashtray.

Back in the warmth of my room,
In bed and curled,

I think about how if it wasn’t for that cigarette,

i wouldn’t see the world.
ghazal Mar 7
at the edge of a roaring ocean, i paint a crimson sky.
seduced by love and affection,
i meld my broken heart with white washed tides.
and no matter what, i don't blame the sea for all that it did to me.
i'm just a soul going through life
only to realize that all i want is buried deep underneath.
yet i might drown to get what i need,
but on the off chance that i resurface,
i'll dig my way through the mud beneath.
i'll go through life with dirt under my fingernails just to feel some sort of purity inside.
and although crimson may paint a beautiful sunset,
i need red to fuel my blood.
until then,
i'll mix the white waters that wash up-

"and kneeling at the edge of the transparent sea, i shall shape from myself a new heart from salt and mud".
"and kneeling at the edge of the transparent sea, i shall shape from myself a new heart from salt and mud".
-anne carson
ghazal Feb 24
I dream of Paris
I dream of France
I dream of white wine gripped by your soft hands
The view behind you is breathtaking
But not enough to distract me
Buildings of stone catch my eye
Maybe thats why your heart ran me dry
But I’m not one to complain
Especially about you
Et je suis adonné à tu
Ça va
Ça va
Avec toi
ghazal Feb 19
i fell asleep on your lips once again
the taste of pomegranate and champagne
yet morning mimosas couldn't water down the pain
from sunrise
to sunset
your body wrapped around me
and i'm still waiting to feel alive
sin and yang
crooked charcoal paintings on pearl white walls hang
a mix of blue and violet
i sat in darkness hearing the teardrops fall
asleep in my arms
but your warmth wasn't enough to reach my freezing heart
mistake dropped down my lips
you wiped my sins with your soft fingertips

the thing is,
my past is an eclipse
and constantly looking back
gave me scars on my sterling skin
and made me blind
to nights of sin
ghazal Dec 2018
you're gonna leave when the rain stops.
when my lonely world is joined by you the pain stops.
and i hope you don’t feel pressured but please stay.
because once the clouds pass and the trees cease to sway,
the memories come-
the memories remain.
it’s not your responsibility i know that,
but when it comes to implementing change my minds blank.
my heart ends up getting thrown around-
a free for all.
and i cant seem to focus without you-
my adderall.
and each day that passes,
my tolerance grows faster,
the world gets louder,
my brain feels crowded,
and my heart beats faster.
so calm me down with a kiss or two.
nothing about me wants to feel this kind of blue.
maybe my neck, get that a darker shade of hue.
so hold me close, i’ll hold you too.
and in this cold weather,
i somehow feel less tethered
to the world outside theres somehow less pressure.
but the raindrops stop tapping on my window
and you’re gone before i get a chance to whisper

“don’t go”.
insta: @faithpoetrybook
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