and the blue skies turned gray
as i desperately beg you to stay.

and the memories came rushing in
how happy we've been.

and our wounds will heal.
we're happy still.

it's just that the storms hide our sun
but it's never gone
it's just hiding in the clouds
amidst our sea of doubts

If my heart should somehow cease to beat, do not allow yourself to mourn.
For I am not dead.
Merely dreaming, the Great Dream.
A perfect silence has fallen at last.

If my love for you should somehow fade do not think of the ending.
For time is a river.
Always running and rushing.
What has come before shall be again.

Return to the quiet garden of your youth.
Where flowers extend their roots into the soil of our Mother.
Return to the quiet garden of your youth.
Where beauty is stone and green and ancient like the soil of our Mother


If my eyes should somehow go dark do not believe I have lost my light.
For my light is you.
Always guiding me home.
Where ever you go, so too will I.

To climb is to fall.
In time, the ladder bends.
The hand reaches too far and grabs
a fistful of nothing.

When did it start?
When words fell upon deafened ears.
Honest sentiment was but a mirage
Kindness stripped and mangled within the shards of a broken mind

When did kidding myself that I am who I thought I was became an over bearing fantasy,
That life could treat me well
When I knew all along that the self deprecating reality of the world,
would show me I have nothing to offer

How did I allow myself to feel strength in self worth
Knowing the humiliation of being the joke to everyone's comedic stance;
On how to be human
How to be a man
How to be normal.

When did it start?
When love was something to fear
Fighting the self fulfilling prophecy of inevitable knowledge
That I will lose all that I hold with frayed heart strings.

I fear the day that they will all snap at once
When there will no longer be a safety net
When the only comfort I feel is the reality that in my fall, the darkness never ends

Their is a disease inside her soul
The kind that nothing can fix
It spreads and grows till theirs nothing left
No secret worlds inside of her, no halos floating round her head
The angels she used to live by
Have been replaced by the devil
Ripping and clawing its way inside
Sparing no expense
To ruin every bit of light
Now all that´s left is black
Her heart has turned to ice
Her once kind words used sparingly, and laced with hidden meaning
She has turned into a mystery
Her past left in the past

They say we have as many cells in our bodies as there are stars in existence.  
We are each a walking, talking universe.

When I look in the mirror I see the tears have stained my eyes a different shade of blue.
It's the blue of newborn stars all those light years away.
My cheeks, red, are the color of the old stars. The ancients at the end of their reign.
It is the infinite, the vast, the cosmos as the act of mourning. But sometimes the universe is in an atom, the big things are in the mundane and the sadness comes at the small things.
The shoes in the hall, the towels folded a certain way, a sons bumped head.
Sparking tears of star dust and causing our universes to tremble.

We do not only mourn a human being but the death of universe .

Let us be like trees in autumn.
Let us turn colors and leave the landscape of this world more beautiful than it was before.
Let others bask in the purity of our evolutionary changing leaves.

May we not be afraid to shed our skin.
May we know that even when we are most barren, like the branches of winter it will not last.

Spring will come again.
It will put bark back on our trunks.
It will feed our roots that we embedded deep within the earth.
It will allow us to bloom again.