At this point, I don't even care that it's over.
I know it had to end.
What I don't understand is how you could lie to me.
How you could sit there and tell me that there was no one else.
How you could say that you loved me, when you really didn't care.
I don't get how those words were just words for you.

But maybe, since you've repeated them to - only God knows how many - different faces, those words, that I held close, lost all meaning to you.

I don't want to be another girl that you loved.
I don't want to be another girl you cared for.

Real or not, I don't want to be that girl.

Maybe the lies became too much for you to keep up with. Maybe you honestly realized I deserved more.

I refuse to believe that it was all a lie, but I can't distinguish between fact and facade with you.

I think it was like I said in the beginning: you loved the idea of me.

I'm sitting here heartbroken over a man who didn't know me, while I try to forget the only one who ever really did.

You taught me how to love, but never how to be loved.
You showed me the beauty of trust; the bond of friendship.
You were never mine, but I yours.
You weren't my first kiss, and you won't be my last.
But, you were my first love.
My first real, true, deep love.

I don't even know if you realize how much I love you.
Or if you ever will.

We haven't spoken in months, almost a year.

You voice has faded,
Your laugh is gone,
Your smile is lost,
Your embrace has vanished.

Yet, my love for you remains untouched.

It always seems to come back to you.

You ******* me up real good, without even realizing it.

I wonder when I realized I loved you.

Was it when I couldn't breathe while in a room with you, but I couldn't imagine being anywhere else?

Was it when we were young, simply enjoying each others company?

Or was it when I realized the interactions I had with you - no matter how short or how long - were what got me through the day?

You.

It was always you.

I admitted today that if I was to wait for anyone to fall for me, it would be you - and only you.

I've tried hating you.
I've tried letting go.
I've tried forgetting you.
I've tried moving on.
Believe me, I've tried.

But for some reason, I always come back to you.

If you could see me now you'd tell me I'm crazy.
But maybe you're right.
You make me crazy.

I miss you more than you know.
More than you should be allowed to miss someone.

You were always my favorite "hello" and hardest "goodbye".

I used to be angry at you - resentful even that you left.

You started the patterns of goodbyes.

But I'm not mad anymore.
I just hope you're happy now... wherever life has taken you.

Because, you taught me how to love..