Stop.
Stop making me believe I mean anything to you.
Stop worrying about me.
Stop caring what I've been up to.

Stop it all.

I trusted you and all of your empty promises.

I believed every word you spoke to me.

So just stop.
Stop with all of it.

I don't want to hear that you miss me.
I don't care if you're still in love with me.

You walked away. You left.

Just like I knew you would. You left.

Just like you promise me you wouldn't. So many times you reassured me that I had nothing to fear.

Ha. You used to get so angry at me because I was scared to fall for you.

Look how that turned out.

Who left who out of fear?

You did. You left.

I won't write a book about us

We were a whirlwind disaster

But I loved every heart wrenching moment

I won't write you a book

Because we failed

I'll write some fiction

About us working

About us loving forever

Just like we promised

I'll write some fiction

And it will be beautiful.

Boys are stupid for lying...


But girls?


Girls, we are incredibly stupid for continuously believing them.

I'm curious. How does it feel to **** up two relationships in less than two months? I bet it feels ******* fantastic. Just don't convince the next ***** that you actually love her. Give her a heads up that you're all about the *** no matter how much you say "relationships aren't about *** for me" give her a heads up for me. Let her know she doesn't mean **** to you except some nice ***** and someone to complain to. Make sure she knows that the ring you show her wasn't bought for her. Don't give her Jacks ring because that'll make her feel special. It'll make her read into it. When we both know that she isn't special. Jack gave you that ring. Stop trying to give it away. Don't tell her that she's beautiful or sing her songs. Because that'll make her think that you actually give a **** what happens to her. When you know you really could care less. Don't tell her that she calms you down or helps with your ptsd because that'll make her feel important. It'll make her feel like she means something to you. When really it's just another **** buddy that you tell "I love you" to. And for Christ's sake. Don't tell her those three words if you're not sure with all of your being that you mean it. Don't tell her that you're scared to lose her when you're gonna walk away. Don't tell her that you had ******* nightmares about her leaving, when you were planning on leaving her. Don't **** her up any more than she already is man. Say what you mean and mean what you ******* say. Don't make plans with her that are far out in the future because that'll just **** up those days for her. Next time you see a ***** that you wanna ****, make sure she knows that's all it is. Don't tell her that you don't hurt people and that you're the one who is always getting hurt, because that's complete *******. Complete and utter *******. Don't lie to her about what you believe and then decide to tell her the truth once she is invested her whole heart in you. Unless of course, you don't care how many girls you **** up in the head. Because in that case, do all of those things I just said not to do.

I've forgotten how to breathe without you. Every breath is shallow and new. It feels like winter is surrounding me. The cold, the crass, the confusion. With every breath, I exhale your memory. Your touch, your smell, your kiss, your smile.

What a contagious smile.
What I would give to see it overcome your face, one more time.

I've forgotten how to sleep without you. I close my eyes and you are all that I see. It used to be that thinking of you, remembering you, was the only way I would fall asleep. I used to think about the first day I met you. The moment our eyes met for the first time. How as we walked, I tried walking as close to you as I could, without making you feel uncomfortable, because I longed for the moments when your skin would brush across mine. I use to think about how it felt when you would come up behind me and hold me for a minute, every time you thought I was asleep. But now, every time I close my eyes I see you. I see what we had. What we lost. I don't know how to sleep without you.

I have forgotten how to live without you. I did it for 18 years before you, but in the short time we spent together, you have made me forget. I can't sleep. I can't eat. I can't go anywhere or do anything. I feel so lost, broken, confused, dead.

I have forgotten how to exsist in a world where you do not.

But have no fear, do not worry.
You will never be forgotten.

It was all a lie, wasn't it?
From the first "I love you" to the last "goodbye".
It was all a ploy. A game. A rouse.
You didn't mean any of it.
God knows I would never hurt you, and I believed you when you said you wouldn't hurt me either.
I beleieved you when you told me that you were falling in love with me.
I believed you when you said you wanted to spend your life with me.
Spend your time, energy, money.. On me.
But I was never a priority.
I was never number one.
Not in your eyes, not once.

You're not my problem anymore.
I don't have to deal with your lies anymore.
You ended us, and frankly, I'm done fighting for a lie.

So don't tell me you love me. Don't tell me how happy you were with me. Don't tell me that you miss me, that you need me, that you want me back.
I don't want to hear any of it.
It's not my problem anymore.

I can't trust you anymore. I don't believe a word you have said, and as far as I'm concerned. It's all lies from here out too.

So have a nice life. I hope you find someone who will take you as you are, liar and all.